Are you a Cyberpopulite?
I'm amazed at cyber space's power to alter or sometimes, completely change the definitions to some of life's most dear situations. For example, have you noticed that popularity is no longer just a competition between the hottest and coolest kids in school? that's it's more than who has the biggest boobs in the seventh grade? (I won that hands down, of course). and that's it's more than who has the hippest and trendiest accessories? Well if you haven't noticed, go back to 1995. For the rest of us, we see the idea of popularity on a whole different level, thanks to cybering and internet land of course.
Popularity has transformed into much more than trivial things. Oh yes, it is now a competition over who recieves the most im's after returning from away, or for the real popular, who recieves the most im's just by returning from a state of idleness. And the recent innovation, FACEBOOK, proves my theory correct, yet again. I mean come on, you are not even close to "cool" unless you've recieved at least one poke a day, give yourself a point if poked by a stranger. And forget about winning the popularity contest unless you average at least 4 friend requests a week, regardless that 95% of these people requesting facebook friendship are people you don't give a fuck about in real life. Don't even think about categorizing yourself as popular if you request to be someone's friend. I don't care if you noticed your old bestfriend from 4th grade joined facebook, rule #1 of being and maintaining cyberpopulite status is NEVER EVER REQUEST TO BE SOMEONES FRIEND! NEVER!
Oh...oh...and OH! hell fucking no are you that sweet unless you belong to at least 3 groups like "your college sexiest female with the perkiest rack and the tightest ass group," "I'm hotter, sexier, and more fuckable than you group," or my favorite, "bitch, they asked me to be in the hot girls' group" (even though we all know you requested this group membership after you made a drunk-kissy, fucking annoying Zoolander whore face with a hooknasty top on). If these qualifications don't apply, then clearly, you're just not popular/cool/sexy/awesome/etc., so do us all a favor and jump off a bridge. just disappear.
Hail to the cyberpopulites everywhere!