O Brother Where Art Thou?
Step one: you say we need to talk.
He walks-- you say "Sit down, it's just a talk."
He smiles politely back at you,
You stare politely right on through.
Some sort of window to your right--
As he goes left and you stay right.
Between the lines of fear and blame,
You begin to wonder why you came.
Let him know that you know best--
Cause after all you do know best.
Try to slip past his defense,
Without granting innocence.
Lay down a list of what is wrong--
The things you've told him all along,
And pray to God he hears you.
And pray to God he hears you...
As he begins to raise his voice,
You lower yours, and grant him one last choice.
Drive until you lose the road--
Or break with the ones you've followed.
He will do one of two things--
He will admit to everything.
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend,
Somewhere along in the bitterness,
And I would have stayed up with you all night,
Had I known how to save a life.
It's been a while since I've had to deal with family drama, but then again, it's been awhile since I've been part of a family and that goes the territory. But I have to say I'm amazed at how much I've learned from all of it. It's different this time, because it's not me causing the drama, and because I'm dealing it as being the head of my own family within the bigger one. Trials are amazing because they are like pop-quizzes on how your growing up is going. What kind of person you've become. How you were processing reality, people, relationships. On the positive, I found that while I still consider myself a man of deep passion, at the center of that is a core of rationality I never realized was so solid and calm. It's something that I found key when you just need a place to be. Sometimes part of you just needs to hole up and look at things, and in this case, I'm glad I could do that.
So -- my brother. I won't bore anyone with the details. But what I will say is that I had to take a step back and make a realization: that the relationship I worked on so hard with simply didn't exist, and that was the crux of my frustration, anger, and stress. I had assumed too much. All the while I was saying that there was a breakdown in communication, but the reality was that I wasn't looking at it. I had an idea in my head that didn't match with the facts on paper, and this was burning me at every corner.
I think people are expecting me to be angry or bitter, but the truth is -- I'm neither. He's not any different from the hundreds of people I'm surrounded with on a daily basis -- they have no interest in me, so I don't bend over backwards trying to care about it or, really, them. My assumption to the opposite had me angry over unreturned phone calls, not being let in, and not getting invited to his wedding. Though I thought his behavior foolish, I have to consider that I was the fool all along.
Oh, but he was still being stupid.
"Well in fact, well I'll look at it this way, I mean technically our marriage is saved--
Well this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne!"
I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
He walks-- you say "Sit down, it's just a talk."
He smiles politely back at you,
You stare politely right on through.
Some sort of window to your right--
As he goes left and you stay right.
Between the lines of fear and blame,
You begin to wonder why you came.
Let him know that you know best--
Cause after all you do know best.
Try to slip past his defense,
Without granting innocence.
Lay down a list of what is wrong--
The things you've told him all along,
And pray to God he hears you.
And pray to God he hears you...
As he begins to raise his voice,
You lower yours, and grant him one last choice.
Drive until you lose the road--
Or break with the ones you've followed.
He will do one of two things--
He will admit to everything.
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend,
Somewhere along in the bitterness,
And I would have stayed up with you all night,
Had I known how to save a life.
It's been a while since I've had to deal with family drama, but then again, it's been awhile since I've been part of a family and that goes the territory. But I have to say I'm amazed at how much I've learned from all of it. It's different this time, because it's not me causing the drama, and because I'm dealing it as being the head of my own family within the bigger one. Trials are amazing because they are like pop-quizzes on how your growing up is going. What kind of person you've become. How you were processing reality, people, relationships. On the positive, I found that while I still consider myself a man of deep passion, at the center of that is a core of rationality I never realized was so solid and calm. It's something that I found key when you just need a place to be. Sometimes part of you just needs to hole up and look at things, and in this case, I'm glad I could do that.
So -- my brother. I won't bore anyone with the details. But what I will say is that I had to take a step back and make a realization: that the relationship I worked on so hard with simply didn't exist, and that was the crux of my frustration, anger, and stress. I had assumed too much. All the while I was saying that there was a breakdown in communication, but the reality was that I wasn't looking at it. I had an idea in my head that didn't match with the facts on paper, and this was burning me at every corner.
I think people are expecting me to be angry or bitter, but the truth is -- I'm neither. He's not any different from the hundreds of people I'm surrounded with on a daily basis -- they have no interest in me, so I don't bend over backwards trying to care about it or, really, them. My assumption to the opposite had me angry over unreturned phone calls, not being let in, and not getting invited to his wedding. Though I thought his behavior foolish, I have to consider that I was the fool all along.
Oh, but he was still being stupid.
"Well in fact, well I'll look at it this way, I mean technically our marriage is saved--
Well this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne!"
I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.