wow... while i was stressing out life got good...
really good.
take tonight for instance.
i spent the day cleaning which made me feel a sense of accomplishment and i took care of some bills. after i was done getting all of that out of the way i went to yoga with a couple of my friends and really pushed myself. i found the edge of my comfort zone and i kept pushing myself just a bit further and- it felt wonderful! i just let my mind stop for a few moments and feel the connection between myself and the earth and... and it was bliss. it was a brief time that was just for me and was filled with what i put into it. all i felt was complete quietude and peace.
after class we all soaked in the spa for a bit and then sash and i came home and watched the oc. we just kicked back on the sofa and RELAXED. oh my god it was heaven. to not think about my fucked up family or the wedding... i'm still basking in the happiness. so now i am sitting here with some soy "chicken" and some barbeque sauce and still just not really thinking about anything negative.
and as crazy as the past few years have been i finally feel like i'm starting to see the bigger picture. it was a long and twisted road to get where i am today but i'm so glad i took it. because i'm in such a good place when i really think about it. i have some fantastic friends who don't only support me but challenge me to grow and look at myself. my family is crazy but i'm learning to finally take a step back a disentangle myself from all of the drama and bullshit. i feel very- - - secure. i feel sure of myself and what i'm doing and just very strong.
what a nice place to be! especially when i compare the person i have become to the me of four years ago.
well, i think i'm going to go and do something productive. or maybe just fun...
take tonight for instance.
i spent the day cleaning which made me feel a sense of accomplishment and i took care of some bills. after i was done getting all of that out of the way i went to yoga with a couple of my friends and really pushed myself. i found the edge of my comfort zone and i kept pushing myself just a bit further and- it felt wonderful! i just let my mind stop for a few moments and feel the connection between myself and the earth and... and it was bliss. it was a brief time that was just for me and was filled with what i put into it. all i felt was complete quietude and peace.
after class we all soaked in the spa for a bit and then sash and i came home and watched the oc. we just kicked back on the sofa and RELAXED. oh my god it was heaven. to not think about my fucked up family or the wedding... i'm still basking in the happiness. so now i am sitting here with some soy "chicken" and some barbeque sauce and still just not really thinking about anything negative.
and as crazy as the past few years have been i finally feel like i'm starting to see the bigger picture. it was a long and twisted road to get where i am today but i'm so glad i took it. because i'm in such a good place when i really think about it. i have some fantastic friends who don't only support me but challenge me to grow and look at myself. my family is crazy but i'm learning to finally take a step back a disentangle myself from all of the drama and bullshit. i feel very- - - secure. i feel sure of myself and what i'm doing and just very strong.
what a nice place to be! especially when i compare the person i have become to the me of four years ago.
well, i think i'm going to go and do something productive. or maybe just fun...