Days 5 and 6: Meetings, migraines and more fail.
I think I have set a new record in fucking up at a new job.
Yesterday I had to attend this stupid half-hour meeting, which ended up being more like 45 minutes (and yes, it was mandatory, as are the next 3 or 4 that I have to attend, one per each week, until I make the Level 1 designation...Unfortunately I have a feeling that's not gonna happen, but more on this later). And joy of joys, guess what I'm dealing with right now? If you said "A GOD DAMNED MIGRAINE", you're correct, Sparky.
At least my bosses (and there are a LOT of them; at last count I've run into about 5 or 6 different people who rank well above me) now know I wasn't bullshitting when I said I get Really Bad Migraines...Only one of them was at this meeting, but she could tell I was a sad sack of shit, and when I called in this morning to call off I even told the latest boss (whom I've yet to meet in person) he could ask Other Boss about it.
I had to have my mom drive me to the meeting (and then home again), because I was in no shape to be operating HI THERE 2 1/2 TONS OF DEADLY MOVING STEEL OBJECT ON THE ROAD.
Today the pain is on its 3rd day and receding (thank God), but I'm so wiped out from it and from the caffeine crash after consuming a fuckwad of Excedrin and Mountain Dew to dull said pain, so as a result I've been Wired As Hell the past two nights, therefore not getting any sleep worth a damn, and therefore being unable to function for shit these past few days. And this morning, about a half-hour before I was supposed to be at work (I overslept on account of the aforementioned), I just said, fuck it, and called in sick. I'm not in the mood to make all sunshiney happy face at people and pressure them to buy candy so my sales will score higher. Technically I'm supposed to only do this hours, if not days, in advance, but you know, it's not like they make GPS systems for migraines that tell you "On such-and-such a date, 2012, at 3:17 PM you will be scheduled for the beginning of a 3-day bender due to migraine onset." (In other words, you can't fucking plan for these goddamn things.) So, I'm probably looking at my first write-up the next time I go in. (As it is I have to go in sometime tomorrow to find out what the new schedule is going to be, and possibly collect any money I might have managed to make for pay.)
But you know...I really just don't give a shit. I'm tired on so many levels anymore, tired of jumping through hoops. I'm too old and ornery for this shit. I'm probably not going to make it to my 30-day evaluation, and despite the perks - and there are plenty (assuming, of course, you survive the 30-day mark) - I don't care if I do or don't. I don't want any more crappy jobs like this.
I should just face facts: I can't do normal jobs like normal people, and I don't want to anymore. I'm only really good at being a lazy daydreaming asshole. That's it.
Yesterday I had to attend this stupid half-hour meeting, which ended up being more like 45 minutes (and yes, it was mandatory, as are the next 3 or 4 that I have to attend, one per each week, until I make the Level 1 designation...Unfortunately I have a feeling that's not gonna happen, but more on this later). And joy of joys, guess what I'm dealing with right now? If you said "A GOD DAMNED MIGRAINE", you're correct, Sparky.
At least my bosses (and there are a LOT of them; at last count I've run into about 5 or 6 different people who rank well above me) now know I wasn't bullshitting when I said I get Really Bad Migraines...Only one of them was at this meeting, but she could tell I was a sad sack of shit, and when I called in this morning to call off I even told the latest boss (whom I've yet to meet in person) he could ask Other Boss about it.
I had to have my mom drive me to the meeting (and then home again), because I was in no shape to be operating HI THERE 2 1/2 TONS OF DEADLY MOVING STEEL OBJECT ON THE ROAD.
Today the pain is on its 3rd day and receding (thank God), but I'm so wiped out from it and from the caffeine crash after consuming a fuckwad of Excedrin and Mountain Dew to dull said pain, so as a result I've been Wired As Hell the past two nights, therefore not getting any sleep worth a damn, and therefore being unable to function for shit these past few days. And this morning, about a half-hour before I was supposed to be at work (I overslept on account of the aforementioned), I just said, fuck it, and called in sick. I'm not in the mood to make all sunshiney happy face at people and pressure them to buy candy so my sales will score higher. Technically I'm supposed to only do this hours, if not days, in advance, but you know, it's not like they make GPS systems for migraines that tell you "On such-and-such a date, 2012, at 3:17 PM you will be scheduled for the beginning of a 3-day bender due to migraine onset." (In other words, you can't fucking plan for these goddamn things.) So, I'm probably looking at my first write-up the next time I go in. (As it is I have to go in sometime tomorrow to find out what the new schedule is going to be, and possibly collect any money I might have managed to make for pay.)
But you know...I really just don't give a shit. I'm tired on so many levels anymore, tired of jumping through hoops. I'm too old and ornery for this shit. I'm probably not going to make it to my 30-day evaluation, and despite the perks - and there are plenty (assuming, of course, you survive the 30-day mark) - I don't care if I do or don't. I don't want any more crappy jobs like this.
I should just face facts: I can't do normal jobs like normal people, and I don't want to anymore. I'm only really good at being a lazy daydreaming asshole. That's it.