so.... i'm confused....
First and foremost, my gran has cancer, its quite late stages, there's not much that can b done and (all being well) i'm leaving for LA mid august.... but that in all likely hood will b the last time i ever see her. I'm beginning to feel more guilty every second... what will I do? If she dies will I fly back? I can't afford to...can my parents afford to? Should I even go? Mum and Dad need all the support and help they can get atm and yeah when Uni starts I'll b in Wales, but thats a lot closer and I won't be leaving until the end of September...
I want to go to LA and I know she wants me to g too... its just that bit of doubt nagging at me telling me I'm selfish.
I'm doubly selfish atm for stringing Ricky along, cause essentially thats what I'm doing. He's not the one who I wake up or fall asleep thinking about. I don't love him anymore and it's not his fault, it's mine. I want Tom... and yes, its probably just a phase but we click so much more than Ricky and I do. Oh I'm so confused, I can't even be arsed typing about it anymore. I'm in a big hole.... and its just a matter of time before all the walls fall in on top of me.
Hurray for karma!
I want to go to LA and I know she wants me to g too... its just that bit of doubt nagging at me telling me I'm selfish.
I'm doubly selfish atm for stringing Ricky along, cause essentially thats what I'm doing. He's not the one who I wake up or fall asleep thinking about. I don't love him anymore and it's not his fault, it's mine. I want Tom... and yes, its probably just a phase but we click so much more than Ricky and I do. Oh I'm so confused, I can't even be arsed typing about it anymore. I'm in a big hole.... and its just a matter of time before all the walls fall in on top of me.
Hurray for karma!