Know Your Enemy, Know Yourself
Originally published at The Searcher Journal. You can comment here or there.
“You are your own worst enemy” is an old saw, without question. But like many of its ilk, it holds more than a grain of truth.
Nothing can mess with us more than our own mind. And here it is important to note that the mind is different from the brain in this context. The brain is the functional part, the mind is the thing that gets in the way. It drifts, it becomes fixated on certain ideas, it chatters incessantly about nothing, it jumps from idea to idea (generated by the brain or inspired by spirit). All in all, it’s more often than not just a whole lot of noise that needs to be filtered.
For most people, it doesn’t get much more serious than that.
For some, it gets a bit worse. Not only does the mind chatter incessantly, that chatter takes on a sinister tone. It becomes that voice in your head telling you you’re not good enough, the one that erodes your confidence by reminding you of all the times you’ve failed, by dredging up the most tenuous supporting “evidence” as to why you’ll fail again. Maybe that’s tone is being caused by a short in the brain (which can be treated in most cases). Maybe it’s being caused by a broken shard of your mind from past traumatic experience (which can also be treated, though not as surely as a physical or chemical problem).
For those who choose a spiritual path, things can go one step further.
As an initiate makes his way down the road of self-discovery, that voice can become personified. It can take on shapes and forms in visions. It can be reflected in those we interact with. And all the while it seeks only to undermine that desired progress.
It becomes The Adversary.
It can take many forms, an annoying trickster, a fickle ally, that dark voice in the back of your head telling you you’re not good enough. It can even show up as the main Big Bad who seems to be behind all things unpleasant. The Adversary is as cunning as it is insidious. It knows your every move, sometimes before you do. Always, it is there, waiting for a chance to muck things up. A chance to set you back.
The Adversary is everywhere at once. It lashes back at us when dealing with others who share our strengths and weaknesses. Using them, it reflects and amplifies everything we dislike about ourselves… and then clouds the actual source of the annoyance we feel at others.
It distracts us from our actual goals-by making us chase it, by presenting challenges that pique our interest more than the task we should be doing, by outright opposing us.
But there is no “us” against “them” here. The Adversary is a part of our whole self. It’s that dark part that we try to hide-and hide from. It’s those deep rumblings of untapped power and knowledge, looking to get out on their own.
It is an integral part of not just who we are, but who we could be.
For better, or for worse.
How we deal with our Adversaries can determine a lot. The natural reaction is to fight. To fight long and hard, expending tremendous amounts of energy trying to beat them into submission or to outright destroy them. Neither of those options is possible. The more you fight it, the more powerful The Adversary becomes.
The best you can do is use The Adversary as a guide. See it for what it is-a deep source of knowledge and insight into yourself. It can even be an ally, once you understand what it wants. Knowing it is part of you, you can assert some control over it. You can negotiate with it.
Encountering The Adversary for the first time during pathwork can be disconcerting. That encounter often happens unexpectedly and, sometimes, violently. If any encounter with The Adversary in the metaphysical realm goes poorly, things in the real world can also take a nasty turn. Because it is such a vital sub-section of ourselves-and because it so hates being hidden and suppressed in the background-it can sometimes “bleed through” into our own behavior, often without us realizing.
We become sullen, angry, quick to lash out. We lie, cheat and steal-sometimes going out of our way to hurt those around us. If that’s not what we normally do, it very well could be The Adversary’s influence coming through.
This is why we need to be cognizant of our actions, why we need to understand our patters. With that knowledge, we can spot changes in them. If those changes are taking a toll on our ability to function in the “real world”, then action must be taken.
What kind of action? It depends. For some, a deeper dedication to their spiritual path-more encounters and interaction with The Adversary as a separate entity-can help. For others, more “mundane” paths of analysis like therapists can help sort out the different threads that make us up.
The simple fact is, we all have a dark side… and even the most vile human out there has at least some small spark of light. The Adversary is always a twisted reflection of the person, the other part of the whole. Yin to Yang, Light to Darkness, when it comes down to it, The Adversary completes us. Balances us.
When we take control of that balance-when we accept the fact that there is no mythical purity within us-we have the power in the relationship with the Adversary. By accepting our faults and fears, we gain control over them. We become, consciously, a more whole person.
And The Adversary… becomes an ally.