(no subject)
beautiful
jaebum/jinyoung; pg-13
slight angst (??), predebut jjp
a/n: wrote this sometime ago but only got the courage to post it now ;;; based loosely on beautiful by b.i and bobby ((the jjproject pairing is my guilty pleasure))
-
jinyoung remembers the first time he stands on stage not as plain old park jinyoung, but as jr of jj project very clearly, perhaps even more clearly than the debut stage with got7. it's not that he doesn’t like got7; they are, after all, his brothers. however by then the novelty of standing on stage had already worn off so naturally things felt simpler.
but what jinyoung remembers so clearly from that may 22nd was not the heat of the bright lights, flashing cameras or the screaming fans. neither was it the rush from the company to the backstage, the stylists fussing over his hair or the overwhelming number of sunbaes that he had to greet almost every two seconds.
it is the twisting feeling in his stomach that he remembers clearer than anything else. his non-stop squirming and fiddling with his hair, making sure that every strand was in place. he ties extra knots on his shoelaces to make sure that he won't trip by accident on jj project's debut stage, and clasps and unclasps the numerous braclets and necklaces that adorn his wrists and neck. he was twisting his fingers into his shirt nervously when a hand drops gently on to his, and untangles the clammy digits from the fabric.
("calm down. You'll wrinkle your clothes."
"sorry.")
jinyoung stills at the warm, husky voice that he had grown so familiar with over the past few years, and he relaxes slightly. jaebum slides onto the empty space next to jinyoung on the worn out sofa and offers the younger a grin.
("are you ready?" )
jinyoung feels like saying no, but he nods stiffly and attempts to return the smile. jaebum chuckles at his anxiety and earns himself a punch to the shoulder from the disgruntled younger. he laughs it off, forcing open jinyoung's fists that were clenched tight on his lap and tangles his fingers with those on jinyoung's left hand, despite the cold sweat that wont dry up no matter how much he tries to get rid of it. lifting their intertwined hands, jaebum runs his lips across the other's knuckles.
("we'll be fine.")
later, just a few seconds before they step on to their stage, jinyoung grabs jaebum's hand and the elder looks up at him in mild surprise. the younger reaches out a hand to adjust jaebum's mic.
("we'll be fine.")
the two snap out of the world of their own when the director yells "now!" and hand in hand, they both run up into the dazzling spotlights, cheers and their road to stardom.
-
other than times spent as jj project, in the very very special corner of his mind, jinyoung hides memories of things way before jj project debuted. memories of sweating it out in the practice room every single moment he was awake, memories of the instructor's harsh words that pricked him again and again and memories of the stressful monthly evaluations by the real park jinyoung himself.
but most of all, he remembers jaebum.
the day the two boys met, jinyoung knew that he would be seeing this face more than often, and he was right. he spends almost every waking moment going through dance steps with jaebum (whom he eventually finds out tied with him in the auditions), and they are allocated to the same dormitory. he eats breakfast, lunch and dinner with the older boy, attends vocal lessons with him, sneaks in a joke or two between their short water breaks and strolls back to their shared room at unearthly hours in the morning together when they are finally done with practice. jinyoung, rightfully, should be pretty sick of seeing the same person everytime he opens his eyes, but strangely, he wasn’t.
the two become close friends, and jaebum's presence becomes so familiar in jinyoung's life that he doesn’t remember what it was like not to have lived without jaebum barging into his personal space every second of the day.
the first time jaebum smacks jinyoung awake, it was exactly 2.17 in the morning, and jinyoung was feeling extra grumpy from being awakened for a reason that he knows is surely not legitimate.
("what is it?"
"let's sneak out."
"what the fuck im jaebum.")
jinyoung is dragged out of the warm covers against his will and jaebum pulls a sweater over the younger's head sloppily, tugging him out of the door and tiptoeing softly along the dark corridor. glancing around occasionally, his hand clutches jinyoung's tightly, and jinyoung in his sleep-induced confusion wonders what jaebum is doing. this isn't the stickler for rules that he knows so well.
the nearer they get to the exit at the back where they are less likely to get caught, the more nervous jinyoung feels. his heartbeat thunders in his ears along with their soft breathing and an occasional stray sound that makes his heart leap to his throat but jaebum pulls him quickly out of his fear and finally they stumble into the cool night air, panting heavily and relieved at the thought that they had managed to get out so smoothly. jinyoung barely rests for 3 seconds before jaebum's fingers wrap themselves around his wrist and pull him into an ice cream shop, laughing delightedly like a little kid. they stare in wonder at the colourful array of sweet desserts as jaebum digs out his wallet from his pocket.
("what do you want?"
"you did not just seriously wake me up to come here to ge-"
"im getting strawberry for you.")
jinyoung blinks indignantly as jaebum grabs their orders and guides him out of the shop, and to a small bridge overlooking a river.
jaebum swings his legs over the ledge of the bridge and settles down comfortably, licking at his cone and offering jinyoung's to him. shrugging, the younger clambers up and decides that he might as well eat the ice cream since it’s a treat from the usually stingy elder.
both of their legs begin to move forwards and backwards in sync, as they look over the frozen river and the blurry reflections of light on it, tongues working on the dessert. jinyoung is mesmerised by the way the lights from the buildings nearby fall as shadows across the sharp planes of jaebum's face, and jaebum's eyes glinting with wild excitement instead of the usual sombre. he stares and stares until jaebum turns and meets his eyes. jumping in surprise, jinyoung immediately turns away, embarrassed at being caught staring. he chooses to concentrate on his ice cream instead as heat rises up in his cheeks.
they lick till their fingers are sticky from the melted dessert and their tongues are sweet with chocolate and strawberry, and jaebum lets out a comfortable sigh before hopping off the ledge and offering a hand to jinyoung.
grabbing it, jinyoung jumps down, and follows jaebum's quick strides back to the dormitories, his breath coming out in cold puffs of air.
these thrilling escapades soon becomes a weekly thing though jinyoung's body never adjusts to the bizarre timings and the route to escape, instead letting jaebum grip firmly onto his hand and lead him out, avoiding the steps that creak.
jaebum doesn’t say anything on their nightly outings, and jinyoung doesn’t ask. he understands enough just by sitting on the same old ledge and eating the same old flavour of ice cream.
jinyoung thinks that sneaking out is pretty nice, if not just as nice as the feeling of jaebum's warmth beside him and strawberry ice cream inside him.
-
training begins to get way tougher, as both of them stay up till wee hours in the morning to make sure that they don’t slip up by accident and fail this month's evaluation. it's hard for jinyoung, who is still in his growing stages, and sometimes jinyoung feels like his dream is too far away. it's those days that he coops himself up in the practice room, going over the same beat and moves over and over again till his limbs feel like jelly and sweat is pouring out of every pore in his body. it's those days that jaebum switches off the music player and gathers the smaller boy into his arms, letting him sit in a daze in the other's hold till the dam built up of jinyoung's faltering will breaks and the tears flow out uncontrollably. it's those days that jinyoung lets his tears run into jaebum's sweat soaked shirt and feels jaebum's fingers stroking his hair gently, rubbing the small of his back.
it's those days that jaebum tucks jinyoung into bed, and softly sings, lulling the younger into a comfortable sleep.
jaebum was his very own heaven, in that moment all jinyoung had was him, and the younger knows that with jaebum, everything will be okay.
-
it's in the months approaching july when the nights start to become muggy, and their air conditioner chooses to betray them by letting out a last loud sigh and breaking down. jinyoung wants to tear his hair out at the unbearable heat, tossing and turning on the mattress that feels soaked from the sweat seeping through his shirt. He barely manages to fall asleep as morning approaches.
the next day when jaebum enters the room after dance practice, jinyoung almost chokes on his ramen.
("why the heck are you shirtless?"
"it's too hot. take your shirt off too. it helps loads.")
in all the years jinyoung has known jaebum, he has never felt this nervous being around him. gulping down his saliva, he tries to focus on the television instead of jaebum's taut back muscles behind him as the older types away on his phone, but it's proving impossible. jinyoung doesn’t exactly understand the flush creeping up the back of his neck and the fluttering of his heart, and the warmth that spreads across his cheeks and down south when jaebum leans down from the back to steal a bite of his noodles. he almost kicks the chair back in his hurry to stand up and shoves his food into jaebum's hands before running to the bathroom and slamming the door, ignoring jaebum's confused eyes that follow him. breathing too fast to be normal, he splashes water onto his face and slaps himself twice to attempt to rid his head of his new self discovery.
it doesn’t work.
-
jinyoung begins to avoid every moment that he has to spend alone with jaebum in the room, instead choosing to dance over and over in the practice room until he's sure that jaebum will be asleep when he returns. he knows that jaebum has noticed the change, but the older doesn’t say anything about it.
jinyoung happens to be in the room for a quick nap when he hears the door open, and he almost pretends to be asleep until he glimpses a blooming bruise on the right side of jaebum's face. leaping up, he stares wide-eyed at the other boy who looks surprised to see him in the room as well. jinyoung grabs jaebum and sits him down on the bed firmly, pulling out the box which they had filled with emergency supplies because jaebum is a b-boy and gets odd bruises all the time.
but jinyoung has never seen one as huge as the one on jaebum's face, and without asking, he knows that jaebum's temper had gotten the better of him again.
cradling the older's face in his hands, he rubs a thumb across the purplish blue, trembling slightly. jaebum's breathing is light against his fingers, and his eyelashes flutter as jinyoung gently runs his digits across a bleeding lip.
("does it hurt?"
"you avoiding me hurts more.")
jinyoung stops, shocked at the other's frank words and eyes dropping to the ground guiltily. threading his fingers through jinyoung's hair softly, jaebum leans forward. the younger feels jaebum's breath fanning across his cheeks and the soft puffs of air against his lips when jaebum pauses, as if silently asking him for permission just before he presses their lips together, eyes falling shut. jinyoung's heartbeat is thundering in his ears, and all he feels is how soft and chapped jaebum's lips are against his, and he decides "fuck it", and kisses back with all the strength he can muster, tongue licking its way into jaebum's parted lips.
it feels like forever until they break away, gasping for air, lips swollen and abused, heat flowing through their veins. jinyoung, for the first time, sees how beautiful jaebum is, even with the patches of purple and blue hues, cheeks flushed red. he places a fleeting kiss on jaebum's forehead, and smiles when jaebum pulls him into a warm and familiar embrace.
("i'm sorry for ignoring you."
"you better be, brat.")
-
training remains just as tough, but made bearable by feather light brushes of lips against lips, warm cuddles at night and soft breaths on the back of jinyoung's neck as he falls asleep.
-
in the months leading up to debut, jinyoung feels like he can hardly breathe. he barely remembers the fact that the date was september 21st as he hurries over the routine repeatedly, groaning in frustration as the instructor shakes his head again and again.
jaebum doesn’t forget though.
the nth time jaebum smacks jinyoung awake, it was exactly 2.17 in the morning and jinyoung is completely worn out from practice despite being released earlier than usual at 1.
("what is it?
"let's sneak out."
"okay.")
jaebum leads jinyoung out through the familiar corridor, avoiding the same spots and glancing around quickly to make sure nobody was around. his grip on jinyoung's hand was familiar and tight as jinyoung follows behind aimlessly, still half-asleep.
when they burst into the night air again, jaebum doesn’t drag jinyoung into the ice cream shop like usual. instead, he smiles brightly at jinyoung who blinks curiously back.
jinyoung's fingers are hot and sticky as jaebum intertwines them together, and the younger protests feebly as jaebum pulls him to a street stall and orders a plate of steaming spicy rice cakes. jaebum grins as he feeds jinyoung, and they both blow at the rice cakes till jinyoung feels comfortable enough to have them in his mouth. jinyoung feels a smile creep up onto his face at how silly jaebum is and resists the urge to pinch his cheeks.
("you have sauce at the corner of your lips."
"where?")
jinyoung blushes furiously when jaebum pushes the younger's hands away from his face and leans in, his tongue swipes over said area as he smirks. weakly, jinyoung throws a punch at jaebum's arm, heartbeat stuttering dangerously in his chest.
jinyoung has barely digested the food before jaebum whips out a pair of amusement park tickets, and knocking jinyoung's legs out from underneath him, scoops the other up quickly.
(" what the hell do you think you are doing?"
"sweeping you off your feet of course, what else?")
jinyoung thinks jaebum should thank his lucky stars that the amusement park is less than five minutes away from the dormitories because it is still quite a feat to carry a full grown boy while running no matter how built you are. but he can't help but chuckle and lean his head against jaebum's broad chest as the other laughs carefreely and adjusts his arms to hold jinyoung. it is in this pair of arms that jinyoung feels the safest in, and he knows that nobody can take them away from him as he listens to the soft thrum of the heart that he knows will always beat for him.
-
jinyoung remembers the blinking lights, the quiet of the amusement park (it was after all pretty damn early in the morning), and the sweet taste of pink candy floss on his tongue. he remembers the way the rollercoaster dips and swerves randomly, and the dizziness of being on the pretty carousel.
but imprinted the most clearly in his head was the blinking lights reflected in jaebum's eyes like stars, the sound of jaebum's eager voice as they approach a ride, and the even sweeter taste of jaebum's lips melding together with his. seared into his brain is the way jaebum's hold on his hand never loosens no matter which way the roller coaster goes, and the dizziness of seeing jaebum's lips pull up into a huge smile as he lifts jinyoung onto a plastic horse and throws his head back in laughter, looking absolutely child-like and breathtaking in the flashy display lights all around them.
-
jinyoung is exhausted by the time they make it out of the amusement park, but he follows willingly as jaebum enters the all so familiar ice cream shop to get their orders, and brings jinyoung to the very same spot on the ledge they sat on when they went on their first escapade.
they both climb on, and swing their legs in sync as they lick at their cones. jinyoung doesn’t complain when jaebum tangles their fingers that are sticky with half melted ice cream together, instead squeezing the other's hand gently in his hold. they both gaze across the silent surface of the river, enjoying the presence of each other and jinyoung feels his heart swell as he glances at the boy beside him.
jaebum's features have sharpened into a man's, but the lights still fall across his face as the same shadows, and his eyes are still bright with the same thrill. things have changed, and yet, both of them have not.
this time when jaebum turns to meet his eyes, jinyoung doesn’t look away. a hand curls around the back of his neck and pulls him closer, till he can see nothing but jaebum's face, and the other rubs his nose against jinyoung's gently before tilting his head and leaning in, brushing his lips lightly against jinyoung's. jaebum's lips are still as soft, still as chapped, but jinyoung wants nothing more. jaebum breathes out and gazes at jinyoung, the tenderness in his eyes stunning the younger.
("happy birthday, park jinyoung."
"thank you, im jaebum.")
the night sky is dark, and the only stars jinyoung sees are the ones shining in jaebum's eyes and he realises for the nth time how beautiful jaebum is under the bath of the soft moonlight.
-
jinyoung knows that more and more memories will clutter his head as he goes along, and one day he'll be too old to have any space in his head left for the small pecks jaebum gave him when they were young and naïve. but he knows that in his heart, he'll always have space for the boy who became his ocean that will always be vast enough to hold him when he cries, his star that will always guide him again and again through the pitch black corridor to the ice cream shop, and his sun that will always burn bright for him.
in his heart, there will always be a special spot for that one boy who has unknowingly become his everything.
jaebum/jinyoung; pg-13
slight angst (??), predebut jjp
a/n: wrote this sometime ago but only got the courage to post it now ;;; based loosely on beautiful by b.i and bobby ((the jjproject pairing is my guilty pleasure))
-
jinyoung remembers the first time he stands on stage not as plain old park jinyoung, but as jr of jj project very clearly, perhaps even more clearly than the debut stage with got7. it's not that he doesn’t like got7; they are, after all, his brothers. however by then the novelty of standing on stage had already worn off so naturally things felt simpler.
but what jinyoung remembers so clearly from that may 22nd was not the heat of the bright lights, flashing cameras or the screaming fans. neither was it the rush from the company to the backstage, the stylists fussing over his hair or the overwhelming number of sunbaes that he had to greet almost every two seconds.
it is the twisting feeling in his stomach that he remembers clearer than anything else. his non-stop squirming and fiddling with his hair, making sure that every strand was in place. he ties extra knots on his shoelaces to make sure that he won't trip by accident on jj project's debut stage, and clasps and unclasps the numerous braclets and necklaces that adorn his wrists and neck. he was twisting his fingers into his shirt nervously when a hand drops gently on to his, and untangles the clammy digits from the fabric.
("calm down. You'll wrinkle your clothes."
"sorry.")
jinyoung stills at the warm, husky voice that he had grown so familiar with over the past few years, and he relaxes slightly. jaebum slides onto the empty space next to jinyoung on the worn out sofa and offers the younger a grin.
("are you ready?" )
jinyoung feels like saying no, but he nods stiffly and attempts to return the smile. jaebum chuckles at his anxiety and earns himself a punch to the shoulder from the disgruntled younger. he laughs it off, forcing open jinyoung's fists that were clenched tight on his lap and tangles his fingers with those on jinyoung's left hand, despite the cold sweat that wont dry up no matter how much he tries to get rid of it. lifting their intertwined hands, jaebum runs his lips across the other's knuckles.
("we'll be fine.")
later, just a few seconds before they step on to their stage, jinyoung grabs jaebum's hand and the elder looks up at him in mild surprise. the younger reaches out a hand to adjust jaebum's mic.
("we'll be fine.")
the two snap out of the world of their own when the director yells "now!" and hand in hand, they both run up into the dazzling spotlights, cheers and their road to stardom.
-
other than times spent as jj project, in the very very special corner of his mind, jinyoung hides memories of things way before jj project debuted. memories of sweating it out in the practice room every single moment he was awake, memories of the instructor's harsh words that pricked him again and again and memories of the stressful monthly evaluations by the real park jinyoung himself.
but most of all, he remembers jaebum.
the day the two boys met, jinyoung knew that he would be seeing this face more than often, and he was right. he spends almost every waking moment going through dance steps with jaebum (whom he eventually finds out tied with him in the auditions), and they are allocated to the same dormitory. he eats breakfast, lunch and dinner with the older boy, attends vocal lessons with him, sneaks in a joke or two between their short water breaks and strolls back to their shared room at unearthly hours in the morning together when they are finally done with practice. jinyoung, rightfully, should be pretty sick of seeing the same person everytime he opens his eyes, but strangely, he wasn’t.
the two become close friends, and jaebum's presence becomes so familiar in jinyoung's life that he doesn’t remember what it was like not to have lived without jaebum barging into his personal space every second of the day.
the first time jaebum smacks jinyoung awake, it was exactly 2.17 in the morning, and jinyoung was feeling extra grumpy from being awakened for a reason that he knows is surely not legitimate.
("what is it?"
"let's sneak out."
"what the fuck im jaebum.")
jinyoung is dragged out of the warm covers against his will and jaebum pulls a sweater over the younger's head sloppily, tugging him out of the door and tiptoeing softly along the dark corridor. glancing around occasionally, his hand clutches jinyoung's tightly, and jinyoung in his sleep-induced confusion wonders what jaebum is doing. this isn't the stickler for rules that he knows so well.
the nearer they get to the exit at the back where they are less likely to get caught, the more nervous jinyoung feels. his heartbeat thunders in his ears along with their soft breathing and an occasional stray sound that makes his heart leap to his throat but jaebum pulls him quickly out of his fear and finally they stumble into the cool night air, panting heavily and relieved at the thought that they had managed to get out so smoothly. jinyoung barely rests for 3 seconds before jaebum's fingers wrap themselves around his wrist and pull him into an ice cream shop, laughing delightedly like a little kid. they stare in wonder at the colourful array of sweet desserts as jaebum digs out his wallet from his pocket.
("what do you want?"
"you did not just seriously wake me up to come here to ge-"
"im getting strawberry for you.")
jinyoung blinks indignantly as jaebum grabs their orders and guides him out of the shop, and to a small bridge overlooking a river.
jaebum swings his legs over the ledge of the bridge and settles down comfortably, licking at his cone and offering jinyoung's to him. shrugging, the younger clambers up and decides that he might as well eat the ice cream since it’s a treat from the usually stingy elder.
both of their legs begin to move forwards and backwards in sync, as they look over the frozen river and the blurry reflections of light on it, tongues working on the dessert. jinyoung is mesmerised by the way the lights from the buildings nearby fall as shadows across the sharp planes of jaebum's face, and jaebum's eyes glinting with wild excitement instead of the usual sombre. he stares and stares until jaebum turns and meets his eyes. jumping in surprise, jinyoung immediately turns away, embarrassed at being caught staring. he chooses to concentrate on his ice cream instead as heat rises up in his cheeks.
they lick till their fingers are sticky from the melted dessert and their tongues are sweet with chocolate and strawberry, and jaebum lets out a comfortable sigh before hopping off the ledge and offering a hand to jinyoung.
grabbing it, jinyoung jumps down, and follows jaebum's quick strides back to the dormitories, his breath coming out in cold puffs of air.
these thrilling escapades soon becomes a weekly thing though jinyoung's body never adjusts to the bizarre timings and the route to escape, instead letting jaebum grip firmly onto his hand and lead him out, avoiding the steps that creak.
jaebum doesn’t say anything on their nightly outings, and jinyoung doesn’t ask. he understands enough just by sitting on the same old ledge and eating the same old flavour of ice cream.
jinyoung thinks that sneaking out is pretty nice, if not just as nice as the feeling of jaebum's warmth beside him and strawberry ice cream inside him.
-
training begins to get way tougher, as both of them stay up till wee hours in the morning to make sure that they don’t slip up by accident and fail this month's evaluation. it's hard for jinyoung, who is still in his growing stages, and sometimes jinyoung feels like his dream is too far away. it's those days that he coops himself up in the practice room, going over the same beat and moves over and over again till his limbs feel like jelly and sweat is pouring out of every pore in his body. it's those days that jaebum switches off the music player and gathers the smaller boy into his arms, letting him sit in a daze in the other's hold till the dam built up of jinyoung's faltering will breaks and the tears flow out uncontrollably. it's those days that jinyoung lets his tears run into jaebum's sweat soaked shirt and feels jaebum's fingers stroking his hair gently, rubbing the small of his back.
it's those days that jaebum tucks jinyoung into bed, and softly sings, lulling the younger into a comfortable sleep.
jaebum was his very own heaven, in that moment all jinyoung had was him, and the younger knows that with jaebum, everything will be okay.
-
it's in the months approaching july when the nights start to become muggy, and their air conditioner chooses to betray them by letting out a last loud sigh and breaking down. jinyoung wants to tear his hair out at the unbearable heat, tossing and turning on the mattress that feels soaked from the sweat seeping through his shirt. He barely manages to fall asleep as morning approaches.
the next day when jaebum enters the room after dance practice, jinyoung almost chokes on his ramen.
("why the heck are you shirtless?"
"it's too hot. take your shirt off too. it helps loads.")
in all the years jinyoung has known jaebum, he has never felt this nervous being around him. gulping down his saliva, he tries to focus on the television instead of jaebum's taut back muscles behind him as the older types away on his phone, but it's proving impossible. jinyoung doesn’t exactly understand the flush creeping up the back of his neck and the fluttering of his heart, and the warmth that spreads across his cheeks and down south when jaebum leans down from the back to steal a bite of his noodles. he almost kicks the chair back in his hurry to stand up and shoves his food into jaebum's hands before running to the bathroom and slamming the door, ignoring jaebum's confused eyes that follow him. breathing too fast to be normal, he splashes water onto his face and slaps himself twice to attempt to rid his head of his new self discovery.
it doesn’t work.
-
jinyoung begins to avoid every moment that he has to spend alone with jaebum in the room, instead choosing to dance over and over in the practice room until he's sure that jaebum will be asleep when he returns. he knows that jaebum has noticed the change, but the older doesn’t say anything about it.
jinyoung happens to be in the room for a quick nap when he hears the door open, and he almost pretends to be asleep until he glimpses a blooming bruise on the right side of jaebum's face. leaping up, he stares wide-eyed at the other boy who looks surprised to see him in the room as well. jinyoung grabs jaebum and sits him down on the bed firmly, pulling out the box which they had filled with emergency supplies because jaebum is a b-boy and gets odd bruises all the time.
but jinyoung has never seen one as huge as the one on jaebum's face, and without asking, he knows that jaebum's temper had gotten the better of him again.
cradling the older's face in his hands, he rubs a thumb across the purplish blue, trembling slightly. jaebum's breathing is light against his fingers, and his eyelashes flutter as jinyoung gently runs his digits across a bleeding lip.
("does it hurt?"
"you avoiding me hurts more.")
jinyoung stops, shocked at the other's frank words and eyes dropping to the ground guiltily. threading his fingers through jinyoung's hair softly, jaebum leans forward. the younger feels jaebum's breath fanning across his cheeks and the soft puffs of air against his lips when jaebum pauses, as if silently asking him for permission just before he presses their lips together, eyes falling shut. jinyoung's heartbeat is thundering in his ears, and all he feels is how soft and chapped jaebum's lips are against his, and he decides "fuck it", and kisses back with all the strength he can muster, tongue licking its way into jaebum's parted lips.
it feels like forever until they break away, gasping for air, lips swollen and abused, heat flowing through their veins. jinyoung, for the first time, sees how beautiful jaebum is, even with the patches of purple and blue hues, cheeks flushed red. he places a fleeting kiss on jaebum's forehead, and smiles when jaebum pulls him into a warm and familiar embrace.
("i'm sorry for ignoring you."
"you better be, brat.")
-
training remains just as tough, but made bearable by feather light brushes of lips against lips, warm cuddles at night and soft breaths on the back of jinyoung's neck as he falls asleep.
-
in the months leading up to debut, jinyoung feels like he can hardly breathe. he barely remembers the fact that the date was september 21st as he hurries over the routine repeatedly, groaning in frustration as the instructor shakes his head again and again.
jaebum doesn’t forget though.
the nth time jaebum smacks jinyoung awake, it was exactly 2.17 in the morning and jinyoung is completely worn out from practice despite being released earlier than usual at 1.
("what is it?
"let's sneak out."
"okay.")
jaebum leads jinyoung out through the familiar corridor, avoiding the same spots and glancing around quickly to make sure nobody was around. his grip on jinyoung's hand was familiar and tight as jinyoung follows behind aimlessly, still half-asleep.
when they burst into the night air again, jaebum doesn’t drag jinyoung into the ice cream shop like usual. instead, he smiles brightly at jinyoung who blinks curiously back.
jinyoung's fingers are hot and sticky as jaebum intertwines them together, and the younger protests feebly as jaebum pulls him to a street stall and orders a plate of steaming spicy rice cakes. jaebum grins as he feeds jinyoung, and they both blow at the rice cakes till jinyoung feels comfortable enough to have them in his mouth. jinyoung feels a smile creep up onto his face at how silly jaebum is and resists the urge to pinch his cheeks.
("you have sauce at the corner of your lips."
"where?")
jinyoung blushes furiously when jaebum pushes the younger's hands away from his face and leans in, his tongue swipes over said area as he smirks. weakly, jinyoung throws a punch at jaebum's arm, heartbeat stuttering dangerously in his chest.
jinyoung has barely digested the food before jaebum whips out a pair of amusement park tickets, and knocking jinyoung's legs out from underneath him, scoops the other up quickly.
(" what the hell do you think you are doing?"
"sweeping you off your feet of course, what else?")
jinyoung thinks jaebum should thank his lucky stars that the amusement park is less than five minutes away from the dormitories because it is still quite a feat to carry a full grown boy while running no matter how built you are. but he can't help but chuckle and lean his head against jaebum's broad chest as the other laughs carefreely and adjusts his arms to hold jinyoung. it is in this pair of arms that jinyoung feels the safest in, and he knows that nobody can take them away from him as he listens to the soft thrum of the heart that he knows will always beat for him.
-
jinyoung remembers the blinking lights, the quiet of the amusement park (it was after all pretty damn early in the morning), and the sweet taste of pink candy floss on his tongue. he remembers the way the rollercoaster dips and swerves randomly, and the dizziness of being on the pretty carousel.
but imprinted the most clearly in his head was the blinking lights reflected in jaebum's eyes like stars, the sound of jaebum's eager voice as they approach a ride, and the even sweeter taste of jaebum's lips melding together with his. seared into his brain is the way jaebum's hold on his hand never loosens no matter which way the roller coaster goes, and the dizziness of seeing jaebum's lips pull up into a huge smile as he lifts jinyoung onto a plastic horse and throws his head back in laughter, looking absolutely child-like and breathtaking in the flashy display lights all around them.
-
jinyoung is exhausted by the time they make it out of the amusement park, but he follows willingly as jaebum enters the all so familiar ice cream shop to get their orders, and brings jinyoung to the very same spot on the ledge they sat on when they went on their first escapade.
they both climb on, and swing their legs in sync as they lick at their cones. jinyoung doesn’t complain when jaebum tangles their fingers that are sticky with half melted ice cream together, instead squeezing the other's hand gently in his hold. they both gaze across the silent surface of the river, enjoying the presence of each other and jinyoung feels his heart swell as he glances at the boy beside him.
jaebum's features have sharpened into a man's, but the lights still fall across his face as the same shadows, and his eyes are still bright with the same thrill. things have changed, and yet, both of them have not.
this time when jaebum turns to meet his eyes, jinyoung doesn’t look away. a hand curls around the back of his neck and pulls him closer, till he can see nothing but jaebum's face, and the other rubs his nose against jinyoung's gently before tilting his head and leaning in, brushing his lips lightly against jinyoung's. jaebum's lips are still as soft, still as chapped, but jinyoung wants nothing more. jaebum breathes out and gazes at jinyoung, the tenderness in his eyes stunning the younger.
("happy birthday, park jinyoung."
"thank you, im jaebum.")
the night sky is dark, and the only stars jinyoung sees are the ones shining in jaebum's eyes and he realises for the nth time how beautiful jaebum is under the bath of the soft moonlight.
-
jinyoung knows that more and more memories will clutter his head as he goes along, and one day he'll be too old to have any space in his head left for the small pecks jaebum gave him when they were young and naïve. but he knows that in his heart, he'll always have space for the boy who became his ocean that will always be vast enough to hold him when he cries, his star that will always guide him again and again through the pitch black corridor to the ice cream shop, and his sun that will always burn bright for him.
in his heart, there will always be a special spot for that one boy who has unknowingly become his everything.