we are born to die over and over again
we had a possum in our garage tonight. he was cool and moved slow like a robot.
now both reese and rich are convinced i'm bi.... oy vey. but its kinda funny.
NOTE: it was NOT tory that i have a crush on... sorry babe, love ya just not that way.
i asked david to go to the concert with me. i hope we have fun. (he's not my crush either, just a really old friend) i hope reese goes too. i want to see him, but i don't. cuz if i do, i'll think about him all night and i really don't think david wants to spend a whole night of me talking about reese. and i don't really have a logical reason for wanting to see reese there, i just do.
several friends have come to the conclusion that i need a makeout buddy. i tend to agree with them. i really need a kiss. and when reese smiles, i want to kiss him so bad. he's so beautiful when he smiles and laughs. but i can't do that. i've thought about it- many times. just randomly kissing him. but i can't- if i did, i think this situation would hurt so much worse, and that would be more than i could handle. although i wouldn't mind if HE kissed ME. i just don't know how we would deal with that. however, someone that would hold me, someone i could kiss, sounds like a mighty fine idea to me. i keep imagining me standing somewhere with someone's arms around my waist, their chin in the nape of my neck, just listening to me talk. or lying in someone's arms, like i used to do with reese all the time. aie. forever and ever, i'm going to compare anyone that i date to reese. i'm going to want them to have to measure up to what he was/is and be better. just what he is is not going to be good enough. however, i may never date again if that is the case.
thing is, i want someone, but i don't want him to have someone. how hypocritical is that?! oh well...
and i know, i know, i need to shut up about reese. but this IS a journal, and this is what i think about. so if you have a problem, get over it.
now both reese and rich are convinced i'm bi.... oy vey. but its kinda funny.
NOTE: it was NOT tory that i have a crush on... sorry babe, love ya just not that way.
i asked david to go to the concert with me. i hope we have fun. (he's not my crush either, just a really old friend) i hope reese goes too. i want to see him, but i don't. cuz if i do, i'll think about him all night and i really don't think david wants to spend a whole night of me talking about reese. and i don't really have a logical reason for wanting to see reese there, i just do.
several friends have come to the conclusion that i need a makeout buddy. i tend to agree with them. i really need a kiss. and when reese smiles, i want to kiss him so bad. he's so beautiful when he smiles and laughs. but i can't do that. i've thought about it- many times. just randomly kissing him. but i can't- if i did, i think this situation would hurt so much worse, and that would be more than i could handle. although i wouldn't mind if HE kissed ME. i just don't know how we would deal with that. however, someone that would hold me, someone i could kiss, sounds like a mighty fine idea to me. i keep imagining me standing somewhere with someone's arms around my waist, their chin in the nape of my neck, just listening to me talk. or lying in someone's arms, like i used to do with reese all the time. aie. forever and ever, i'm going to compare anyone that i date to reese. i'm going to want them to have to measure up to what he was/is and be better. just what he is is not going to be good enough. however, i may never date again if that is the case.
thing is, i want someone, but i don't want him to have someone. how hypocritical is that?! oh well...
and i know, i know, i need to shut up about reese. but this IS a journal, and this is what i think about. so if you have a problem, get over it.