(no subject)
One thing I forgot to mention is that I am now starting to hate Hollywood even though I have told you all that I was starting to like it and could even picture trying to move there. The last few times we have been there I just got the feeling like I seriously don't belong. I am obviously too fat. I mean I know I am fat (obviously I have been trying to lose weight for YEARS) but most of the time I don't feel it...you know like I try to have a self esteem most times no matter how hard it is. But when I am there and talk to the "friends" we have there I feel the fatness. Like I am not good enough.
My sister and I want to do south beach again but its so damn hard because you have to seriously plan out every meal. Since moving I have worked out LESS. I used to walk at least 3 miles every other day when I was in NY snow or not. What the hell is wrong with me?
Fuck will I ever be good enough? I mean will I ever let myself think that I will. I am probably harder on myself than anyone else.
My sister and I want to do south beach again but its so damn hard because you have to seriously plan out every meal. Since moving I have worked out LESS. I used to walk at least 3 miles every other day when I was in NY snow or not. What the hell is wrong with me?
Fuck will I ever be good enough? I mean will I ever let myself think that I will. I am probably harder on myself than anyone else.