Been a while...Strange changes, for me anyways...
Haven't really posted here in a long while. Been having so many varied thoughts about things since my birthday, and no idea how to put them down in words like I used to. But maybe today I'll try.
I've been going on a few first dates since my birthday, and since signing up to plentyoffish.com. I've met three new people, been stood up once, and may be meeting a few more soon. It feels strange, this whole meeting new people thing. Suddenly, it seems, I've been come...desirable? Me? The one who hasn't been on a date, or anything even resembling a date in years? Like I said, it feels strange. I have no idea where any of this will lead to, and I'm not all bummed out like I used to get if something doesn't quite work. I'm not complaining - not by any means. Just after being in a long-term rut for so long, all this new attention has caught me way off guard. Go figure.
One of the people I've met mentioned during our first meeting that I ought to try doing stand-up comedy, since he and I went back and forth with comments and such, and had him laughing and contemplating things from my slightly skewed perception. I've actually been told that before, to try stand-up, by various people over the last few years. But I went down to an open mic night this past Monday, and knew there was no way I could do that. What I do is banter, and feed off of others' words or actions and they feed off me. I self-depreciate, which in one way is wrong, but it's a defense mechanism. I am also a storyteller...a teller of tales. To get up on a stage, cold, and try to make people laugh, and in about 2 minutes...no way. I'll stick to what I do, and how I do it.
I think I've almost beaten an old habit of nailbiting. I've been trying to grow my nails out for the last 2 months-ish. It feels strange having nails after never letting them really grow, and that feeling of having something stuck under my nails...gah! Still getting used to that. Also getting used to wearing nail polish. It's like I'm becoming more girly or something. Jeez, when the hell did that happen...?
The idea of going to the bar to see everyone is starting to grate on me again. It's not the first time this has happened, but the sour feeling of going to that drama-laden hole is stronger than it has been. It's sad, really. Isn't there a Friday or Saturday night where friends can go out for an ENTIRE evening, and not ONCE set foot in that place? The thing that hurts is that I've had a lot of people agree with me, but oh surprise-surprise, guess where they wind up? I remember last summer, putting out word earlier in the week of wanting to gather people and go up to Hampton Beach on a Friday or Saturday night and spending the evening there, and not getting a single response...because everyone went to the bar instead. Is drinking alcohol and getting buzzed or drunk THAT important, so much so that you can't break routine for even ONE night? I'd like to get a bunch of people together and hit Fire + Ice down in Harvard Square. It'd be a cool change from the same boring routine, and be FUN do to something different!! But, guaranteed, no one will want to go, and come up with some lame-ass reason - too expensive (bullshit - you'd actually spend LESS money than you would on the booze you'd be drinking!!! And FYI, it's only $16.95 per person at Fire + Ice, and it's all you can eat!!), too long of a drive (what a hackneyed answer!!), blah blah, wahh wahh waaahh...
I can't handle another stagnant summer. The beach, the movies, dinner at some NEW places other than Denny's... c'mon!!! Something, ANYTHING, other than the bar, or any other bar.
I've been going on a few first dates since my birthday, and since signing up to plentyoffish.com. I've met three new people, been stood up once, and may be meeting a few more soon. It feels strange, this whole meeting new people thing. Suddenly, it seems, I've been come...desirable? Me? The one who hasn't been on a date, or anything even resembling a date in years? Like I said, it feels strange. I have no idea where any of this will lead to, and I'm not all bummed out like I used to get if something doesn't quite work. I'm not complaining - not by any means. Just after being in a long-term rut for so long, all this new attention has caught me way off guard. Go figure.
One of the people I've met mentioned during our first meeting that I ought to try doing stand-up comedy, since he and I went back and forth with comments and such, and had him laughing and contemplating things from my slightly skewed perception. I've actually been told that before, to try stand-up, by various people over the last few years. But I went down to an open mic night this past Monday, and knew there was no way I could do that. What I do is banter, and feed off of others' words or actions and they feed off me. I self-depreciate, which in one way is wrong, but it's a defense mechanism. I am also a storyteller...a teller of tales. To get up on a stage, cold, and try to make people laugh, and in about 2 minutes...no way. I'll stick to what I do, and how I do it.
I think I've almost beaten an old habit of nailbiting. I've been trying to grow my nails out for the last 2 months-ish. It feels strange having nails after never letting them really grow, and that feeling of having something stuck under my nails...gah! Still getting used to that. Also getting used to wearing nail polish. It's like I'm becoming more girly or something. Jeez, when the hell did that happen...?
The idea of going to the bar to see everyone is starting to grate on me again. It's not the first time this has happened, but the sour feeling of going to that drama-laden hole is stronger than it has been. It's sad, really. Isn't there a Friday or Saturday night where friends can go out for an ENTIRE evening, and not ONCE set foot in that place? The thing that hurts is that I've had a lot of people agree with me, but oh surprise-surprise, guess where they wind up? I remember last summer, putting out word earlier in the week of wanting to gather people and go up to Hampton Beach on a Friday or Saturday night and spending the evening there, and not getting a single response...because everyone went to the bar instead. Is drinking alcohol and getting buzzed or drunk THAT important, so much so that you can't break routine for even ONE night? I'd like to get a bunch of people together and hit Fire + Ice down in Harvard Square. It'd be a cool change from the same boring routine, and be FUN do to something different!! But, guaranteed, no one will want to go, and come up with some lame-ass reason - too expensive (bullshit - you'd actually spend LESS money than you would on the booze you'd be drinking!!! And FYI, it's only $16.95 per person at Fire + Ice, and it's all you can eat!!), too long of a drive (what a hackneyed answer!!), blah blah, wahh wahh waaahh...
I can't handle another stagnant summer. The beach, the movies, dinner at some NEW places other than Denny's... c'mon!!! Something, ANYTHING, other than the bar, or any other bar.