(no subject)
from March 6th
It's days like today that really make me think. I don't know why, it's just like I can't focus on anything; school, people talking to me, anything. The only thing I can focus on is trying to figure out where everything went wrong. And what I did. Not anyone else, but me, what did I do? I mean it obviously had to be something, things like this don't happen because of nothing. Or do they? See I don't know. That's the problem. I'm one of these people that likes to make people happy...a people pleaser if you will. And if for some reason someone is not happy, especially with me, I feel as though it must have been something that I did. Because really...what else could it be? But in the actual sense of everything, it could be a million different things that have nothing to do with me, yet I still come back to the constant thoughts of what did I do wrong? I'd just like answers. Thats all, I don't think its asking for much, but it seems to be like its asking for the world. I don't know, this is just random babble on my part. Just trying to figure things out in my head ya know?
Things that really make me happy lately (note: sarcasm) my car needing a new water pump. That was pretty fricken sweet. Um these headaches which are seriously the worst thing ever. I just want to sleep every time I get one, because the only thing that makes me feel better is darkness and quietness. Um also the fact that I'm 4 weeks into a group marketing project and just found out yesterday we have to do a new business....pretty fricken awesome...get to change EVERYTHING we've already done. Sweet yo. And also, not knowing. Being confused. Losing people I care about. I think thats the list.
But for real though, things that really do make me happy and make me smile (NO sarcasm):Elizabeth Mae- seriously the cutest baby ever and I just want to bring her home with me all the time. My friends. Calling 411 for information, and not getting anywhere. A new colorful SPRING purse! The gym. My boys at the gym. Ice cream. Working with Mary. My family. Honesty. The Spill Canvas and The Fray. The fact that spring break is 4 days away. Road trips. Fun music. And hopefully the fact that you can actually work things out with people, I'm really praying on this one.
And thats all, time to get to work!
It's days like today that really make me think. I don't know why, it's just like I can't focus on anything; school, people talking to me, anything. The only thing I can focus on is trying to figure out where everything went wrong. And what I did. Not anyone else, but me, what did I do? I mean it obviously had to be something, things like this don't happen because of nothing. Or do they? See I don't know. That's the problem. I'm one of these people that likes to make people happy...a people pleaser if you will. And if for some reason someone is not happy, especially with me, I feel as though it must have been something that I did. Because really...what else could it be? But in the actual sense of everything, it could be a million different things that have nothing to do with me, yet I still come back to the constant thoughts of what did I do wrong? I'd just like answers. Thats all, I don't think its asking for much, but it seems to be like its asking for the world. I don't know, this is just random babble on my part. Just trying to figure things out in my head ya know?
Things that really make me happy lately (note: sarcasm) my car needing a new water pump. That was pretty fricken sweet. Um these headaches which are seriously the worst thing ever. I just want to sleep every time I get one, because the only thing that makes me feel better is darkness and quietness. Um also the fact that I'm 4 weeks into a group marketing project and just found out yesterday we have to do a new business....pretty fricken awesome...get to change EVERYTHING we've already done. Sweet yo. And also, not knowing. Being confused. Losing people I care about. I think thats the list.
But for real though, things that really do make me happy and make me smile (NO sarcasm):Elizabeth Mae- seriously the cutest baby ever and I just want to bring her home with me all the time. My friends. Calling 411 for information, and not getting anywhere. A new colorful SPRING purse! The gym. My boys at the gym. Ice cream. Working with Mary. My family. Honesty. The Spill Canvas and The Fray. The fact that spring break is 4 days away. Road trips. Fun music. And hopefully the fact that you can actually work things out with people, I'm really praying on this one.
And thats all, time to get to work!