(no subject)
......everything is so stressful. no matter what it seems like i always have a headache. i just dont know what to do anymore. in all seriousness. i mean.. when i mess up and do bad things i get fucking yelled at and called names, but when teddy does them i always forgive him and its ok in his book. like when he kissed those 3 girls. and when he calls me fucked up shit. (cunt, whore, slut) im not the only one who always said that it would take me so long to get over him. im still not over him! but when he broke up with me so long ago because he wanted to do stuff blah blah blah he kissed those two girls what?? the day of or the day after he broke up with me?? come on.
i miss him so much, but he doesnt understand what it does to me when he talks about other girls and tries to rub it in my face, pretty much. he usually just says these things because hes mad. i cant take it. i mean, i have been waiting for him and melissa to get together for how long now? ever since that shit she wrote in her other journal, while ted and i were still together. hes never had to deal with that. i didnt lie to him like he lied to me. i didnt keep things from him. even now i dont. and yet he still does. i am so honest with him. the way i see it is what do i have to gain from lying. that's one thing HE never realized. if you lie to someone, it's only going to hurt them more when they find out you've been hiding things from them.
ugh, im so fucking tired right now. ive been trying to have fun lately. i mean, i never really got to do alot before for numerous reasons. the 20 questions, the jealousy, certain people were off limits, etc. etc. yesterday i hung out with chris and sara. that was good. and tonight i hung out with lhammone and a bunch of other people. i didnt feel well though. i was tired as hell and my head really hurt. i love that kid though, he's so goddamn funny. we went to wendys and then rented supersize me. fun fun :)
i should get to sleep, since i am going to work with jess tomorrow.
i miss him so much, but he doesnt understand what it does to me when he talks about other girls and tries to rub it in my face, pretty much. he usually just says these things because hes mad. i cant take it. i mean, i have been waiting for him and melissa to get together for how long now? ever since that shit she wrote in her other journal, while ted and i were still together. hes never had to deal with that. i didnt lie to him like he lied to me. i didnt keep things from him. even now i dont. and yet he still does. i am so honest with him. the way i see it is what do i have to gain from lying. that's one thing HE never realized. if you lie to someone, it's only going to hurt them more when they find out you've been hiding things from them.
ugh, im so fucking tired right now. ive been trying to have fun lately. i mean, i never really got to do alot before for numerous reasons. the 20 questions, the jealousy, certain people were off limits, etc. etc. yesterday i hung out with chris and sara. that was good. and tonight i hung out with lhammone and a bunch of other people. i didnt feel well though. i was tired as hell and my head really hurt. i love that kid though, he's so goddamn funny. we went to wendys and then rented supersize me. fun fun :)
i should get to sleep, since i am going to work with jess tomorrow.