(no subject)
Working in the educational system at the places that I've worked and with the kids that I've worked with is making me unable to ser educational as a functioning entity.
I see everything through the tinted lense of dysfunction; all the gaps and failures that have led my students to the path of exclusion.
Reading for my master's makes me sigh. "See? I'm right; research says..."
But sitting in two professional meetings AND a coaching session each week makes me angry and frustrated. The people at the top keep kids from doing what will actually help them get better. And like a dream where you're being chased but can't run, I feel like I'm in a nightmare where I speak and no sound comes out.
In turn, I lash out at my classmates for not knowing what the other side of the coin looks like. I go late to meetings. I tell everyone who will listen that I am not teaching the curriculum. When none of that is what I need to do.