One last holiday fail for 2012.
Guess it looks like we're cliff-diving. I had thought they would come to an agreement at the very last minute, but since we're dealing with a bunch of idiots and ideological assholes, I guess I was being too generous in my estimate. Oh well, hope it doesn't bite us too hard...!
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*sigh* They say that the lottery is a stupidity tax. Well, I proved that one right earlier tonight when I went to buy my MegaMillions ticket for tomorrow's game.
I had four sets of numbers chosen - $5 is the most I will ever spend on a ticket, and I don't buy tickets that often. When I do buy them I only ever spend $1 or $2, sometimes $3, but no more than that. I doubled up on this one because hey, new year, nice start, eh?
I figured I would go out of town to buy my ticket, since if I win anything big, my face is known enough around here that it would make privacy that much more difficult. (Illinois, by law, publishes the identities of big lottery winners, which personally I disagree with, and not just because of the potential for me.)
But, when I stopped at the out-of-town gas station and handed over my number set, the damned thing wound up costing me $8 instead of the 5 I'd calculated it to be. The extra dollar was for the megaplier, which doubles your winnings for smaller prizes; I don't know if it would do it for the Big Prize.
Turns out - and I'm not sure if this is a mistake on my part or the cashier's - the megaplier got applied to ALL four number sets, and that is what made my ticket price shoot up. But that wasn't even the worst of it. I only HAD 5 bucks' cash on me. Lottery tickets CANNOT be canceled or refunded. So basically, I'm standing there stuck as to how I'm going to pay for this goddamn ticket that I had no idea was going to cost me that much.
So I'm frantically rummaging through my purse, trying to scrape together whatever change might be in there, not finding anything, racking my brain as to what I'm going to do, and finally the cashier chipped in for the rest of it from her own pocket. I think she just wanted to get rid of me by that point, and frankly I don't blame her. She probably sees idiots like me on a regular basis. (Also, this is how I learned that it is illegal to pay for lottery tickets with a debit and/or credit card. I had like a dollar left on this debit pay-card that Crackhead Barrel gave me for what was once my check, and I asked if I could use that up. Nope. So, I did not know that. Cue yet another faux pas for me.)
*sigh* I only resort to the lottery because I need money. They say you shouldn't play because you need it, but hey, I need it. I can't get a job anymore; not that I even want a regular job that I know I'm just going to burn out on anyway. I'm sick and tired of being poor and dependent on my parents and unable to keep up with the rest of the world in general. There's a quote I read in a book once, a Sandra Brown novel, where a character (who is not a good person, btw) remembers the poverty she grew up in and how it contrasts with the wealthy life she has as an adult, and it goes something like "Poverty sucks. It makes you mean, it makes you desperate." This is very true. I've caught myself being snippier than usual sometimes in the past, and even now, and I know it's because I'm frustrated at being caught between a rock and a hard place. I don't like that, it scares me, because I see the same meanness in my dad and his family, and at times, in my brother and SIL.
Another thing I've noticed is that I'm always hungry. When I was working in Florida, the only times where I'd get hungry was when I was stuck on long shifts and they wouldn't allow you to have snacks. But since coming back here, and not having any money, and being pretty much on a leash by my parents as far as expenses - they eat a ton of red meat and drink gallons of diet soda, and they complain about me wanting a $1.89 can of low-sodium tuna? Yeah, there's a reason why my dad has blood pressure problems... So basically, I eat whatever I can get my mitts on, which isn't always good stuff. (I did the same thing before I went to Florida.) And yes, I'm well aware that I'm also an emotional eater, there ain't a whole lot I can do about that. I freely admit I'm addicted to sugar-sweet tastes (not that I'm gorging on candy and ice cream every single day - I don't) and although this cycles every so often wherein I develop cravings for different things before switching to others, giving up stuff is impossible for me. I can do without for short-term periods if I choose to, but going cold turkey is out of the question, nor can I stomach (ha, ha) the thought of never again eating my favorite things.
So, yeah. I can't make money the old-fashioned way, so I may as well try to get it the oddball way. Is it really all that horrible to want a shitload of money? I'm no saint and never will be. I just don't want to have to struggle anymore and wonder and worry. I'm not asking for gold-plated toilets or Bentleys or stupid shit like that, I just want to live a comfortable middle-class life, albeit at the upper end. I'd like to be able to do the occasional nice thing for the people I care about and help out folks when they need it. And...I just can't. Because I suck and fail at life. I just can't 'do' like normal people, and I'm tired of trying and getting nowhere. If that's selfish of me, well, so be it. I'm probably headed for the hell-bus anyway...
That fucking lottery ticket had *better* be a winner for the embarrassment and cost.
And yes, when I get paid from a transcript job I helped out Ayinsan with recently, I am going back to that gas station, looking up that cashier and paying her back the $3 she contributed. She saved my ass on that one, no doubt. (And of course, if I do win, I will be more than happy to share my jackpot with her as well.) And - next time I play MM, no more multipliers weird thingies for me. I'm just sticking with my regular 5 numbers. :/
--
*sigh* They say that the lottery is a stupidity tax. Well, I proved that one right earlier tonight when I went to buy my MegaMillions ticket for tomorrow's game.
I had four sets of numbers chosen - $5 is the most I will ever spend on a ticket, and I don't buy tickets that often. When I do buy them I only ever spend $1 or $2, sometimes $3, but no more than that. I doubled up on this one because hey, new year, nice start, eh?
I figured I would go out of town to buy my ticket, since if I win anything big, my face is known enough around here that it would make privacy that much more difficult. (Illinois, by law, publishes the identities of big lottery winners, which personally I disagree with, and not just because of the potential for me.)
But, when I stopped at the out-of-town gas station and handed over my number set, the damned thing wound up costing me $8 instead of the 5 I'd calculated it to be. The extra dollar was for the megaplier, which doubles your winnings for smaller prizes; I don't know if it would do it for the Big Prize.
Turns out - and I'm not sure if this is a mistake on my part or the cashier's - the megaplier got applied to ALL four number sets, and that is what made my ticket price shoot up. But that wasn't even the worst of it. I only HAD 5 bucks' cash on me. Lottery tickets CANNOT be canceled or refunded. So basically, I'm standing there stuck as to how I'm going to pay for this goddamn ticket that I had no idea was going to cost me that much.
So I'm frantically rummaging through my purse, trying to scrape together whatever change might be in there, not finding anything, racking my brain as to what I'm going to do, and finally the cashier chipped in for the rest of it from her own pocket. I think she just wanted to get rid of me by that point, and frankly I don't blame her. She probably sees idiots like me on a regular basis. (Also, this is how I learned that it is illegal to pay for lottery tickets with a debit and/or credit card. I had like a dollar left on this debit pay-card that Crackhead Barrel gave me for what was once my check, and I asked if I could use that up. Nope. So, I did not know that. Cue yet another faux pas for me.)
*sigh* I only resort to the lottery because I need money. They say you shouldn't play because you need it, but hey, I need it. I can't get a job anymore; not that I even want a regular job that I know I'm just going to burn out on anyway. I'm sick and tired of being poor and dependent on my parents and unable to keep up with the rest of the world in general. There's a quote I read in a book once, a Sandra Brown novel, where a character (who is not a good person, btw) remembers the poverty she grew up in and how it contrasts with the wealthy life she has as an adult, and it goes something like "Poverty sucks. It makes you mean, it makes you desperate." This is very true. I've caught myself being snippier than usual sometimes in the past, and even now, and I know it's because I'm frustrated at being caught between a rock and a hard place. I don't like that, it scares me, because I see the same meanness in my dad and his family, and at times, in my brother and SIL.
Another thing I've noticed is that I'm always hungry. When I was working in Florida, the only times where I'd get hungry was when I was stuck on long shifts and they wouldn't allow you to have snacks. But since coming back here, and not having any money, and being pretty much on a leash by my parents as far as expenses - they eat a ton of red meat and drink gallons of diet soda, and they complain about me wanting a $1.89 can of low-sodium tuna? Yeah, there's a reason why my dad has blood pressure problems... So basically, I eat whatever I can get my mitts on, which isn't always good stuff. (I did the same thing before I went to Florida.) And yes, I'm well aware that I'm also an emotional eater, there ain't a whole lot I can do about that. I freely admit I'm addicted to sugar-sweet tastes (not that I'm gorging on candy and ice cream every single day - I don't) and although this cycles every so often wherein I develop cravings for different things before switching to others, giving up stuff is impossible for me. I can do without for short-term periods if I choose to, but going cold turkey is out of the question, nor can I stomach (ha, ha) the thought of never again eating my favorite things.
So, yeah. I can't make money the old-fashioned way, so I may as well try to get it the oddball way. Is it really all that horrible to want a shitload of money? I'm no saint and never will be. I just don't want to have to struggle anymore and wonder and worry. I'm not asking for gold-plated toilets or Bentleys or stupid shit like that, I just want to live a comfortable middle-class life, albeit at the upper end. I'd like to be able to do the occasional nice thing for the people I care about and help out folks when they need it. And...I just can't. Because I suck and fail at life. I just can't 'do' like normal people, and I'm tired of trying and getting nowhere. If that's selfish of me, well, so be it. I'm probably headed for the hell-bus anyway...
That fucking lottery ticket had *better* be a winner for the embarrassment and cost.
And yes, when I get paid from a transcript job I helped out Ayinsan with recently, I am going back to that gas station, looking up that cashier and paying her back the $3 she contributed. She saved my ass on that one, no doubt. (And of course, if I do win, I will be more than happy to share my jackpot with her as well.) And - next time I play MM, no more multipliers weird thingies for me. I'm just sticking with my regular 5 numbers. :/