Damnit
Yesterday was my brother's birthday, so we went to a restaurant. After lunch, he decided he wanted to go out so he made us all go out. But see, the night before i went out with some friends, didn't even come back home, i slept over at my friends house. I slept well though, cause i slept in vincent's arms =)
but i still didn't get enough sleep...so i was bored when we went out last night, cause they took me to a small club that they often go to, and i swear i must have been the youngest person there! so then my friend fanny came to join me there, and after a while we got tired of being there, and one guy we were there with was leaving, so i called Dave's cell phone and asked him to put me on the guest list at Roxy, so we went to see him there. i was fucking tired, and it was EMPTY at roxy's! I had only like 4 drinks during the whole night. And then around 2h10 am, i looked at my cell phone, just to realise that i had missed a call..... sure enough it was Vince's call that i missed! i was so pissed off, but i called him back anyway, even though he had called me one hour earlier... and so we talked for maybe like 3 minutes, and i asked him, well did you call for something in particular, or just to talk? and he said well i wanted to know what you were doing, im at home and bored cause my back is killing me.. so i told him we were at roxy and he said, oh well i wouldnt have went out anyway, but i would have been willing to watch a movie or something.
AGH. why do these things only seem to happen to me! lol, i would have also liked to spend a quiet evening with Vince, just watching a movie, and *maybe* just *maybe*, we could have cuddled a little... =)
hehe oh well, im still happy that he called me on his own! cause for the past two weeks, it was always me calling him, and i felt so annoying! Cause he knew i wanted us to talk, so whenever i would invite him to do something, he was always cautious, and would always find some excuses. But we talked like 2 days ago, so im glad that things are fine now between us!
it was fucked up when we talked. Cause i just asked him "Vince before you leave, could you please just update me on what is going on in your head at the moment?" and so he told me that he thought i was getting attached a little too quickly and that he doesnt want to hurt me, but hes not ready to jump in a relation ship right now, so i went like "woah, who said anything about a relation!" and he went like, well i thought maybe that was what you wanted. so i cleared things up for him, i said "well, im gonna be honest with you, i do have feelings for you, but i sure as hell am NOT ready for a relation ship either! it's just that when we sleep or spend some time together, i dont have the feeling that there is nothing between us. it really feels as though you care for me, and i wanted to make sure that it's not only for sex, ya know" and hes like, well yeah, i like you a lot, we get along super well, and we spend some really good time together, i just dont want you to be expecting some kind of relation, cause i dont want you to hurt. and he then asked me if i was ok with the "we sleep together, but were not a couple" kinda relation, and i guess i am, of cours, if lets say i find out he slept with somebody else, then it would hurt, cause i do have feelings for him, but for now, hes only been sleeping with me, so as long as it stays that way, pff, no problem homie hehe
and that same night we talked, we went out at Campus, and he grabbed me by the waist and said (that was really funny lol) "you know, this is probable gonna sound like some drunk guy speech, but it's true.... (looks at me in the eyes) you could have me anytime you wanted....(shy smile and kiss on the neck)" and that night, we went back at his cousin's house, and he told me "if you want to leave and go home right now, im leaving with you, if you want to sleep here, i'll give you a ride home tomorrow morning" but he was already in his boxers, so im like, ok ill just sleep over. so all three of us slept in Daves bed, surprisingly we were all very comfy, and Vince cuddled the whole night! aww it felt good, hehe
and Ugh, im working at 4, and i really dont feel like working. so, i'd better get started on the chores that i have to do before work, or else, my house will stay dirty forever!
but i still didn't get enough sleep...so i was bored when we went out last night, cause they took me to a small club that they often go to, and i swear i must have been the youngest person there! so then my friend fanny came to join me there, and after a while we got tired of being there, and one guy we were there with was leaving, so i called Dave's cell phone and asked him to put me on the guest list at Roxy, so we went to see him there. i was fucking tired, and it was EMPTY at roxy's! I had only like 4 drinks during the whole night. And then around 2h10 am, i looked at my cell phone, just to realise that i had missed a call..... sure enough it was Vince's call that i missed! i was so pissed off, but i called him back anyway, even though he had called me one hour earlier... and so we talked for maybe like 3 minutes, and i asked him, well did you call for something in particular, or just to talk? and he said well i wanted to know what you were doing, im at home and bored cause my back is killing me.. so i told him we were at roxy and he said, oh well i wouldnt have went out anyway, but i would have been willing to watch a movie or something.
AGH. why do these things only seem to happen to me! lol, i would have also liked to spend a quiet evening with Vince, just watching a movie, and *maybe* just *maybe*, we could have cuddled a little... =)
hehe oh well, im still happy that he called me on his own! cause for the past two weeks, it was always me calling him, and i felt so annoying! Cause he knew i wanted us to talk, so whenever i would invite him to do something, he was always cautious, and would always find some excuses. But we talked like 2 days ago, so im glad that things are fine now between us!
it was fucked up when we talked. Cause i just asked him "Vince before you leave, could you please just update me on what is going on in your head at the moment?" and so he told me that he thought i was getting attached a little too quickly and that he doesnt want to hurt me, but hes not ready to jump in a relation ship right now, so i went like "woah, who said anything about a relation!" and he went like, well i thought maybe that was what you wanted. so i cleared things up for him, i said "well, im gonna be honest with you, i do have feelings for you, but i sure as hell am NOT ready for a relation ship either! it's just that when we sleep or spend some time together, i dont have the feeling that there is nothing between us. it really feels as though you care for me, and i wanted to make sure that it's not only for sex, ya know" and hes like, well yeah, i like you a lot, we get along super well, and we spend some really good time together, i just dont want you to be expecting some kind of relation, cause i dont want you to hurt. and he then asked me if i was ok with the "we sleep together, but were not a couple" kinda relation, and i guess i am, of cours, if lets say i find out he slept with somebody else, then it would hurt, cause i do have feelings for him, but for now, hes only been sleeping with me, so as long as it stays that way, pff, no problem homie hehe
and that same night we talked, we went out at Campus, and he grabbed me by the waist and said (that was really funny lol) "you know, this is probable gonna sound like some drunk guy speech, but it's true.... (looks at me in the eyes) you could have me anytime you wanted....(shy smile and kiss on the neck)" and that night, we went back at his cousin's house, and he told me "if you want to leave and go home right now, im leaving with you, if you want to sleep here, i'll give you a ride home tomorrow morning" but he was already in his boxers, so im like, ok ill just sleep over. so all three of us slept in Daves bed, surprisingly we were all very comfy, and Vince cuddled the whole night! aww it felt good, hehe
and Ugh, im working at 4, and i really dont feel like working. so, i'd better get started on the chores that i have to do before work, or else, my house will stay dirty forever!