One of the reasons I decided years ago not to ever have kids is because I have too much of my dad's temperament in me. I'm prone to depression, have a bad temper and get easily overwhelmed by shit. I KNOW I would take it out on a kid the instant said kid did something to piss me off (as all kids inevitably do), and I refuse to do that to somebody knowing that it would fuck them up at least as much as I've been messed up (if not worse).
It wasn't until I got older and hit my 20s that I could start to see certain family patterns, and recognize them for the problems they were/are, and how they've affected not just me but the family tree in general. I worry a little about my nephew in that respect, because my brother also has some of Dad's mannerisms and I've seen a few of those at work before. (Nothing along my dad's lines, but my brother has definitely bought into the whole "man must be MAN" stuff. It's probably safe to say that my dad's own homophobia influenced my brother while we were growing up - SIL told me once that during a fight they had when Bro was a teen that my dad called him a "pussy" for apparently not being "man" enough. Nice, eh?)
Dad is fine when he's in a good mood, but that all depends on how well he's physically feeling and any ongoing circumstances (like potential bills or whatnot). Believe it or not, I think we got along better when I was in Florida and I'd call up the folks on a regular basis to keep them updated as to my state. One thing I learned fast was that I did NOT miss Dad's fits over every little thing (which is also one of my bad habits; it's just that what trips my triggers is usually different than his!)
You aren't the only one whose catses need extra special care. One of my pals in Pennsylvania has about 5 cats and at least two of them have had significant health issues over the course of time, one of them serious enough to have been hospitalized repeatedly (poor thing has had, among other things, bowel issues, stomach issues, etc.). We loves our kittehs, what can I say. :) It sucks that the little guys only live about 15 - 20 years max, whereas there are useless humans out there who live to be 101. (Seriously, God, what's up with that shit? That's messed up, dude.)
It wasn't until I got older and hit my 20s that I could start to see certain family patterns, and recognize them for the problems they were/are, and how they've affected not just me but the family tree in general. I worry a little about my nephew in that respect, because my brother also has some of Dad's mannerisms and I've seen a few of those at work before. (Nothing along my dad's lines, but my brother has definitely bought into the whole "man must be MAN" stuff. It's probably safe to say that my dad's own homophobia influenced my brother while we were growing up - SIL told me once that during a fight they had when Bro was a teen that my dad called him a "pussy" for apparently not being "man" enough. Nice, eh?)
Dad is fine when he's in a good mood, but that all depends on how well he's physically feeling and any ongoing circumstances (like potential bills or whatnot). Believe it or not, I think we got along better when I was in Florida and I'd call up the folks on a regular basis to keep them updated as to my state. One thing I learned fast was that I did NOT miss Dad's fits over every little thing (which is also one of my bad habits; it's just that what trips my triggers is usually different than his!)
You aren't the only one whose catses need extra special care. One of my pals in Pennsylvania has about 5 cats and at least two of them have had significant health issues over the course of time, one of them serious enough to have been hospitalized repeatedly (poor thing has had, among other things, bowel issues, stomach issues, etc.). We loves our kittehs, what can I say. :) It sucks that the little guys only live about 15 - 20 years max, whereas there are useless humans out there who live to be 101. (Seriously, God, what's up with that shit? That's messed up, dude.)
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