Ze German and angst
My Mom called earlier, we're meeting for dinner later. I'm not really looking forward to that, sad sad disappointment in her voice. Honey, why couldn't you have studied to become a teacher? That way you'd have a job already, and with your archaeology it's gonna be really difficult, also did you know your friend from kindergarten will marry next week? She's a year younger than you. Etc. etc. etc.
Thank you, mother. It's not like there isn't enough on my mind already with graduating and job insecurities and stuff. Yay dinner. I didn't become a teacher because I wouldn't be happy with it and I've seen how exhausted you are every evening, and "my" archaeology makes me happy. My friend from kindergarten? I don't even remember her, and I'm gonna marry when and if I find the right guy, ach, why am I even thinking about that. She's all prickly and easily annoyed lately, argues a lot with my Dad and my siblings, never happy with anything and finds stuff to criticize with everybody.
I guess now that my little brother has moved out, she suddenly realized her children are grown-up and she doesn't have as much influence about our lifes as before. Little late for that realization, I moved out 7 years ago, but whatever. So she tries to keep us in line/close by trying to still rule our lives. It's worse for me, because unlike my sister and my brother I can't really argue back. Never could, so... yeah. And I know she worries and only wants to help, but well. It hurts. Feels like nothing I do is good enough. Moms, hm?
So, I'm not all that happy right now. "Bonus" is that two of my friends haven't managed to meet with me in like three weeks. We set up a couple of dates, but they always stood me up. I'd get a text "sorry, we can't make it, we'll call soon" and then, of course, no call for days. Yeah. I know they are busy and stuff, but it sucks. I miss them and am jealous and angsting if they still like me, bah. My last text was pretty annoyed, but I didn't get an answer. They said they'd call me this weekend, we'll see how that turns out. Right now I'm at some kind of "whatever" stage, if they call me, awesome, but if they don't, they don't. I'm not chasing after them, I'll sulk pettily until they come back.
Anyway, since I'm not very cheerful at the moment, my fandom-activities are not very cheerful either. I've read a ton of really angsty fics and, yeah, I wrote some pretty angsty fics - A-Team, sorry, I'm not in the mood for Mirror!Pinto right now. *sigh* Plus, I love angsty fics, hee. Dem boys suffer so prettily.
Or a less-sad note: the workers on the first floor are starting to annoy me. Not only do they start at 7 in the morning, no, they work until 2 or 3a.m. I guess they have a schedule to keep, but still. The whole damn house vibrates when they do their stuff and it's really noisy. I'm prepared to walk down there in my PJs if the keep me from sleep again. But I probably won't, because my bed is warm and the stairway is cold and I'd have to walk down 103 steps and back up again. So, no. Instead I'm gonna sic my roomie on them, he doesn't get home before 2 a.m. anyway and when he does, he's usually drunk. Easy to influence, especially if I bribe him with food. *rubs hands* Boy can't cook for shit, always eating microwave dinners or MREs. And btw, American army food is way better than the German stuff. There's cookies and cake and icecream, for Christ's sake. It's awesome. And my roomie doesn't like candy or chocolate - IKR?? weird, weird man - so I get the dessert stuff from his MREs, which, yeah, is totally working for me... ;P
Thank you, mother. It's not like there isn't enough on my mind already with graduating and job insecurities and stuff. Yay dinner. I didn't become a teacher because I wouldn't be happy with it and I've seen how exhausted you are every evening, and "my" archaeology makes me happy. My friend from kindergarten? I don't even remember her, and I'm gonna marry when and if I find the right guy, ach, why am I even thinking about that. She's all prickly and easily annoyed lately, argues a lot with my Dad and my siblings, never happy with anything and finds stuff to criticize with everybody.
I guess now that my little brother has moved out, she suddenly realized her children are grown-up and she doesn't have as much influence about our lifes as before. Little late for that realization, I moved out 7 years ago, but whatever. So she tries to keep us in line/close by trying to still rule our lives. It's worse for me, because unlike my sister and my brother I can't really argue back. Never could, so... yeah. And I know she worries and only wants to help, but well. It hurts. Feels like nothing I do is good enough. Moms, hm?
So, I'm not all that happy right now. "Bonus" is that two of my friends haven't managed to meet with me in like three weeks. We set up a couple of dates, but they always stood me up. I'd get a text "sorry, we can't make it, we'll call soon" and then, of course, no call for days. Yeah. I know they are busy and stuff, but it sucks. I miss them and am jealous and angsting if they still like me, bah. My last text was pretty annoyed, but I didn't get an answer. They said they'd call me this weekend, we'll see how that turns out. Right now I'm at some kind of "whatever" stage, if they call me, awesome, but if they don't, they don't. I'm not chasing after them, I'll sulk pettily until they come back.
Anyway, since I'm not very cheerful at the moment, my fandom-activities are not very cheerful either. I've read a ton of really angsty fics and, yeah, I wrote some pretty angsty fics - A-Team, sorry, I'm not in the mood for Mirror!Pinto right now. *sigh* Plus, I love angsty fics, hee. Dem boys suffer so prettily.
Or a less-sad note: the workers on the first floor are starting to annoy me. Not only do they start at 7 in the morning, no, they work until 2 or 3a.m. I guess they have a schedule to keep, but still. The whole damn house vibrates when they do their stuff and it's really noisy. I'm prepared to walk down there in my PJs if the keep me from sleep again. But I probably won't, because my bed is warm and the stairway is cold and I'd have to walk down 103 steps and back up again. So, no. Instead I'm gonna sic my roomie on them, he doesn't get home before 2 a.m. anyway and when he does, he's usually drunk. Easy to influence, especially if I bribe him with food. *rubs hands* Boy can't cook for shit, always eating microwave dinners or MREs. And btw, American army food is way better than the German stuff. There's cookies and cake and icecream, for Christ's sake. It's awesome. And my roomie doesn't like candy or chocolate - IKR?? weird, weird man - so I get the dessert stuff from his MREs, which, yeah, is totally working for me... ;P