Speak Now - Harry/Pansy
Title: Speak Now
Author: amethyst18
Pairing: Harry/Pansy
Word Count: 1,490
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Angst
Summary: Is it possible that some people are meant to fall in love with each other, but not meant to be together? Pansy Parkinson is about to find out.
Author's Notes: This one-shot was inspired by Taylor Swift’s song “Speak Now” and Barcelona’s song, “Get Up.” Many thanks to my awesome beta, ashleyfanfic, who is always prepared to drop everything in the name of fandom; Written for the 2011 Interhouse Fest over at interhouse_fest.
She looked beautiful, and she knew it.
But yet she couldn’t stop herself from taking a quick peek in the window of a local storefront, just to make sure her reflection still radiated perfection.
She knew it was absolutely ridiculous to be so worried about her appearance on a day like today, but that hadn’t stopped her from spending hours locked in the bathroom making sure every single hair was in place, that her makeup was perfectly applied. Not to mention the hours she had spent searching for just the right dress and shoe combination to wear to the occasion.
So, in spite of the fact that her five inch stilettos were killing her feet and she could scarcely breathe in her midnight blue sheath dress, she took comfort in knowing that it was time and galleons well spent. She looked amazing, and blue was his favorite color, after all.
As she walked slowly down the street, she could feel her heart threatening to beat right out of her chest. She tried to take a few deep breaths, but it did little to quell her pounding heart. Her entire body was shaking, a mixture of fear and adrenaline, and she knew that it was sheer determination alone that kept her moving forward.
No one expected her to show up today. And those who did would surely be waiting with disapproving stares and whispered words of censure. But she didn’t care. She couldn’t just sit alone in her apartment and watch the clock tick away the time. No, not today. Today was her last chance, and if she didn’t take it, she knew she’d regret it for the rest of her life.
So, that’s exactly why she was slowly making her way towards the stone church.
As she walked, she couldn’t stop the flood of emotions that stampeded through her heart and mind. The closer she got, the weaker she could feel her resolve slowly becoming. Memories, that had been long buried, began to flash before her eyes and before she could stop it, she was ambushed by the painful memory of their final meeting.
“Pansy, I don’t understand. How can you be saying this?”
The tears flowed freely from her eyes, but she didn’t bother wiping them away. “Don’t you see, Harry? We just can’t be together. It will never work. I don’t want to ruin your life any more than I already have.”
He smiled sadly and reached out to gently caress her cheek. “Is that what you think? That you’re ruining my life? Pansy, you’re wrong. You have brought me so much happiness. I’ve never known what it felt like to be truly loved until I fell in love with you. I don’t care what people say about you, about us. It doesn’t change anything. I’m in love with you, Pans.”
She shrugged her shoulders, brushing his hand away. “Stop, please. Don’t say anymore… I can’t take it.” She choked down the sob that was threatening to erupt from her throat. “I have to do this. I have to let you go, Harry. Your friends hate me, I’m causing problems for you at the Ministry, and it’s time that we let go of this…this attachment we have to one another. We both need to move on.”
He took a step back; the look on his face pained, as though she had struck him. “An attachment? Is that all I am to you?”
“Harry, please….”
“No,” he interrupted. “I need to hear it, Pansy. Otherwise, I’ll never believe it. Tell me that you never loved me. Tell me that everything we’ve shared together has been a lie.”
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, the very words-the lies she knew she had to speak-were trapped inside her throat.
He grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her from her reverie. “Tell me, Pansy. Tell me!”
“I don’t love you, Harry.”
She watched as his face crumpled, as tears filled the beautiful green eyes that she loved so much. “You don’t mean it. I know you, Pansy. You don’t mean it.”
“Yes, I do.” She looked him carefully in the face. “I don’t love you, Harry Potter… and I never did.”
He was silent for a moment, his face mirroring every single emotion she was trying so hard not to show. Finally, he sighed, and backed away from her slowly. With a sad smile, he turned and walked away without another word.
As she watched him go, she felt her heart shatter into a million pieces. She knew in that moment that she would never be the same again.
As the memory slowly faded away, Pansy reached up and wiped the single tear that had fallen down her cheek. The pain of that day was still as raw and fresh as it had ever been.
Before she knew it, she found herself standing in front of the church.
With a deep breath, she carefully pulled the wrinkled invitation from her clutch. It felt like lead in her hand, and as she smoothed her finger over the silver calligraphy, she could stop herself from wondering why he had bothered to send her an invitation in the first place.
When it had arrived by owl six weeks ago, she had been as surprised as any, and the fact that it was addressed in hishandwriting….well, she simply didn’t know what to think. It certainly wasn’t something she expected.
But after spending days brooding over its possible meaning, she had finally reached the conclusion that the invitation could only mean one of two things. He was either telling her goodbye, or perhaps in some strange way, he was trying to offer her the last chance she so desperately craved. Was it even possible?
As she stood staring at the wooden doors of the church, trying to decide whether his invitation had truly been some kind of sign or merely just the final nail in the coffin of her heart, she saw a figure making his way towards her.
It was Draco.
Pansy groaned and put her hands on her hips, “Look, I know what you’re going to say, but you can’t stop me.”
Draco continued to saunter towards her, his usual smirk playing across his lips. “I wasn’t going to say anything. I just came out here for a smoke.”
Pansy rolled her eyes as she watched him pull a fag out of the small silver case he carried in his pocket, light it, and take a long drag.
“I didn’t think you’d come today.”
Pansy snorted, “What, and miss this happy occasion? Of course not.”
She expected him to come back with some sarcastic retort of his own, but all she found were sympathetic eyes staring back at her through a haze of smoke.
Draco took another quick drag of his cigarette before flicking it to the ground.
“Pansy….” He started.
“No…” she interjected, shaking her head. “No, don’t. There’s nothing you can say to stop me. I don’t have any other choice, Draco. You of all people should know that.”
He took her shaking hand in his. “I know that, Pans. I wasn’t going to try to stop you.”
Draco’s face was etched in sympathy, but Pansy could always see the warm love of friendship radiating in his slate colored eyes. She knew then that he hadn’t come to stop her; he had come to be there with her, and the realization had tears pooling in her eyes.
“Thank you, Draco.” She whispered.
He answered with a reassuring squeeze of her hand.
They stood silently for a moment, until the bells in the church tower began to chime.
“I think that’s our cue.” He smiled, “Are you ready?”
She gulped. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
Hand in hand, the two friends walked up the stone steps and into the church.
****
The time had come.
Draco eyed Pansy carefully out of the corner of his eye. “Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked, as he watched Ginny walk gracefully down the aisle, her lovely face framed with ivory lace.
Pansy, whose eyes were locked on the man standing at the altar, slowly nodded. “I have to tell him, Draco. I have to tell him that I lied to him. I have to tell him that I love him.”
“Okay, Pans. But as your friend I have to make sure that you know what you’re doing. After all, isn’t it possible that some people are meant to fall in love with each other, but not meant to be together?”
Pansy closed her eyes and sighed. “No, I don’t believe that. I can’t….”
Suddenly, the minister’s clear voice rang out through the church.
“Is there any among you who object to this union? Speak now or forever hold your peace.”
With a deep breath, Pansy rose to her feet.