[Stargate: Fiction] "Jane & Meredith" [John/Rodney, G]
Title: Jane & Meredith
Author: Ami Ven
Rating: G
Word Count:
Prompt: mcsheplets challenge 257 ‘unscheduled offworld activation’
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Pairing(s): John Sheppard/Rodney McKay
Summary: “I am Colonel Sheppard.” - “That’s funny. So am I.”
Jane & Meredith
“Unscheduled offworld activation,” came Chuck’s voice, over the city-wide intercom. “Colonel Sheppard to the Control Room.”
Jane had already been on her way there, but she picked up the pace, keying on her radio, “Sheppard here. What have we got?”
“Unusual gate activity, ma’am. Can’t be sure yet.”
“On my way. Sheppard out.”
“Ma’am,” said Chuck, when she arrived a few minutes later. “We’re receiving an IDC.”
“Major Lorne?”
“No, ma’am. Yours.”
Jane frowned. “But I’m here.”
“Yes, we can see that,” said Meredith, barreling into the Control Room and unceremoniously wheeling Chuck’s chair out of her way. “So either someone has duplicated our IDC pattern - which would be bad, let me tell you - or there is another Colonel Sheppard waiting for us to lower the shield - which would be…”
“Right,” said Jane, and leaned over to hit the intercom. “Marine teams four, five and six to the Gate Room. C’mon, McKay.”
Grumbling under her breath, Meredith followed her down the stairs, just as the shield flickered out of existence and two people stepped into Atlantis. Both were men, dressed in standard-issue off-world gear and they froze, raising their hands as the Marines surrounded them.
“Whoa, whoa, it’s us,” said the shorter man.
Jane crossed her arms. “Who are you?” she demanded. “How did you get an Atlantis IDC?”
“By being the base commander,” said the other, dark-haired man.
“Try again,” Meredith told him. “Colonel Sheppard is the base commander.”
“I am Colonel Sheppard,” he insisted.
“That’s funny,” drawled Jane. “So am I.”
*
“Oh, that is so not fair,” grumbled Meredith, after the test results had come back, verifying within a degree of medical certainty that their unexpected visitors were male versions of Jane and Meredith. “How do you get to be just as hot as a man as you are as a woman?”
“What?” said Jane.
“Look at him,” the scientist said, gesturing vaguely at the other side of the infirmary. “With the hair and the slouching. And boy-me looks like… that.”
The other McKay - also named Meredith, but who went by their middle name, Rodney - was arguing with Carson, hands moving wildly. Privately, Jane thought he looked a lot like her Meredith, with the same wide mouth and brilliant blue eyes. He seemed a bit more solidly-built, without her generous curves, but his voice had the same cadence as hers, especially when he was upset.
“What?” Jane repeated. “He looks fine.”
“Fine,” scoffed Meredith. “Says the woman who worked as a model in college.”
“My roommate was an art major,” the colonel protested, scowling across the infirmary at her alternate self.
His universe’s version of their parents had named him John, and now that Jane knew he was supposed to be her, she could see the similarities. They were both tall and slim, but he looked more lean than flat-chested, like Jane did. His hair was short, like hers, and seemed just as unruly - and looking at John, she thought maybe her ears were ‘freakishly pointy’ the way Meredith often said.
“Colonel Sheppard?” called Carson, and Jane tugged Meredith over to them. “They check out just fine. Could do with some food, both of them, but otherwise, they’re all yours.”
Jane nodded. “Thanks, Carson. You boys hungry?”
“Finally!” said Rodney. “We’ve been here for hours-”
“It’s been forty-five minutes,” said John.
“-and I could go into hyperglycemic shock any second.”
Meredith snorted. “If you are boy-me, you’ve got plenty of time.”
“Still,” said Jane, shooting her a ‘play-nice’ look. “C’mon, gentlemen, the mess hall’s this way…”
Meredith and Rodney spent the entire meal comparing resumes, arguing about physics and trying to one-up each other with stories of all the times they’d saved the day. Jane was quiet, listening to them talk - and when she looked over at John, he was doing the same, with the same goofy smile on his face.
“So,” she said, softly. “Sheppard and McKay, huh?”
He looked startled for a moment, then ducked his head, smiling. “Yeah. He’s just…”
“Yeah,” Jane repeated. “Yeah, me, too.”
John snorted a laugh. “It’s like a universal constant. But half the time, it doesn’t make any kind of sense.”
“That sounds about right,” she agreed.
“…and Sheppard would agree with me,” said Meredith, suddenly.
“About what, Mer?” said Jane.
“It’s a fascinating scientific opportunity! I mean, tell me you’re not curious to know what you’re really like in bed.”
“I promise you, I have never wondered that,” said Jane. “And you are not going to find out.”
“Sheppard,” she protested.
“Three words, Mer - forsaking all others.”
Meredith waved a dismissing hand. “That wouldn’t count, he’s me.”
“And for that matter,” added Rodney, “it would go both ways. We could-”
“No, McKay,” said John. “There is no way in hell we’re playing interdimensional Wife Swap.”
“Technically, we can’t swap wives,” said Merideth. “Since the only wives in this scenario are married to each other.”
“Oh, my god,” muttered Jane, pushing back her chair. “That’s it. Mer, go see if Radek has anything on the gate malfunction. I’ll see you guys to the guest quarters, and tomorrow we can pretend this conversation never happened.”
“Agreed,” said John. “Let’s go, Rodney.”
Meredith hesitated when Jane passed her chair. “I didn’t mean…” she began.
“I know,” said Jane, and kissed her briefly, before nudging her wife in the direction of the door. “I’ll come to your lab in a few.”
“Sure,” said Meredith, and left.
“I would apologize for that,” said Jane, leading the two men out into a different corridor. “But you probably understand better than anyone else.”
John smiled. “I guarantee you that Rodney was thinking the same thing, he just figured it would make him sound like a creep to say it first.”
“You were both thinking the same, just keep trying to deny it,” said Rodney.
“I wasn’t,” John protested, then added, softly, “No offence, it’s just… you look like Mom.”
Jane blinked. “I don’t… Really?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Now I kinda understand why Dad and I had so many problems.”
“Oh,” said Jane. She felt a little light-headed as she said goodnight and headed straight for Meredith’s lab. “Hey.”
“Radek has a few leads,” said Meredith, without looking up from her laptop. “We’re running some simulations, before we know any… Are you okay?”
“I don’t know,” Jane admitted, leaning her head against Meredith’s sturdy shoulders. “You wouldn’t really have sex with boy-me, would you?”
“It would be a unique scientific experiment,” she said, “but no, of course not. The boy version of me, though…”
Jane laughed and kissed her. “Not a chance, McKay.”
THE END
Current Mood:
mellow
Author: Ami Ven
Rating: G
Word Count:
Prompt: mcsheplets challenge 257 ‘unscheduled offworld activation’
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Pairing(s): John Sheppard/Rodney McKay
Summary: “I am Colonel Sheppard.” - “That’s funny. So am I.”
Jane & Meredith
“Unscheduled offworld activation,” came Chuck’s voice, over the city-wide intercom. “Colonel Sheppard to the Control Room.”
Jane had already been on her way there, but she picked up the pace, keying on her radio, “Sheppard here. What have we got?”
“Unusual gate activity, ma’am. Can’t be sure yet.”
“On my way. Sheppard out.”
“Ma’am,” said Chuck, when she arrived a few minutes later. “We’re receiving an IDC.”
“Major Lorne?”
“No, ma’am. Yours.”
Jane frowned. “But I’m here.”
“Yes, we can see that,” said Meredith, barreling into the Control Room and unceremoniously wheeling Chuck’s chair out of her way. “So either someone has duplicated our IDC pattern - which would be bad, let me tell you - or there is another Colonel Sheppard waiting for us to lower the shield - which would be…”
“Right,” said Jane, and leaned over to hit the intercom. “Marine teams four, five and six to the Gate Room. C’mon, McKay.”
Grumbling under her breath, Meredith followed her down the stairs, just as the shield flickered out of existence and two people stepped into Atlantis. Both were men, dressed in standard-issue off-world gear and they froze, raising their hands as the Marines surrounded them.
“Whoa, whoa, it’s us,” said the shorter man.
Jane crossed her arms. “Who are you?” she demanded. “How did you get an Atlantis IDC?”
“By being the base commander,” said the other, dark-haired man.
“Try again,” Meredith told him. “Colonel Sheppard is the base commander.”
“I am Colonel Sheppard,” he insisted.
“That’s funny,” drawled Jane. “So am I.”
*
“Oh, that is so not fair,” grumbled Meredith, after the test results had come back, verifying within a degree of medical certainty that their unexpected visitors were male versions of Jane and Meredith. “How do you get to be just as hot as a man as you are as a woman?”
“What?” said Jane.
“Look at him,” the scientist said, gesturing vaguely at the other side of the infirmary. “With the hair and the slouching. And boy-me looks like… that.”
The other McKay - also named Meredith, but who went by their middle name, Rodney - was arguing with Carson, hands moving wildly. Privately, Jane thought he looked a lot like her Meredith, with the same wide mouth and brilliant blue eyes. He seemed a bit more solidly-built, without her generous curves, but his voice had the same cadence as hers, especially when he was upset.
“What?” Jane repeated. “He looks fine.”
“Fine,” scoffed Meredith. “Says the woman who worked as a model in college.”
“My roommate was an art major,” the colonel protested, scowling across the infirmary at her alternate self.
His universe’s version of their parents had named him John, and now that Jane knew he was supposed to be her, she could see the similarities. They were both tall and slim, but he looked more lean than flat-chested, like Jane did. His hair was short, like hers, and seemed just as unruly - and looking at John, she thought maybe her ears were ‘freakishly pointy’ the way Meredith often said.
“Colonel Sheppard?” called Carson, and Jane tugged Meredith over to them. “They check out just fine. Could do with some food, both of them, but otherwise, they’re all yours.”
Jane nodded. “Thanks, Carson. You boys hungry?”
“Finally!” said Rodney. “We’ve been here for hours-”
“It’s been forty-five minutes,” said John.
“-and I could go into hyperglycemic shock any second.”
Meredith snorted. “If you are boy-me, you’ve got plenty of time.”
“Still,” said Jane, shooting her a ‘play-nice’ look. “C’mon, gentlemen, the mess hall’s this way…”
Meredith and Rodney spent the entire meal comparing resumes, arguing about physics and trying to one-up each other with stories of all the times they’d saved the day. Jane was quiet, listening to them talk - and when she looked over at John, he was doing the same, with the same goofy smile on his face.
“So,” she said, softly. “Sheppard and McKay, huh?”
He looked startled for a moment, then ducked his head, smiling. “Yeah. He’s just…”
“Yeah,” Jane repeated. “Yeah, me, too.”
John snorted a laugh. “It’s like a universal constant. But half the time, it doesn’t make any kind of sense.”
“That sounds about right,” she agreed.
“…and Sheppard would agree with me,” said Meredith, suddenly.
“About what, Mer?” said Jane.
“It’s a fascinating scientific opportunity! I mean, tell me you’re not curious to know what you’re really like in bed.”
“I promise you, I have never wondered that,” said Jane. “And you are not going to find out.”
“Sheppard,” she protested.
“Three words, Mer - forsaking all others.”
Meredith waved a dismissing hand. “That wouldn’t count, he’s me.”
“And for that matter,” added Rodney, “it would go both ways. We could-”
“No, McKay,” said John. “There is no way in hell we’re playing interdimensional Wife Swap.”
“Technically, we can’t swap wives,” said Merideth. “Since the only wives in this scenario are married to each other.”
“Oh, my god,” muttered Jane, pushing back her chair. “That’s it. Mer, go see if Radek has anything on the gate malfunction. I’ll see you guys to the guest quarters, and tomorrow we can pretend this conversation never happened.”
“Agreed,” said John. “Let’s go, Rodney.”
Meredith hesitated when Jane passed her chair. “I didn’t mean…” she began.
“I know,” said Jane, and kissed her briefly, before nudging her wife in the direction of the door. “I’ll come to your lab in a few.”
“Sure,” said Meredith, and left.
“I would apologize for that,” said Jane, leading the two men out into a different corridor. “But you probably understand better than anyone else.”
John smiled. “I guarantee you that Rodney was thinking the same thing, he just figured it would make him sound like a creep to say it first.”
“You were both thinking the same, just keep trying to deny it,” said Rodney.
“I wasn’t,” John protested, then added, softly, “No offence, it’s just… you look like Mom.”
Jane blinked. “I don’t… Really?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Now I kinda understand why Dad and I had so many problems.”
“Oh,” said Jane. She felt a little light-headed as she said goodnight and headed straight for Meredith’s lab. “Hey.”
“Radek has a few leads,” said Meredith, without looking up from her laptop. “We’re running some simulations, before we know any… Are you okay?”
“I don’t know,” Jane admitted, leaning her head against Meredith’s sturdy shoulders. “You wouldn’t really have sex with boy-me, would you?”
“It would be a unique scientific experiment,” she said, “but no, of course not. The boy version of me, though…”
Jane laughed and kissed her. “Not a chance, McKay.”
THE END
Current Mood:
mellow