Some days
I feel extrememly abandoned...I spent everyday with you, and now I feel so lucky when I see you...maybe i'm just selfish...maybe i'm irrational...maybe i'm the bitch. Today, I made a joke that you didn't find very funny. I"m sorry i upset you. I've told you this already but you don't care. Now i'm trying to hide this pain with a coat of vodka, and it's not working. I feel like i'm loosing you, which is enuf to drive me off the edge, especially now. I've lost everything I knew and loved, and used you as a replacement. Now I feel like theres nothing. I'm so depressed on a daily basis, i want to quit and just say fuck it all. I suppose I see a pattern. I destroy everything I hold to closely. I only know two things right now...I love you and if I lose you I don't think I'll be able to handle it. right now i feel like driving into a tree. I drank a fifth of vodka...dare me to drive?