its testing the strong ones.
I'm sitting here just thinking about the day ahead of me and I'm not so sure how I'm going to handle it. Only 3 weeks ago my family buried a woman none of us wanted to ever have to say goodbye to and now I'm finding myself doing it all again with another woman I love and respect. I don't think the realization of it all has hit me yet, and I think that today will be the day it does. When I see her laying there...that will be when it hits me. And we aren't burying my grandmother right away due to some issues with the death, there must be an autopsy and since they didn't know that until yesterday, they want her body there for the services today at 2-4 and 7-9 and tomorrow at the funeral at 2, so instead of burying her right after the funeral we will have to bury her later as well.
I have this thing where I seem so strong and I can hold it all together so well. But people don't see me in my car or when I'm taking a shower and I just breakdown. And I don't know how to explain why I save all of that for when I'm alone, but I guess I don't like to look like I'm weak and can't handle my emotions, but when it comes right down to it, I'm worse than a crying baby. I find myself listening to two songs over and over again...Hear you me by Jimmy Eat World and When I Get Where I'm Going by Brad Paisley. 4 and a half months ago those songs helped me through and hopefully once again they will.
Besides those songs helping me through, I have an amazing family and some amazing friends. In the last three days and also in the last 4 months I've found out, who exactly the people I want to be spending my time with are, and I know who truly honestly cares. And I don't know if any of my friends understand my appreciation for there thoughts and prayers and I don't even know how to describe how grateful and blessed I feel to have each and every one of them. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.
I have this thing where I seem so strong and I can hold it all together so well. But people don't see me in my car or when I'm taking a shower and I just breakdown. And I don't know how to explain why I save all of that for when I'm alone, but I guess I don't like to look like I'm weak and can't handle my emotions, but when it comes right down to it, I'm worse than a crying baby. I find myself listening to two songs over and over again...Hear you me by Jimmy Eat World and When I Get Where I'm Going by Brad Paisley. 4 and a half months ago those songs helped me through and hopefully once again they will.
Besides those songs helping me through, I have an amazing family and some amazing friends. In the last three days and also in the last 4 months I've found out, who exactly the people I want to be spending my time with are, and I know who truly honestly cares. And I don't know if any of my friends understand my appreciation for there thoughts and prayers and I don't even know how to describe how grateful and blessed I feel to have each and every one of them. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.