(no subject)

[amethyst_asp]

Oh lamentable life, why do you cling to me. I feel as though me and my tiny boy are all alone on an island. Perhaps my husband is there, he is sometimes. Unfortunately he can't handle my depression. It's not exactly support if it makes me feel worse. I don't blame him, I understand it's hard to be cheerful if your spouse is sad. It causes me to bottle up, however, not as much as knowing I would have no friends if I did not bottle up almsot everything. I'm not worthwhile to anyone unless I am happy. Happy and bending over backwards for them. It seems I'm always listening to someone's problems and trying to help though. Why does it seem everyone else can be depressed without losing friends? I am not sure anybody at all has even noticed this time except Chris. My entire life fell apart, dreams were offered and snatched away, it feels there is no point to this.
Who says friendship lasts forever? Who says bonds can't be broken? Maybe some cannot. But! I would advise you never get comfortable enough to be totally honest with anybody. I would advise you never really believe anybody will be there for you. Of course, some people do manage to find and keep truly loyal friends. I know that I am not one of them. Supposed best friends who were not best friends at all taught me that. But how will I trust again? If my "best friend" from high school can dump me for an abusive guy, I must be worse, more abrasive, less worthwhile than an abusive guy.