Where did you learn how to be in a relationship?
Originally published at How to Crush Without Being Crushed. You can comment here or there.
Just something quick this week as there’s a lot going on around here.
Over the last week or so, I’ve been pondering where we learn how to be in a relationship. Be it with specific others, romantic, platonic, with ourselves, or with the world in general. In part, the wondering was inspired by reading and re-reading a couple of books-some new, some old standbys for me-and some interactions with some dear friends going through some rough times.
Now, the easy and obvious answer is that we learn about relationships from the ones we observe. Right from the beginning, those would the experiences we have with our immediate family (and other primary caregivers, as the case may be).
But outside of that direct experience, our lives and habits are shaped and altered by so many other influences.
I know I was heavily influenced by the TV shows and movies I watched (an oddly large number of classics-sitcoms either from or set in the 50s and 60s far outweighed my initial exposure to more contemporary television fare, and the movies were no less classic). Later, there would be numerous books (some more metaphysical in nature than others) and a new batch of television. Eventually, in college, I actually officially studied human interaction in a number of forms as part of my curriculum.
Without a doubt, I’ll go on and on about my influences later. What I want to talk about right now is you.
Where did you learn how to be in a relationship? Tell me about the key influences that made you the kind of person you are today… books, movies, television, direct instruction from your older brother or parents… whatever. I want to know.