the nice mixed with some tweex is the perfect rush
I am finally off of work. Going home to more depression. I hit rock bottom in December I guess I have hit it again. I am doing better and I am still angry at myself. I do not mean to be mean but it is my nature. I am tired and still in debate whether I want to go to Melrose tomorrow. I do not know and I am extra confused. I hurt in the bottom of my tummy. I could not feel more regret then this and for once someone has been able to get in side my head. It is really hard to smoke and type at the same time. anyways i need some one to save me fast. And sex is few and far between. I am on my rag so I am sure that does not help either. For once I do not have the chemical inbalance to blame. I have decided that to continue my journal. I made a vow not to mention names and to keep as vague as possible when writting about other people. I owe to Chuck for he is one of the reason to live. I feel like I am sucking up to him. which I am not. well remember to love me