slow me down
never had a song been this close to echoing the hidden secrets of my life...it's a beautiful song, not just because of the ethereal voice of emmy rossum, but more significantly (for me that is) because of how simply and how honestly the lyrics express emmy's own inner turmoils.
Rushing and racing and running in circles
Moving so fast I'm forgetting my purpose
Blur of the traffic is sending me spinning
Getting nowhere
My head and my heart are colliding chaotic
Pace of the world I just wish I could stop it
Try to appear like I've got it together
I'm falling apart
im sure that many of my batchmates would agree when i say that time seems to be running in hyperspeed lately. parang kelan lang, kakasimula lang natin ng college...mga mukha at ugaling highschool pa tayo nun. marami satin ang nanonood pa noon ng cartoons, disney movies, at anime. actually, marami pa rin namang nanonood ng mga ganun ngaun. ako, aminado ako na ang isa sa mga sinusubaybayan kong palabas sa tv is phineas and ferb sa disney channel.
back then, i've always thought back then that i have plenty of time to enjoy and make the most of my college life. i have FOUR YEARS and back then i thought it was a lot of time. but now that i pause and allow reality to sink in, i realized that those four years are almost up and i'd soon be graduating. (in a little over a month, i might add...) everything is happening so fast. parang kakasimula lang ng fourth year. parang kelan lang, gumagawa pa kami ng thesis. parang kelan lang ung first night duty namin sa female surgery ward...parang kahapon lang ung nursing week, our last paskuhan, our last class picture. ilang days na lang, final examinations na and immediately after that, we'll have to go through the grueling clearances and finishing our requirements and PRAYING TO GOD ALMIGHTY NA SANA DUMAMI ANG MANGANAK IN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS PARA MAKUMPLETO NA NAMIN ANG DR CASES NAMIN!
Save me
Somebody take my hand and lead me
Slow me down
Don't let love pass me by
Just show me how
Cause I'm ready to fall
Slow me down
Don't let me live a lie
Before my life flies by
I need you to slow me down
Ang bilis ng mga pangyayari. pero ang pinakamabilis sa lahat is ung processing ng visa ko. imagine, we submitted my application for interview just this monday. tapos wala pang one week, hala, may sched na ako agad ng interview. at hindi lang basta sched, in TWO WEEKS time, haharap nako sa isang taong hindi ko kilala at kukumbinsihin ko cia na kailangan nia akong bigyan ng visa dahil wala ng trabaho for nurses dito sa pilipinas. i mean, let's not kid ourselves...nung nagjob fair nga, grabe! there were two hospitals na kasama, pero isa lang naman ung may opening for nurses...eh saan naman kaya kami mag-aapply? sa call centers? sa jolibee? sa kumpanyang namimigay ng libreng usb? hahaha...kumusta naman ang kapalaran ng nurses dito sa pilipinas?
Sometimes I fear that I might disappear
In the blur of fast forward I falter again
Forgetting to breathe
I need to sleep
I'm getting nowhere
WALA!!! WALA TALAGA KAMING PAG-ASANG YUMAMAN DITO...NOT UNLESS SESWERTEHIN KAMI SA LOTTO. (grabe, ang swerte nung dalawang nanalo na un. alam mo,kahit 2 silang maghahati, ok lang kasi malaki naman ang paghahatian nila. gosh, ang sarap siguro na makakuha ng ganung kalaking money ng walang kahirap hirap. pag nanalo ka sa lotto, para ka lang binigyan ng super laking allowance ng magulang mo. grabe talaga.)
then before i know it, i'd be marching in the carpetted floor of PICC for our graduation (assuming na papasa ako sa polsci...pesteng polsci talaga toh!!! feelingerang major!) and soon enough, we'd be drilled into a relentless review program to pursue the goal of a 100%passing in the nursing board exams. aarrghhh, expectations!
expectations make me feel itchy all over. weird...
kaya nga ito ang bagong lss ko ngaun...
slow me down by emmy rossum
it's nice to know na hindi lang pala ako ang nakakaramdam na naghahyperspeed ang life once in a while. siguro normal phase un na pagdadaanan ng lahat ng tao. actually, feel ko nga, luging lugi na ako sa time. those who are close to me know that i was accelerated from childhood to adulthood. hahaha...no joke...nilaktawan ko ang normal developmental stage ng adolescence so that i could be a mother figure to my younger siblings, or my kidz as i fondly call them. im not really regretting the choices i made, nor do i feel bitter that i've missed out on what might have been the most exciting and most ehr, youthful part of life.
All that I've missed I see in the reflection
Pass me while I wasn't paying attention
Tired of rushing, racing and running
I'm falling apart
nagpakalatebloomer na lang ako. nakikisabay na lang ako ngaun sa adolescent phase ng mga kapatid kong high school. hahaha...alam ko na wala na ako sa age bracket ng adolescent...eh bakit ba...late bloomer nga eh. better late than never diba? at least, naeexperience ko na cia ngaun. mejo weird nga lang kasi halos lahat ng friends ko eh lumampas na sa stage na toh, tapos ako, ngaun pa lang nagsisimula. hahaha...ang warped ng time frame ng buhay ko.
Tell me
Oh won't you take my hand and lead me
Slow me down
Don't let love pass me by
Just show me how
Cause I'm ready to fall
Slow me down
Don't let me live a lie
Before my life flies by
I need you to slow me down
oh well, mangyayari naman ang lahat ng bagay in god's plan and in His perfect time. siguro, what might be fast for me is just the right speed for His plan to work. sometimes, all it takes is faith na rin, to believe that everything happens for a reason, and that god would never lead us to anything detrimental or doom-ish. sometimes, the greatest test of faith is ung maniniwala at magtitiwala ka ng buong buo kahit na in the dark ka sa lahat ng plans Nia for you. siguro, it's just my human imperfections craving for someone to slow me down, kasi lahat ata ng tao, ayaw madaliin ang buhay nila kasi we all have desires to live forever, or maybe just long enough to experience life in its fullness. oh well...whatever. this is just me and my brains overreading and overanalyzing yet again.
The noise of the world is getting me caught up
Chasing the clock and I wish I could stop it
Just need to breathe
Somebody please
Slow me down
can somebody please help my brain find a new hobby! feel ko nabubwisit na sakin ung mga kaclose ko dahil sa overanalyzing compulsions ng utak ko eh...desperate thinker speaking here! thanks.