Fic: Give Me a Hand (Part 1)
Title: Give Me a Hand
Words: About 13,900
Characters: Ianto/Jack, Ianto/Lisa
Rating: NC-17
Warning: None.
Spoilers: TW Season 2
Summary: Ianto has a chance to rewrite the past, but it isn't as easy as he thinks.
Beta: Thanks to kahtyasofia for the fantastic beta :D
Author's Notes: Posted in two parts, but this is a one shot and it is complete. And I won't apologize for the title. I like puns. They amuse me, even bad ones.
Disclaimer: Really, I don't own anything. I don't even own my car.
The hub was never really quiet, and Ianto was often grateful for that. The buzz of the generators, the unique hum of the rift manipulator, and the occasional squawk from Myfawny's nest gave the hub an undercurrent of life even at its loneliest moments. Ianto understood why Jack liked it here late at night because he, too, appreciated the hub's subtle energy. It was part of the reason why he found himself lingering tonight even though Gwen had long gone home and Jack had left on an errand without promising when he'd return. Ianto told himself that he was waiting for Jack, but he knew that he could've waited for him just as easily at his flat. He simply preferred the comfort of the hub.
Ianto found himself down in the storerooms working through the backlog of archives. It seemed like a never-ending task. Every time he thought he was getting close to finishing, Jack would casually mention another room filled with boxes and files. Ianto would always give him a disapproving frown and Jack would just act surprised that Ianto didn't already know about it. Ianto hated to think how they ever managed to find anything through the eighties and nineties. It was just about the time they got computers that their filing system went to hell. Jack claimed he knew where everything was, but Ianto was highly sceptical of that. After all, this was the same man that couldn't even remember where he put his car keys two minutes after he set them down.
Three days ago Jack had said something about a room on sub-level six. Ianto was now surveying said room trying to get an idea of how bad the damage was. As he looked around he decided it was no better or worse than anything he'd dealt with before, and he was grateful that someone at least had the foresight to create pathways between the stacks of boxes and files for easy access. Two boxes near the door caught his eye. They were both labelled and dated in Tosh's messy scrawl. 'I. Jones' Flat' he read as he draw near them. Ianto stared at the date. He knew it. It was the day that Lisa died. Not Canary Warf but the day Jack shot her.
Ianto had known that the team had searched his flat, but he'd never really thought about what had happened to everything that they'd taken. He’d never cared to know. There was nothing they had taken that he wanted. It was all just bits of alien tech that he'd scavenged from Torchwood London when it burned. Things that he'd thought might help him save Lisa. Once she died he had no use for any of it.
On top of one of the boxes was a case file. Ianto could only assume the contents of the report. Part of him thought it might be best to leave well enough alone, but another part of him was curious to see exactly what Jack had written. As he reached out for the file he justified his curiosity by telling himself that Jack knew this was here and he knew Ianto would find it. His stomach twisted unpleasantly as he noted a smudge of dried blood on the outside of the file folder before he flipped it open.
What Ianto found inside was not what he was expecting at all. Instead of a detailed report on the events of the night of Lisa's death, he found a half completed case report on an artefact. Artefact #tw32006323-A84 to be exact. It was dated the same night as Lisa's death and signed by Jack. Ianto read:
Artefact originally recovered by S. Costello on 23/3/06 see field report #tw32006323-FR84. No conclusion was reached as to the nature of the artefact. Artefact went missing mysteriously from S. Costello's desk on 25/3/06, see incident report #tw32006325-IR32. Artefact was recovered during the search of I. Jones' flat on the date of this report. He will be questioned as to how he acquired the artefact at an appropriate time. Case remains open.
Ianto read the report twice before closing the file. He wondered why Jack hadn't ever bothered to question him about the artefact (not that Ianto was even sure which artefact it was). Perhaps Jack had just forgotten? Or maybe he'd left it here intentionally for Ianto to find? Ianto figured there was one way to find out. He could just locate the artefact and put it and the case file on Jack's desk with a note asking him if he wanted to follow up. Ianto smiled at the idea, he was pretty sure that Jack would be squirming by the end of the conversation no matter what his intent had been.
Ianto lifted the lid of the top box and sitting there neatly, as if it had been the last thing packed, was an evidence bag with the matching artefact number on it. He picked up the bag and frowned at the contents. He'd been expecting to find some random bit of alien technology that he'd stolen from London, but instead it was a familiar silver disk. It was the only thing that he hadn't actually taken from Torchwood. He opened the bag and let the shiny object fall neatly into the palm of his hand. It felt warm even though the air in the storeroom was cold. He remembered how it had always felt warm to the touch. He had never known what it really was, but he'd always known that it was dangerous.
He closed his eyes, rethinking his plan of turning it over to Jack. Of course Ianto would have tell him, he just didn't know exactly how to explain. He carelessly flipped the small disk over in his hand trying to think through the situation. Then suddenly, the artefact did something that, in all the time Ianto had possessed it, it had never done. It got hot; very hot. Ianto looked down at it and the disk was glowing white. By the time it occurred to him that he should let go, it was too late. There was a bright flash, and then nothing but blackness.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When Ianto awoke, the only thing he could process was that he felt so warm and comfortable in his bed that he didn't want to ever move. He lay still with his eyes closed as he tried to push the grogginess out of his brain. He could hear Jack in the bathroom fiddling around. The smell of coffee brewing in the next room met his nose. There was another smell too. It was familiar, a sweet safe smell that made him think of home. No, not home; Lisa. It was this thought that made his eyes shoot open.
Ianto slowly looked around. His mouth fell open in surprise, and suddenly he was feeling very alert. He was in his flat, but not his flat in Cardiff. The flat he had shared with Lisa in London. His eyes surveyed the room noting that everything was exactly the way he remembered it. From the rickety old wardrobe that Lisa had always claimed had character, to the purple quilt that Ianto had always insisted was too girly for him to sleep under. He had to be dreaming. This couldn't be real.
There was a soft thud from the bathroom and this prompted Ianto to slip out of bed. He slowly moved out of the bedroom, away from the noise, and into the living room. Here, like the bedroom, everything was exactly the way Ianto remembered it being. Photos of Lisa and him lined the bookshelf, and Lisa's favourite coat hung off the back of a barstool near the kitchen. The lounge furniture that decorated the room was same set that he had brought with him to Cardiff. The only difference was now it looked a bit less worn. The armchair caught his eye and he noted that it was missing the stain where Jack had spilt his curry a few months back. His heart was racing, and he tried to figure out what was going on. The last thing he could remember he had been in the hub... that artefact! What had it done to him?
Ianto noticed his diary careless dropped on the floor next to the sofa. It was the only thing that seemed out of place. He walked over, picked it up and quickly flipped through the pages looking for his last entry. The page was dated March 22, 2006, and he had written, 'Amy's birthday party...' Lisa had put in her loopy cursive underneath, 'The margaritas were divine!!!' Ianto had then added, 'A bit too divine, apparently.' Lisa replied, 'Put your damn diary away, and I'll show you what's divine!'
It'd been years ago but Ianto still recalled that night. He and Lisa had come home from Amy's party tipsy. They'd collapsed on the sofa together, laughing as they wrestled for control of his diary. It'd ultimately had been left forgotten on the floor when they decided there were much more interesting games they could be playing in the bedroom. That'd been so long ago. Back when he was living a different life.
Ianto looked around the flat again, then closed his eyes, as if pretending it wasn't there would make it go away. When he opened his eyes again to find that he hadn't been magically transported back to the hub he just sighed and sat down the sofa. He flipped through the pages of his diary some more. He looked for all the other entries that should've been there, but the pages were just blank. Only then did he notice the skin on his forearm; it was smooth and unmarred. He blinked in disbelief. There should be a scar. A Weevil had gotten him good about six month ago and the mark never completely vanished. Now there was no trace of it. Ianto slowly ran his fingers over the spot almost like he expected it to feel different, but it didn't.
"It's that bloody silver disk," he mumbled to himself. He had a sick feeling in his stomach as he began to truly understand what had happened.
A thought suddenly occurred to him and he dropped the diary onto the floor and went back into the bedroom. Ianto began desperately searching through the blankets and on the floor for the disk. He even crawled under the bed. He only gave up when he found himself searching the same spots for a third and fourth time. Where was it? Why wasn't it here? He curled up on the bed feeling helpless. What was he supposed to do now?
"You had a bit of lie in this morning, love. You better hop in the shower now before you're late for work," said a familiar voice from behind him.
Ianto felt his whole body stiffen. He didn't want to look, but he knew he didn't have choice. He took a deep breath to brace himself, and slowly turned over. He knew Lisa would be there, but he still hadn't been prepared to see her standing so casually in the doorway. It'd been so long. He'd spent so many sleepless nights just trying to picture her face, the sound of her voice and the way she moved. And now there she was back with him again, whole and perfect like none of it had ever happened. It just hasn't happened yet, but it was still going to happen, Ianto silently realized.
"What do I have something on my face?" she asked as she gently brushed her lips with her fingers.
"No," Ianto replied just above a whisper. He knew he was staring, but he couldn't help it.
"Then what-" Lisa began.
Ianto smiled as he cut her off, "It's just... you're so gorgeous."
She cocked an eyebrow at him, "And you're just noticing now?"
"Well, I always suspected..." Ianto began, but Lisa closed the space between them and placed a light kiss on his lips.
"Shower now or you'll be late for work," she said as she pulled away from him.
The brief contact made shivers run down Ianto's spine. She was real. She was here. The small kiss wasn't enough so he reached out and grabbed her hand to pull her down onto the bed next to him. He kissed her deeply, tasting her, feeling her, remembering everything that he'd missed for so long.
"Mmm," Lisa hummed softly when they finally parted. "As much as I hate to protest- we really don't have time for this right now."
"Don't care," Ianto replied before kissing her again, then tracing his lips along the soft skin of her neck, taking in the scent of her perfume.
"You say that now, but later you'll be grouching about how Dr. Smith gave you a hard time for being late."
"I don't grouch," he mumbled against her shoulder as he pushed her dressing gown to the side to expose more skin.
"Right, of course you don't."
Ianto pulled back and looked at her face. She had a smirk on her lips, like it was all a joke to her. Didn't she get it? Of course she didn't get it, she never would. He had a thousand emotions running through him but to her, right now, it was just another day.
"Sorry," he whispered, "I should just go shower." He let go of her and pushed himself off of the bed.
"Ianto?" her voice floated after him.
He turned to look at her and noticed her brow was wrinkled in concern.
"What's gotten into you this morning?" she asked him seriously.
He wanted to say something to make her understand but he knew there was nothing he could do to explain, "I drank too much last night. I'm just feeling off."
She nodded, even though she didn't look completely convinced. Ianto didn't explain further, he just retreated quickly into the safety of the bathroom.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
As Lisa had predicted, Ianto ended up being late for work. Thankfully, Dr. Smith was so engrossed in whatever she was working on that she barely noticed Ianto come in. It was for the best because it'd been years since Ianto had set foot in the lab. Even though his job had been mostly setting up equipment, fetching things, and filling out reports, it still took him a good twenty minutes to orient himself and figure out what he needed to be doing. By the time Dr. Smith finished and even realized he was there he was nearly done tidying the lab from yesterday's activities.
"I want to run more tests on that gravity manipulator. Set it up," she quipped as she bustled past him.
"Of course Doctor," Ianto replied.
He watched her disappear back into her office and just stood there for a moment trying to remember everything he'd need to do. Then, it occurred to him to pull out some of his logs from earlier in the week. They would have enough information in them that he could carry out the set up. Ten minutes later he was back to doing his old job as if no time had gone by at all. At least he was adapting well.
As he hauled a particularly large piece of equipment into place, Ianto wondered how the hell he was going to set this situation right. He couldn't stay like this. That much was certain. It all came back to that silver disk, which of course was nowhere to be found. Jack's report had said that Suzie was going to recover it on a field mission. So that meant the disk was now sitting somewhere in the hub? It wasn't like Ianto could just pop in and ask Jack if he minded if Ianto borrowed some dangerous alien tech. Jack didn't even know who the hell he was...
Ianto started calibrating equipment using his old report as a guide. He huffed at the irony, because there was a time that he had known these calibrations so well that he could have done them in his sleep. Now he needed a cheat sheet.
As he double checked everything, Ianto thought about breaking into the hub. He knew he could do it. Nobody knew more about the hub than he did. Getting into the hub would be easy. The problem would be getting out. He didn't have any security codes for this time period. Ianto couldn't think of single way of breaking into the hub without trigging a lockdown. Without security codes to get himself out, once he got in he'd be trapped. Tosh would've had the technical knowledge of the systems to pull it off, but Ianto wasn't her.
Ianto went through his report for about the tenth time to be sure he'd gotten everything right. He walked around the lab, surveying his own work, slightly impressed with himself that he'd managed to pull it off. Ianto was about to bring the requisition slips into Dr. Smith to sign so he could retrieve a couple necessary items from the archives when there was a commotion in the hall.
"This is unacceptable!" Ianto heard a familiar voice protest. He peered out the door to see none other than Jack standing in the corridor and looking furious. For a brief moment Ianto thought that he'd somehow figured a way to come back and help him. That hope was crushed when Jack spoke again. "I had arrangements with the Director, and now she’s just changing her mind? Where is she? I'm not here to play games with her lackeys."
"Up in the archives sir, but she's very-" explained a well dressed man that Ianto didn't recognize. Jack didn't wait for him to finish, instead he took off with a powerful stride in the direction of the north lifts.
Ianto grabbed his requisition slips and quickly headed in the direction of the south lifts. He hoped he could get up to the archives in time to figure out why Jack was here.
Ianto got upstairs and rounded the corner just in time to see Jack force his way through the main archive door. He quickly followed, flashing his badge at the slightly stunned man guarding the door. He slipped into the room unnoticed by everyone, except Elle, a sweet girl who was responsible for logging the traffic through archives. She looked like a deer in headlights as her eyes flashed from Ianto to the Director and then to Jack.
"Director," Jack said curtly his lips twisting unpleasantly.
"Captain, I wasn't expecting to see you!" Director Hartman said much too pleasantly.
"What is this nonsense about you not releasing the hand to me?" Jack asked evenly.
The hand? What hand? The only hand that Ianto knew Jack would have any interest in was the Doctor's, but Torchwood Three already had that, didn't they? Ianto swallowed hard.
"Surely my assistant explained to you? We recovered the hand so it's ours to do with as we please, and I've decided that it should remain in our archives," the Director explained patiently, as she would to an upset child.
Jack took a deep breath and Ianto knew he was trying to reign in his temper.
"We had an understanding Yvonne, and now that you have what you want you're going back on your word?" he asked calmly, but Ianto could tell that Jack was far from calm.
"I don't recall actually promising you anything Captain. And I said before, Torchwood Three's help last week was greatly appreciated. We here in London will always do what we can to support you when you need it, as well." The way the words rolled off her tongue made her sound like an over practiced politician.
"Then release the hand to me," Jack quietly demanded.
The Director's face fell into a nasty scowl, "No."
Jack lifted his chin defiantly and narrowed his eyes, "You will regret this."
He then turned sharply on his heel and strode out of the room.
The Director looked indignant for only a moment before taking a breath and holding her head high. She looked over at Elle, and then focused on Ianto, "What are you doing here?"
Ianto offered the mint green requisition forms he was holding for her to inspect, but she didn't need to look closely at them to recognize what they were. The only things in the office printed on green paper were the archive requisitions, and everyone knew at single glance what they were by the colour.
"Get on with it then," she snapped as she brushed past him and out the door.
Ianto looked out at the corridor wishing he could go after Jack, but he didn't want to call any attention to himself. So instead he handed his paperwork to Elle.
"That was something..." Elle said, still sounding shocked.
"Yep," Ianto agreed with a small smile.
"Ianto, sorry but these forms aren't signed," she said her voice suddenly back to its normal tone.
"What?" he asked looking down at the forms, and Elle pointed to the spot where Dr. Smith was supposed to authorize them.
"Oh, sorry Elle. Dr. Smith must've forgotten. I should've double checked," Ianto said quickly collecting the forms from her.
"No worries," Elle replied with a grin.
Ianto nodded at her, and headed out into the corridor. He briefly wondered which way Jack had gone. He didn't want to waste anymore time so he quickly took a gamble and headed for the north lifts. He got there just in time to see the doors of the lift start to close.
"Hold the lift," he called and a hand went out to stop the door. As he hurried inside he was relieved to see Jack standing there.
"Sure you don't want to wait for the next one?" Jack asked him with a raised eyebrow.
"No, do you know how bloody slow these lifts are? I may end up waiting till supper time if I did that," Ianto replied hitting the button for his floor.
Ianto eyed Jack, noticing that he looked pretty much the same as ever. He was even wearing his greatcoat. Ianto frowned as he noticed a slight rip in the sleeve. He started to calculate the best way to patch it when he suddenly remembered that it wasn't exactly one of his responsibilities at the moment. And really, as far problems went, that should be the least of his worries.
"I know what you're thinking," Jack said to him.
Ianto lifted an eyebrow at him, "Oh?"
"I know what Yvonne tells you all- that I'm some loose cannon. Torchwood Three might as well be rogue," Jack explained.
"Can't say that I've heard that sir, and too be honest that wasn't even close to what I was thinking," Ianto replied.
"Is that so?" Jack asked looking at Ianto like he'd just found something interesting.
"Yes."
"So what were you thinking, then?"
"I was just admiring your coat," Ianto explained in a matter-of-fact tone.
"My coat?" Jack inquired, as smiled played on his lips.
"It's a very nice coat, sir."
"Thank you," Jack replied with a toothy grin.
"It has a rip though; you may want to get that patched before it gets worse. It'd be a shame to see something so nice ruined."
"Yes, it would be," Jack said, examining the spot on his sleeve that Ianto had pointed out.
"Sir? May I ask you something?" Ianto inquired, knowing that he was entering into dangerous waters.
"What's that?" Jack asked him with an easy smile.
"The hand that you want, what is it?"
Jack sized him up. He must've decided that Ianto's curiosity stemmed out of nothing more than the fight that he'd just witnessed because Jack tilted his head and said, "It's the hand of someone important. Useless really. Well, to anyone but me. The only reason the Director wants to keep it is because she knows I want it."
Ianto nodded in understanding. And Jack had confirmed Ianto's suspicion that it was the Doctor's hand that he was after. Ianto didn't get a chance to ask him anything more, because the lift stopped on his floor.
"Nice meeting you, sir," Ianto said as he moved to leave.
"You too, and I'll see about getting this coat fixed," Jack replied.
"I'd strongly advise that, sir." And with that the doors shut, and Jack was gone.
Ianto’s head was spinning from his meeting with Jack as he collapsed at one of the worktables back in the lab. He'd been trying to come up with a way to break into the hub undetected, and all his meeting with Jack had done was remind him of exactly how dangerous what he was plotting to do actually was. What had he been expecting anyway? For Jack to hand over his security codes to a complete stranger in a lift? Or maybe for him to invite Ianto over for a shag and a look around? Suddenly it hit him; he'd been thinking about this the wrong way. He didn't have the slightest hope of breaking into the hub, but convincing Jack to let him in the front door? That was something he could do.
Ianto’s eyes landed on the sample jars that lined the back wall; the ones specifically designed by Torchwood to hold and monitor alien biological samples. They were all exactly the same as the one that the Doctor's hand was in. Ianto smiled. There probably wasn't anyone who knew more about that hand than Ianto did. Not even Jack. Ianto had spent nearly a year and a half recording the daily readings from the sample jar, dusting it and, on one memorable occasion, detoxifying it when Owen had decided to see if the hand could get drunk by pouring half bottle of vodka into its jar.
As he leaned back in his chair, a plan formed in his mind. Suddenly getting into the hub and retrieving the silver disk almost felt too easy. There’d be a lot factors to consider, but they were all just details. And if there was one thing Ianto knew how to handle, it was details. His only real challenge would be Jack. He sighed. Jack, even at the best times, could be unpredictable.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"You're late getting back," Lisa called as Ianto pushed his way through the door of their flat.
He sighed and dropped the packages he'd picked on his way home on the floor near the door. "Sorry, got held up."
"What's all that?" she asked, coming out of the kitchen. She wore an apron over her work clothes and was gripping a glass of wine. The sight made Ianto’s breath catch. It was so familiar; so ordinary. It was just the way she always was, and that hurt him somehow. He shook his head; not in response to her inquiry, but instead to reject the sight of her.
"It's- it's nothing... some stuff Dr. Smith asked me to pick up." It was lie. He'd asked the man at the shop to wrap the packages in plain paper. People were willing to do just about anything when there was enough cash involved. The whole errand had taken much longer than Ianto had expected.
Lisa raised an eyebrow, "Don't they have couriers for that sort of thing."
"She didn't want to trust it to a courier. It was a one-time thing," Ianto explained.
Lisa nodded and eyed the packages curiously. Ianto watched her, but he knew she would let it go. Torchwood had strict rules about discussing the specifics of projects with anyone not directly involved and Lisa knew the rules. She'd never known exactly what Ianto worked on and he'd never known exactly what she did with her days. They both had a general idea, but they'd never talked about the details. Well, at least not until after Canary Warf.
"Supper's ready. Better hurry before it gets cold," she said before she gave him a small peck on the lips and headed back into the kitchen.
He shrugged off his coat and followed her in, "Smells good."
"Thanks," she replied as she served them both up some pasta and poured Ianto some wine.
Ianto tucked in as he listened to Lisa go on about the latest gossip down in her section. He could barely concentrate on the story as he watched her. He missed this. This ordinary life he had with Lisa. How at the end of each day they would sip wine and eat dinner as they sat too close to each other at the breakfast bar in the kitchen. Lisa would gossip about the people at work and Ianto would make snarky comments. On Saturdays, they would go for walks and wonder around the shops. It wasn't flashy, it was just them, and they were happy.
Part of him started to wonder why he was going to so much trouble to get that stupid silver disk back in the first place. He watched Lisa laugh at her own joke and began think that maybe he should just stay here. He knew when Canary Wharf was going to fall. He could just convince Lisa to skip work that day. They could go to the country together. She would live. They'd get their happily ever after. Lisa deserved a happy life; to grow old.
"...and then they were all eaten by aliens and everyone died."
"Huh?" Ianto asked, blinking at her.
"Are you even listening to me?" Lisa asked, her brow furrowed in annoyance.
"Sorry, I was just thinking about how wonderful you are," he replied with a charming smile, "and the part where they all died was great."
"If I'm so wonderful you should try actually listening to me," she said sipping her wine.
"Your overwhelming beauty stunned me, and I was unable to concentrate on anything else," he said.
She picked up both their plates and gave him a little smile, "I think you should know that flattery will get you everywhere."
He watched as she took the plates and put them in the sink, and he made a decision. Ianto followed her and looped his arms around her waist. He pressed his lips right next to her ear and said softly, "In that case Lisa Hallett. You are the most beautiful, brilliant, kind person I have ever met, and I think I'm the luckiest man in the entire universe to be standing in this kitchen with you at this precise moment. I love you so much that I would change the course of history for you."
"Ianto..." she sighed as she melted back into his arms. He found her lips and when they touched his it was electric. All the need and emotion he'd been feeling gripped him, and he knew she could feel it too.
Lisa turned in his arms and he pressed the length of his body up against her. She felt so good, so delicate and warm. The small noises that she made in the back of her throat just encouraged him. Ianto gripped her hips and pulled her in so she could feel how hard she was making him. Lisa moaned and looked up at him with big brown eyes filled with fire. Ianto swallowed hard, it felt so much better than he remembered, especially when she looked at him like that.
"Come on," she said grabbing his hand pulling him in the direction of the bedroom. He didn't argue. They fell onto the bed, lips locked, while trying to rid each other of their clothes. Ianto laughed as Lisa pulled his vest over his head and messed up his hair. He then playfully tackled her to the bed and relieved her of her bra, which she didn't seem to miss, as she attacked his mouth for another round of kisses. He ran his hands over her body feeling how soft her skin was. Lisa was dark and soft and sweet.
"You're like chocolate," Ianto murmured into her skin as he kissed his way down her body. She arched her back and moaned in approval as he took her nipple into his mouth and rolled it around the way Jack had taught him.
"I'll be whatever you want if you do that again," Lisa breathed.
"What? This?" he asked as he took her other nipple in his mouth.
Lisa’s only response was, "Hell, Ianto."
He laughed and she rolled him over pinned him to the bed. She used her thigh to rub his cock. It was enough pressure to make him squirm, but not nearly enough to give him any relief.
"What should we do now?" she asked with an innocent look on her face.
He scowled and easily rolled them both over so that he was on top of her and the weight of him was holding her in place, "I want you now. Just you..."
Lisa smiled and kissed him.
Ianto reached down and gently slid off her knickers, "Won't be needing these..."
"I should hope not," she replied as she helped him pull of his trousers and pants.
He paused and examined her body, laid out on the bed. She was whole. For a brief moment Ianto had a flash of how she'd looked splayed out in the conversion unit. It wouldn't happen. He wouldn't let it.
"Ianto?"
He looked her in the eye and said seriously, "You are the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen."
Lisa blushed, "You're only supposed to say those things to get me naked, not after I already am."
Ianto shook his head leaned in and captured her lips with his. "I say those things because they're true. Getting you naked is just a sweet bonus."
Lisa laughed as she pressed up against him. Her soft skin warmed him, and he breathed in her scent. Ianto’s cock was throbbing from need, the soft playful touches and the little bit of rubbing Lisa was doing as they kissed was driving him mad.
"You. Now," he said pointedly as he stilled her beneath him and grasped her hips. He positioned his cock and slowly slid into her tight, moist, heat.
Lisa moaned and let her head fall back. Ianto leaned forward until his face was inches above hers, "Look at me."
Brown eyes met his and he slowly began to move his hips. Ianto could taste her breath as she exhaled with every thrust. Lisa’s eyes held his in an intense stare. He could feel her heart beating against him. Her eyes seemed to go on forever. Those were the eyes that had kept him hanging on to hope when he thought all was lost. Those were the eyes that loved him in his darkest times, and those were eyes he wasn't going to let go. Ianto finally reached a point where there wasn't any room left for thought, just for feeling everything that was Lisa. She was everything he'd lost and everything he still longed for. He came with her name on his lips and his heart pounding in his chest.
They collapsed tangled in each other arms, sweaty and breathless. Lisa hummed contentedly as she tucked her head beneath Ianto's chin.
When Ianto looked down at her he was suddenly overwhelmed by a strong and strange wave of guilt. The last time he'd lay like this with someone in bed, it had been Jack. He knew he shouldn't feel guilty over Jack. Ianto knew this was okay within the unspoken rules of their relationship. Jack would forgive him this. But that was just it, he wasn't planning on going back to Jack at all. That was why Ianto felt guilty. If he stayed with Lisa he’d never be with Jack.
Ianto gently caressed Lisa's hair and tried to push all thoughts of Jack out of his mind. He didn't need Jack. He didn't love Jack. He loved Lisa and he had her back. He wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes. As he began to drift off to sleep he tried not to think about what Jack once told him, 'You can go back. Going back, that's not hard, but you can never change what's happened. Time is fragile. You try fix one thing and you just end up smashing everything else to bits. No, what's done is done is done...'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Oi, up with you! Being late two days in row won't do."
It took Ianto a second to process what was happening. When he saw Lisa standing over him already dressed he smiled. "Right, give me a second."
"Coffee is on, and I'm starting on some eggs," she informed him as she headed out towards the kitchen.
Ianto pulled himself out of bed and followed her. He stood on the threshold of the kitchen as Lisa started frying up some eggs. She was talking a mile a minute about some new film she wanted to see, and about going out to the shops or something. Ianto tried to follow, but his brain was still groggy from sleep and the best he could do was nod when it seemed appropriate.
He'd forgotten about this; breakfast. He and Jack didn't do mornings. Jack usually just took a quick shower and left. They'd have their coffee and pasties at the hub once he got into work. Ianto enjoyed the quiet time in the mornings, a bit time to himself before the day started. With Lisa it had been different. They had breakfast together, and talked.
"You look as if you could use some coffee," Lisa said with smile.
"Yep." Ianto wondered why he was even thinking about Jack at all right now. He should prefer having a nice breakfast Lisa, but the thought that he'd never bring Jack his morning coffee again made him feel sick to his stomach.
"So you don't mind, right?" Lisa asked as she handed him a mug filled with coffee.
He slowly sat down at the breakfast bar and looked her. "Mind?"
"If I spend the day at the shops with Amy tomorrow? She wants me to help her pick out a wedding dress."
Ianto almost asked what for, but caught himself just in time. Of course, Amy had bought a wedding dress before Canary Warf. There was no way she would've known John, her fiancée, was going to die. She probably still had the dress too, unworn and shoved in the back of a closet somewhere. Maybe she had just burned it. Ianto would've burned it.
Lisa's face fell, "It's not like I'll be trying anything on. It's for her."
Lisa had misunderstood his silence. "No, I think you should go, and try on as many dresses as you like. I bet you'll look beautiful in a wedding dress."
"Ianto?"
"I mean it."
She gave him a huge smile, and went back to her eggs, beaming at the prospect of trying on wedding dresses.
Ianto watched her. He wondered about John and what is was going to be like to see him alive again. If he stayed here it'd just be matter of time before he and Lisa went out with their friends and so many of them, like John, had death sentences looming over them that they were completely unaware of. Could he really do it? Stay here and face them? He'd be able to save Lisa, but he wouldn't be able to save the rest of them, too.
"We're not Amy and John, you know?" Lisa said giving him a sharp eye as she set a plate of eggs down in front of him. "If you're not ready it's okay. You don't have to pretend."
Ianto examined her. She looked concerned and he realized that she'd seen him brooding. He shook his head dismissively and took a bite of his eggs. She didn't understand and he couldn't even begin to explain it to her. Jack would've understood. He would've been a bastard about it and told him that he couldn't save Lisa either, but he would've understood. But Jack wasn’t here now. No more Jack. Ever. That thought scared him more than anything. This wasn't right. Everything about this was so very wrong. What the hell was he doing?
Lisa sat down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Ianto, what's going on? It's okay. You can tell me."
Ianto looked at her and then glanced at the packages he'd left in the hall the night before. He closed his eyes. Deep down he knew this really was just some twisted game the fates were playing with him. An alien artefact fucking with his head. If he gave in to temptation it wasn't going to end well for anyone. He knew what he had to do, even though it killed him to do it. He never thought he'd have to lose Lisa a second time, but this was wrong.
"My Mam called," he finally said to Lisa.
If she was surprised by this statement it didn't show, she just gave him nod.
"I need to go to Cardiff this weekend. My Gran isn't doing well."
"Oh," was Lisa's only reply.
"You should stay here. Go to the shops with Amy. Have good time."
"Are you okay?"
He shrugged. "Just a lot on my mind. Nothing to do with you."
Lisa frowned like she didn't quite believe him.
Ianto looked her in the eye. "I love you. I love you so much."
"I love you too," she said quietly.
Ianto reached over and pulled her in for a kiss. "I like the idea of you in a wedding dress."
"Really?"
"More than you will ever know."
He stood up and kissed Lisa on the top of her head. "I should go get ready. I've got a long one ahead of me..."
As Ianto slipped off to the bathroom he tried to think about everything he needed to do and not about the wedding the he and Lisa were never destined to have.
Part 2 of 2
Words: About 13,900
Characters: Ianto/Jack, Ianto/Lisa
Rating: NC-17
Warning: None.
Spoilers: TW Season 2
Summary: Ianto has a chance to rewrite the past, but it isn't as easy as he thinks.
Beta: Thanks to kahtyasofia for the fantastic beta :D
Author's Notes: Posted in two parts, but this is a one shot and it is complete. And I won't apologize for the title. I like puns. They amuse me, even bad ones.
Disclaimer: Really, I don't own anything. I don't even own my car.
The hub was never really quiet, and Ianto was often grateful for that. The buzz of the generators, the unique hum of the rift manipulator, and the occasional squawk from Myfawny's nest gave the hub an undercurrent of life even at its loneliest moments. Ianto understood why Jack liked it here late at night because he, too, appreciated the hub's subtle energy. It was part of the reason why he found himself lingering tonight even though Gwen had long gone home and Jack had left on an errand without promising when he'd return. Ianto told himself that he was waiting for Jack, but he knew that he could've waited for him just as easily at his flat. He simply preferred the comfort of the hub.
Ianto found himself down in the storerooms working through the backlog of archives. It seemed like a never-ending task. Every time he thought he was getting close to finishing, Jack would casually mention another room filled with boxes and files. Ianto would always give him a disapproving frown and Jack would just act surprised that Ianto didn't already know about it. Ianto hated to think how they ever managed to find anything through the eighties and nineties. It was just about the time they got computers that their filing system went to hell. Jack claimed he knew where everything was, but Ianto was highly sceptical of that. After all, this was the same man that couldn't even remember where he put his car keys two minutes after he set them down.
Three days ago Jack had said something about a room on sub-level six. Ianto was now surveying said room trying to get an idea of how bad the damage was. As he looked around he decided it was no better or worse than anything he'd dealt with before, and he was grateful that someone at least had the foresight to create pathways between the stacks of boxes and files for easy access. Two boxes near the door caught his eye. They were both labelled and dated in Tosh's messy scrawl. 'I. Jones' Flat' he read as he draw near them. Ianto stared at the date. He knew it. It was the day that Lisa died. Not Canary Warf but the day Jack shot her.
Ianto had known that the team had searched his flat, but he'd never really thought about what had happened to everything that they'd taken. He’d never cared to know. There was nothing they had taken that he wanted. It was all just bits of alien tech that he'd scavenged from Torchwood London when it burned. Things that he'd thought might help him save Lisa. Once she died he had no use for any of it.
On top of one of the boxes was a case file. Ianto could only assume the contents of the report. Part of him thought it might be best to leave well enough alone, but another part of him was curious to see exactly what Jack had written. As he reached out for the file he justified his curiosity by telling himself that Jack knew this was here and he knew Ianto would find it. His stomach twisted unpleasantly as he noted a smudge of dried blood on the outside of the file folder before he flipped it open.
What Ianto found inside was not what he was expecting at all. Instead of a detailed report on the events of the night of Lisa's death, he found a half completed case report on an artefact. Artefact #tw32006323-A84 to be exact. It was dated the same night as Lisa's death and signed by Jack. Ianto read:
Artefact originally recovered by S. Costello on 23/3/06 see field report #tw32006323-FR84. No conclusion was reached as to the nature of the artefact. Artefact went missing mysteriously from S. Costello's desk on 25/3/06, see incident report #tw32006325-IR32. Artefact was recovered during the search of I. Jones' flat on the date of this report. He will be questioned as to how he acquired the artefact at an appropriate time. Case remains open.
Ianto read the report twice before closing the file. He wondered why Jack hadn't ever bothered to question him about the artefact (not that Ianto was even sure which artefact it was). Perhaps Jack had just forgotten? Or maybe he'd left it here intentionally for Ianto to find? Ianto figured there was one way to find out. He could just locate the artefact and put it and the case file on Jack's desk with a note asking him if he wanted to follow up. Ianto smiled at the idea, he was pretty sure that Jack would be squirming by the end of the conversation no matter what his intent had been.
Ianto lifted the lid of the top box and sitting there neatly, as if it had been the last thing packed, was an evidence bag with the matching artefact number on it. He picked up the bag and frowned at the contents. He'd been expecting to find some random bit of alien technology that he'd stolen from London, but instead it was a familiar silver disk. It was the only thing that he hadn't actually taken from Torchwood. He opened the bag and let the shiny object fall neatly into the palm of his hand. It felt warm even though the air in the storeroom was cold. He remembered how it had always felt warm to the touch. He had never known what it really was, but he'd always known that it was dangerous.
He closed his eyes, rethinking his plan of turning it over to Jack. Of course Ianto would have tell him, he just didn't know exactly how to explain. He carelessly flipped the small disk over in his hand trying to think through the situation. Then suddenly, the artefact did something that, in all the time Ianto had possessed it, it had never done. It got hot; very hot. Ianto looked down at it and the disk was glowing white. By the time it occurred to him that he should let go, it was too late. There was a bright flash, and then nothing but blackness.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When Ianto awoke, the only thing he could process was that he felt so warm and comfortable in his bed that he didn't want to ever move. He lay still with his eyes closed as he tried to push the grogginess out of his brain. He could hear Jack in the bathroom fiddling around. The smell of coffee brewing in the next room met his nose. There was another smell too. It was familiar, a sweet safe smell that made him think of home. No, not home; Lisa. It was this thought that made his eyes shoot open.
Ianto slowly looked around. His mouth fell open in surprise, and suddenly he was feeling very alert. He was in his flat, but not his flat in Cardiff. The flat he had shared with Lisa in London. His eyes surveyed the room noting that everything was exactly the way he remembered it. From the rickety old wardrobe that Lisa had always claimed had character, to the purple quilt that Ianto had always insisted was too girly for him to sleep under. He had to be dreaming. This couldn't be real.
There was a soft thud from the bathroom and this prompted Ianto to slip out of bed. He slowly moved out of the bedroom, away from the noise, and into the living room. Here, like the bedroom, everything was exactly the way Ianto remembered it being. Photos of Lisa and him lined the bookshelf, and Lisa's favourite coat hung off the back of a barstool near the kitchen. The lounge furniture that decorated the room was same set that he had brought with him to Cardiff. The only difference was now it looked a bit less worn. The armchair caught his eye and he noted that it was missing the stain where Jack had spilt his curry a few months back. His heart was racing, and he tried to figure out what was going on. The last thing he could remember he had been in the hub... that artefact! What had it done to him?
Ianto noticed his diary careless dropped on the floor next to the sofa. It was the only thing that seemed out of place. He walked over, picked it up and quickly flipped through the pages looking for his last entry. The page was dated March 22, 2006, and he had written, 'Amy's birthday party...' Lisa had put in her loopy cursive underneath, 'The margaritas were divine!!!' Ianto had then added, 'A bit too divine, apparently.' Lisa replied, 'Put your damn diary away, and I'll show you what's divine!'
It'd been years ago but Ianto still recalled that night. He and Lisa had come home from Amy's party tipsy. They'd collapsed on the sofa together, laughing as they wrestled for control of his diary. It'd ultimately had been left forgotten on the floor when they decided there were much more interesting games they could be playing in the bedroom. That'd been so long ago. Back when he was living a different life.
Ianto looked around the flat again, then closed his eyes, as if pretending it wasn't there would make it go away. When he opened his eyes again to find that he hadn't been magically transported back to the hub he just sighed and sat down the sofa. He flipped through the pages of his diary some more. He looked for all the other entries that should've been there, but the pages were just blank. Only then did he notice the skin on his forearm; it was smooth and unmarred. He blinked in disbelief. There should be a scar. A Weevil had gotten him good about six month ago and the mark never completely vanished. Now there was no trace of it. Ianto slowly ran his fingers over the spot almost like he expected it to feel different, but it didn't.
"It's that bloody silver disk," he mumbled to himself. He had a sick feeling in his stomach as he began to truly understand what had happened.
A thought suddenly occurred to him and he dropped the diary onto the floor and went back into the bedroom. Ianto began desperately searching through the blankets and on the floor for the disk. He even crawled under the bed. He only gave up when he found himself searching the same spots for a third and fourth time. Where was it? Why wasn't it here? He curled up on the bed feeling helpless. What was he supposed to do now?
"You had a bit of lie in this morning, love. You better hop in the shower now before you're late for work," said a familiar voice from behind him.
Ianto felt his whole body stiffen. He didn't want to look, but he knew he didn't have choice. He took a deep breath to brace himself, and slowly turned over. He knew Lisa would be there, but he still hadn't been prepared to see her standing so casually in the doorway. It'd been so long. He'd spent so many sleepless nights just trying to picture her face, the sound of her voice and the way she moved. And now there she was back with him again, whole and perfect like none of it had ever happened. It just hasn't happened yet, but it was still going to happen, Ianto silently realized.
"What do I have something on my face?" she asked as she gently brushed her lips with her fingers.
"No," Ianto replied just above a whisper. He knew he was staring, but he couldn't help it.
"Then what-" Lisa began.
Ianto smiled as he cut her off, "It's just... you're so gorgeous."
She cocked an eyebrow at him, "And you're just noticing now?"
"Well, I always suspected..." Ianto began, but Lisa closed the space between them and placed a light kiss on his lips.
"Shower now or you'll be late for work," she said as she pulled away from him.
The brief contact made shivers run down Ianto's spine. She was real. She was here. The small kiss wasn't enough so he reached out and grabbed her hand to pull her down onto the bed next to him. He kissed her deeply, tasting her, feeling her, remembering everything that he'd missed for so long.
"Mmm," Lisa hummed softly when they finally parted. "As much as I hate to protest- we really don't have time for this right now."
"Don't care," Ianto replied before kissing her again, then tracing his lips along the soft skin of her neck, taking in the scent of her perfume.
"You say that now, but later you'll be grouching about how Dr. Smith gave you a hard time for being late."
"I don't grouch," he mumbled against her shoulder as he pushed her dressing gown to the side to expose more skin.
"Right, of course you don't."
Ianto pulled back and looked at her face. She had a smirk on her lips, like it was all a joke to her. Didn't she get it? Of course she didn't get it, she never would. He had a thousand emotions running through him but to her, right now, it was just another day.
"Sorry," he whispered, "I should just go shower." He let go of her and pushed himself off of the bed.
"Ianto?" her voice floated after him.
He turned to look at her and noticed her brow was wrinkled in concern.
"What's gotten into you this morning?" she asked him seriously.
He wanted to say something to make her understand but he knew there was nothing he could do to explain, "I drank too much last night. I'm just feeling off."
She nodded, even though she didn't look completely convinced. Ianto didn't explain further, he just retreated quickly into the safety of the bathroom.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
As Lisa had predicted, Ianto ended up being late for work. Thankfully, Dr. Smith was so engrossed in whatever she was working on that she barely noticed Ianto come in. It was for the best because it'd been years since Ianto had set foot in the lab. Even though his job had been mostly setting up equipment, fetching things, and filling out reports, it still took him a good twenty minutes to orient himself and figure out what he needed to be doing. By the time Dr. Smith finished and even realized he was there he was nearly done tidying the lab from yesterday's activities.
"I want to run more tests on that gravity manipulator. Set it up," she quipped as she bustled past him.
"Of course Doctor," Ianto replied.
He watched her disappear back into her office and just stood there for a moment trying to remember everything he'd need to do. Then, it occurred to him to pull out some of his logs from earlier in the week. They would have enough information in them that he could carry out the set up. Ten minutes later he was back to doing his old job as if no time had gone by at all. At least he was adapting well.
As he hauled a particularly large piece of equipment into place, Ianto wondered how the hell he was going to set this situation right. He couldn't stay like this. That much was certain. It all came back to that silver disk, which of course was nowhere to be found. Jack's report had said that Suzie was going to recover it on a field mission. So that meant the disk was now sitting somewhere in the hub? It wasn't like Ianto could just pop in and ask Jack if he minded if Ianto borrowed some dangerous alien tech. Jack didn't even know who the hell he was...
Ianto started calibrating equipment using his old report as a guide. He huffed at the irony, because there was a time that he had known these calibrations so well that he could have done them in his sleep. Now he needed a cheat sheet.
As he double checked everything, Ianto thought about breaking into the hub. He knew he could do it. Nobody knew more about the hub than he did. Getting into the hub would be easy. The problem would be getting out. He didn't have any security codes for this time period. Ianto couldn't think of single way of breaking into the hub without trigging a lockdown. Without security codes to get himself out, once he got in he'd be trapped. Tosh would've had the technical knowledge of the systems to pull it off, but Ianto wasn't her.
Ianto went through his report for about the tenth time to be sure he'd gotten everything right. He walked around the lab, surveying his own work, slightly impressed with himself that he'd managed to pull it off. Ianto was about to bring the requisition slips into Dr. Smith to sign so he could retrieve a couple necessary items from the archives when there was a commotion in the hall.
"This is unacceptable!" Ianto heard a familiar voice protest. He peered out the door to see none other than Jack standing in the corridor and looking furious. For a brief moment Ianto thought that he'd somehow figured a way to come back and help him. That hope was crushed when Jack spoke again. "I had arrangements with the Director, and now she’s just changing her mind? Where is she? I'm not here to play games with her lackeys."
"Up in the archives sir, but she's very-" explained a well dressed man that Ianto didn't recognize. Jack didn't wait for him to finish, instead he took off with a powerful stride in the direction of the north lifts.
Ianto grabbed his requisition slips and quickly headed in the direction of the south lifts. He hoped he could get up to the archives in time to figure out why Jack was here.
Ianto got upstairs and rounded the corner just in time to see Jack force his way through the main archive door. He quickly followed, flashing his badge at the slightly stunned man guarding the door. He slipped into the room unnoticed by everyone, except Elle, a sweet girl who was responsible for logging the traffic through archives. She looked like a deer in headlights as her eyes flashed from Ianto to the Director and then to Jack.
"Director," Jack said curtly his lips twisting unpleasantly.
"Captain, I wasn't expecting to see you!" Director Hartman said much too pleasantly.
"What is this nonsense about you not releasing the hand to me?" Jack asked evenly.
The hand? What hand? The only hand that Ianto knew Jack would have any interest in was the Doctor's, but Torchwood Three already had that, didn't they? Ianto swallowed hard.
"Surely my assistant explained to you? We recovered the hand so it's ours to do with as we please, and I've decided that it should remain in our archives," the Director explained patiently, as she would to an upset child.
Jack took a deep breath and Ianto knew he was trying to reign in his temper.
"We had an understanding Yvonne, and now that you have what you want you're going back on your word?" he asked calmly, but Ianto could tell that Jack was far from calm.
"I don't recall actually promising you anything Captain. And I said before, Torchwood Three's help last week was greatly appreciated. We here in London will always do what we can to support you when you need it, as well." The way the words rolled off her tongue made her sound like an over practiced politician.
"Then release the hand to me," Jack quietly demanded.
The Director's face fell into a nasty scowl, "No."
Jack lifted his chin defiantly and narrowed his eyes, "You will regret this."
He then turned sharply on his heel and strode out of the room.
The Director looked indignant for only a moment before taking a breath and holding her head high. She looked over at Elle, and then focused on Ianto, "What are you doing here?"
Ianto offered the mint green requisition forms he was holding for her to inspect, but she didn't need to look closely at them to recognize what they were. The only things in the office printed on green paper were the archive requisitions, and everyone knew at single glance what they were by the colour.
"Get on with it then," she snapped as she brushed past him and out the door.
Ianto looked out at the corridor wishing he could go after Jack, but he didn't want to call any attention to himself. So instead he handed his paperwork to Elle.
"That was something..." Elle said, still sounding shocked.
"Yep," Ianto agreed with a small smile.
"Ianto, sorry but these forms aren't signed," she said her voice suddenly back to its normal tone.
"What?" he asked looking down at the forms, and Elle pointed to the spot where Dr. Smith was supposed to authorize them.
"Oh, sorry Elle. Dr. Smith must've forgotten. I should've double checked," Ianto said quickly collecting the forms from her.
"No worries," Elle replied with a grin.
Ianto nodded at her, and headed out into the corridor. He briefly wondered which way Jack had gone. He didn't want to waste anymore time so he quickly took a gamble and headed for the north lifts. He got there just in time to see the doors of the lift start to close.
"Hold the lift," he called and a hand went out to stop the door. As he hurried inside he was relieved to see Jack standing there.
"Sure you don't want to wait for the next one?" Jack asked him with a raised eyebrow.
"No, do you know how bloody slow these lifts are? I may end up waiting till supper time if I did that," Ianto replied hitting the button for his floor.
Ianto eyed Jack, noticing that he looked pretty much the same as ever. He was even wearing his greatcoat. Ianto frowned as he noticed a slight rip in the sleeve. He started to calculate the best way to patch it when he suddenly remembered that it wasn't exactly one of his responsibilities at the moment. And really, as far problems went, that should be the least of his worries.
"I know what you're thinking," Jack said to him.
Ianto lifted an eyebrow at him, "Oh?"
"I know what Yvonne tells you all- that I'm some loose cannon. Torchwood Three might as well be rogue," Jack explained.
"Can't say that I've heard that sir, and too be honest that wasn't even close to what I was thinking," Ianto replied.
"Is that so?" Jack asked looking at Ianto like he'd just found something interesting.
"Yes."
"So what were you thinking, then?"
"I was just admiring your coat," Ianto explained in a matter-of-fact tone.
"My coat?" Jack inquired, as smiled played on his lips.
"It's a very nice coat, sir."
"Thank you," Jack replied with a toothy grin.
"It has a rip though; you may want to get that patched before it gets worse. It'd be a shame to see something so nice ruined."
"Yes, it would be," Jack said, examining the spot on his sleeve that Ianto had pointed out.
"Sir? May I ask you something?" Ianto inquired, knowing that he was entering into dangerous waters.
"What's that?" Jack asked him with an easy smile.
"The hand that you want, what is it?"
Jack sized him up. He must've decided that Ianto's curiosity stemmed out of nothing more than the fight that he'd just witnessed because Jack tilted his head and said, "It's the hand of someone important. Useless really. Well, to anyone but me. The only reason the Director wants to keep it is because she knows I want it."
Ianto nodded in understanding. And Jack had confirmed Ianto's suspicion that it was the Doctor's hand that he was after. Ianto didn't get a chance to ask him anything more, because the lift stopped on his floor.
"Nice meeting you, sir," Ianto said as he moved to leave.
"You too, and I'll see about getting this coat fixed," Jack replied.
"I'd strongly advise that, sir." And with that the doors shut, and Jack was gone.
Ianto’s head was spinning from his meeting with Jack as he collapsed at one of the worktables back in the lab. He'd been trying to come up with a way to break into the hub undetected, and all his meeting with Jack had done was remind him of exactly how dangerous what he was plotting to do actually was. What had he been expecting anyway? For Jack to hand over his security codes to a complete stranger in a lift? Or maybe for him to invite Ianto over for a shag and a look around? Suddenly it hit him; he'd been thinking about this the wrong way. He didn't have the slightest hope of breaking into the hub, but convincing Jack to let him in the front door? That was something he could do.
Ianto’s eyes landed on the sample jars that lined the back wall; the ones specifically designed by Torchwood to hold and monitor alien biological samples. They were all exactly the same as the one that the Doctor's hand was in. Ianto smiled. There probably wasn't anyone who knew more about that hand than Ianto did. Not even Jack. Ianto had spent nearly a year and a half recording the daily readings from the sample jar, dusting it and, on one memorable occasion, detoxifying it when Owen had decided to see if the hand could get drunk by pouring half bottle of vodka into its jar.
As he leaned back in his chair, a plan formed in his mind. Suddenly getting into the hub and retrieving the silver disk almost felt too easy. There’d be a lot factors to consider, but they were all just details. And if there was one thing Ianto knew how to handle, it was details. His only real challenge would be Jack. He sighed. Jack, even at the best times, could be unpredictable.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"You're late getting back," Lisa called as Ianto pushed his way through the door of their flat.
He sighed and dropped the packages he'd picked on his way home on the floor near the door. "Sorry, got held up."
"What's all that?" she asked, coming out of the kitchen. She wore an apron over her work clothes and was gripping a glass of wine. The sight made Ianto’s breath catch. It was so familiar; so ordinary. It was just the way she always was, and that hurt him somehow. He shook his head; not in response to her inquiry, but instead to reject the sight of her.
"It's- it's nothing... some stuff Dr. Smith asked me to pick up." It was lie. He'd asked the man at the shop to wrap the packages in plain paper. People were willing to do just about anything when there was enough cash involved. The whole errand had taken much longer than Ianto had expected.
Lisa raised an eyebrow, "Don't they have couriers for that sort of thing."
"She didn't want to trust it to a courier. It was a one-time thing," Ianto explained.
Lisa nodded and eyed the packages curiously. Ianto watched her, but he knew she would let it go. Torchwood had strict rules about discussing the specifics of projects with anyone not directly involved and Lisa knew the rules. She'd never known exactly what Ianto worked on and he'd never known exactly what she did with her days. They both had a general idea, but they'd never talked about the details. Well, at least not until after Canary Warf.
"Supper's ready. Better hurry before it gets cold," she said before she gave him a small peck on the lips and headed back into the kitchen.
He shrugged off his coat and followed her in, "Smells good."
"Thanks," she replied as she served them both up some pasta and poured Ianto some wine.
Ianto tucked in as he listened to Lisa go on about the latest gossip down in her section. He could barely concentrate on the story as he watched her. He missed this. This ordinary life he had with Lisa. How at the end of each day they would sip wine and eat dinner as they sat too close to each other at the breakfast bar in the kitchen. Lisa would gossip about the people at work and Ianto would make snarky comments. On Saturdays, they would go for walks and wonder around the shops. It wasn't flashy, it was just them, and they were happy.
Part of him started to wonder why he was going to so much trouble to get that stupid silver disk back in the first place. He watched Lisa laugh at her own joke and began think that maybe he should just stay here. He knew when Canary Wharf was going to fall. He could just convince Lisa to skip work that day. They could go to the country together. She would live. They'd get their happily ever after. Lisa deserved a happy life; to grow old.
"...and then they were all eaten by aliens and everyone died."
"Huh?" Ianto asked, blinking at her.
"Are you even listening to me?" Lisa asked, her brow furrowed in annoyance.
"Sorry, I was just thinking about how wonderful you are," he replied with a charming smile, "and the part where they all died was great."
"If I'm so wonderful you should try actually listening to me," she said sipping her wine.
"Your overwhelming beauty stunned me, and I was unable to concentrate on anything else," he said.
She picked up both their plates and gave him a little smile, "I think you should know that flattery will get you everywhere."
He watched as she took the plates and put them in the sink, and he made a decision. Ianto followed her and looped his arms around her waist. He pressed his lips right next to her ear and said softly, "In that case Lisa Hallett. You are the most beautiful, brilliant, kind person I have ever met, and I think I'm the luckiest man in the entire universe to be standing in this kitchen with you at this precise moment. I love you so much that I would change the course of history for you."
"Ianto..." she sighed as she melted back into his arms. He found her lips and when they touched his it was electric. All the need and emotion he'd been feeling gripped him, and he knew she could feel it too.
Lisa turned in his arms and he pressed the length of his body up against her. She felt so good, so delicate and warm. The small noises that she made in the back of her throat just encouraged him. Ianto gripped her hips and pulled her in so she could feel how hard she was making him. Lisa moaned and looked up at him with big brown eyes filled with fire. Ianto swallowed hard, it felt so much better than he remembered, especially when she looked at him like that.
"Come on," she said grabbing his hand pulling him in the direction of the bedroom. He didn't argue. They fell onto the bed, lips locked, while trying to rid each other of their clothes. Ianto laughed as Lisa pulled his vest over his head and messed up his hair. He then playfully tackled her to the bed and relieved her of her bra, which she didn't seem to miss, as she attacked his mouth for another round of kisses. He ran his hands over her body feeling how soft her skin was. Lisa was dark and soft and sweet.
"You're like chocolate," Ianto murmured into her skin as he kissed his way down her body. She arched her back and moaned in approval as he took her nipple into his mouth and rolled it around the way Jack had taught him.
"I'll be whatever you want if you do that again," Lisa breathed.
"What? This?" he asked as he took her other nipple in his mouth.
Lisa’s only response was, "Hell, Ianto."
He laughed and she rolled him over pinned him to the bed. She used her thigh to rub his cock. It was enough pressure to make him squirm, but not nearly enough to give him any relief.
"What should we do now?" she asked with an innocent look on her face.
He scowled and easily rolled them both over so that he was on top of her and the weight of him was holding her in place, "I want you now. Just you..."
Lisa smiled and kissed him.
Ianto reached down and gently slid off her knickers, "Won't be needing these..."
"I should hope not," she replied as she helped him pull of his trousers and pants.
He paused and examined her body, laid out on the bed. She was whole. For a brief moment Ianto had a flash of how she'd looked splayed out in the conversion unit. It wouldn't happen. He wouldn't let it.
"Ianto?"
He looked her in the eye and said seriously, "You are the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen."
Lisa blushed, "You're only supposed to say those things to get me naked, not after I already am."
Ianto shook his head leaned in and captured her lips with his. "I say those things because they're true. Getting you naked is just a sweet bonus."
Lisa laughed as she pressed up against him. Her soft skin warmed him, and he breathed in her scent. Ianto’s cock was throbbing from need, the soft playful touches and the little bit of rubbing Lisa was doing as they kissed was driving him mad.
"You. Now," he said pointedly as he stilled her beneath him and grasped her hips. He positioned his cock and slowly slid into her tight, moist, heat.
Lisa moaned and let her head fall back. Ianto leaned forward until his face was inches above hers, "Look at me."
Brown eyes met his and he slowly began to move his hips. Ianto could taste her breath as she exhaled with every thrust. Lisa’s eyes held his in an intense stare. He could feel her heart beating against him. Her eyes seemed to go on forever. Those were the eyes that had kept him hanging on to hope when he thought all was lost. Those were the eyes that loved him in his darkest times, and those were eyes he wasn't going to let go. Ianto finally reached a point where there wasn't any room left for thought, just for feeling everything that was Lisa. She was everything he'd lost and everything he still longed for. He came with her name on his lips and his heart pounding in his chest.
They collapsed tangled in each other arms, sweaty and breathless. Lisa hummed contentedly as she tucked her head beneath Ianto's chin.
When Ianto looked down at her he was suddenly overwhelmed by a strong and strange wave of guilt. The last time he'd lay like this with someone in bed, it had been Jack. He knew he shouldn't feel guilty over Jack. Ianto knew this was okay within the unspoken rules of their relationship. Jack would forgive him this. But that was just it, he wasn't planning on going back to Jack at all. That was why Ianto felt guilty. If he stayed with Lisa he’d never be with Jack.
Ianto gently caressed Lisa's hair and tried to push all thoughts of Jack out of his mind. He didn't need Jack. He didn't love Jack. He loved Lisa and he had her back. He wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes. As he began to drift off to sleep he tried not to think about what Jack once told him, 'You can go back. Going back, that's not hard, but you can never change what's happened. Time is fragile. You try fix one thing and you just end up smashing everything else to bits. No, what's done is done is done...'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Oi, up with you! Being late two days in row won't do."
It took Ianto a second to process what was happening. When he saw Lisa standing over him already dressed he smiled. "Right, give me a second."
"Coffee is on, and I'm starting on some eggs," she informed him as she headed out towards the kitchen.
Ianto pulled himself out of bed and followed her. He stood on the threshold of the kitchen as Lisa started frying up some eggs. She was talking a mile a minute about some new film she wanted to see, and about going out to the shops or something. Ianto tried to follow, but his brain was still groggy from sleep and the best he could do was nod when it seemed appropriate.
He'd forgotten about this; breakfast. He and Jack didn't do mornings. Jack usually just took a quick shower and left. They'd have their coffee and pasties at the hub once he got into work. Ianto enjoyed the quiet time in the mornings, a bit time to himself before the day started. With Lisa it had been different. They had breakfast together, and talked.
"You look as if you could use some coffee," Lisa said with smile.
"Yep." Ianto wondered why he was even thinking about Jack at all right now. He should prefer having a nice breakfast Lisa, but the thought that he'd never bring Jack his morning coffee again made him feel sick to his stomach.
"So you don't mind, right?" Lisa asked as she handed him a mug filled with coffee.
He slowly sat down at the breakfast bar and looked her. "Mind?"
"If I spend the day at the shops with Amy tomorrow? She wants me to help her pick out a wedding dress."
Ianto almost asked what for, but caught himself just in time. Of course, Amy had bought a wedding dress before Canary Warf. There was no way she would've known John, her fiancée, was going to die. She probably still had the dress too, unworn and shoved in the back of a closet somewhere. Maybe she had just burned it. Ianto would've burned it.
Lisa's face fell, "It's not like I'll be trying anything on. It's for her."
Lisa had misunderstood his silence. "No, I think you should go, and try on as many dresses as you like. I bet you'll look beautiful in a wedding dress."
"Ianto?"
"I mean it."
She gave him a huge smile, and went back to her eggs, beaming at the prospect of trying on wedding dresses.
Ianto watched her. He wondered about John and what is was going to be like to see him alive again. If he stayed here it'd just be matter of time before he and Lisa went out with their friends and so many of them, like John, had death sentences looming over them that they were completely unaware of. Could he really do it? Stay here and face them? He'd be able to save Lisa, but he wouldn't be able to save the rest of them, too.
"We're not Amy and John, you know?" Lisa said giving him a sharp eye as she set a plate of eggs down in front of him. "If you're not ready it's okay. You don't have to pretend."
Ianto examined her. She looked concerned and he realized that she'd seen him brooding. He shook his head dismissively and took a bite of his eggs. She didn't understand and he couldn't even begin to explain it to her. Jack would've understood. He would've been a bastard about it and told him that he couldn't save Lisa either, but he would've understood. But Jack wasn’t here now. No more Jack. Ever. That thought scared him more than anything. This wasn't right. Everything about this was so very wrong. What the hell was he doing?
Lisa sat down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Ianto, what's going on? It's okay. You can tell me."
Ianto looked at her and then glanced at the packages he'd left in the hall the night before. He closed his eyes. Deep down he knew this really was just some twisted game the fates were playing with him. An alien artefact fucking with his head. If he gave in to temptation it wasn't going to end well for anyone. He knew what he had to do, even though it killed him to do it. He never thought he'd have to lose Lisa a second time, but this was wrong.
"My Mam called," he finally said to Lisa.
If she was surprised by this statement it didn't show, she just gave him nod.
"I need to go to Cardiff this weekend. My Gran isn't doing well."
"Oh," was Lisa's only reply.
"You should stay here. Go to the shops with Amy. Have good time."
"Are you okay?"
He shrugged. "Just a lot on my mind. Nothing to do with you."
Lisa frowned like she didn't quite believe him.
Ianto looked her in the eye. "I love you. I love you so much."
"I love you too," she said quietly.
Ianto reached over and pulled her in for a kiss. "I like the idea of you in a wedding dress."
"Really?"
"More than you will ever know."
He stood up and kissed Lisa on the top of her head. "I should go get ready. I've got a long one ahead of me..."
As Ianto slipped off to the bathroom he tried to think about everything he needed to do and not about the wedding the he and Lisa were never destined to have.
Part 2 of 2