Innocent, vigilant, ordinary
"Birds of a feather flock together" is generally a true statement for the majority of the world. There aren't too many people whose closest friends differ greatly from them. Sometimes our friends may have differing political or religious views but when it comes down to interests, personality types and intellect, we typically surround ourselves with people we consider to be our equals.
I LOVE my friends deeply. Every one of them, even the more casual ones. I could not imagine how boring I would be without some of these interesting, talented and caring people. I learned who the "right" me was from them. They are not without flaws but that's why we work so well together. We are the support when someone needs a helping hand.
I have let quite a few people go from my life in the last ten years. I did a massive "friends cut" when I left the ravers scene; I chose to remove the people who were not contributing to my life in a positive way and those that weren't contributing to their own, either. Again, we surround ourselves with the people that we think we deserve to be around. I became a MUCH better person after that stage of my life was over.
Today on the Black Girls Like Us blog, I read a quote that felt very relevant: " I have been thinking a lot lately about fault and responsibility. Meaning, let’s say someone hurts you. Someone that you probably should’ve exercised more discernment whether you should let them into your life or not. The consequences may be the fault of everyone involved but at the end of the day you are the one responsible for what happened. You are also responsible for what happens from here on out. You are responsible for learning the lesson, not repeating the lesson. You are also responsible for your own healing and you are responsible for letting it go and forgiving. I think a lot of us can’t let stuff go because we don’t take responsibility on ALL accounts and are too busy placing blame. If you don’t, you can wallow in guilt for a long time and be tied to some foolishness that really stopped mattering a really, really, REALLY, long time ago."
She hit the nail right on the head. Sometimes people refuse to use good judgement when they meet, befriend and/or date people. Have you ever asked yourself WHY? Maybe because it is easier to surround yourself with other low flyers than to dare yourself to fly high. Maybe it's because you don't think you CAN fly high, for one reason or another. But in the end, it's not the fault of the low flyers for keeping you down; it's your own for not leaving them behind.
I have barely crossed paths with "bad" people. It seems that the "good" people are all chain-linked together and as you branch further and further out from one good friend, you find more. The extension goes on for miles. So can it be that hard to find the uncorrupted?
I do, however, believe that even a good person can turn bad if given the reason- and the reason is that you let them. People who don't value themselves often give and give and give in attempt to make themselves think that that is their worth- to give endlessly to those that don't deserve it. Then the person that receives no longer has a reason to give. Why would they? They get without asking. Can you blame them for taking?
It pains me a little to know that there are people out there who have been hurt by people that they trusted but they never let them go. It's self sabotage of the worst kind. You let yourself truly believe that you had no control over what happens next.
It's a sad, cold, lonely world without the comfort of friends. Intentionally living within the arms of the hardened is no way to make it any better.
And even though I only see antigravity-no a couple of times a year, I forgive hm for his pussiness because he's my friend. Leo, I've seen DON more times in a year than I've seen you. DONALD. THE HERMIT. SHAME ON YOU.
I LOVE my friends deeply. Every one of them, even the more casual ones. I could not imagine how boring I would be without some of these interesting, talented and caring people. I learned who the "right" me was from them. They are not without flaws but that's why we work so well together. We are the support when someone needs a helping hand.
I have let quite a few people go from my life in the last ten years. I did a massive "friends cut" when I left the ravers scene; I chose to remove the people who were not contributing to my life in a positive way and those that weren't contributing to their own, either. Again, we surround ourselves with the people that we think we deserve to be around. I became a MUCH better person after that stage of my life was over.
Today on the Black Girls Like Us blog, I read a quote that felt very relevant: " I have been thinking a lot lately about fault and responsibility. Meaning, let’s say someone hurts you. Someone that you probably should’ve exercised more discernment whether you should let them into your life or not. The consequences may be the fault of everyone involved but at the end of the day you are the one responsible for what happened. You are also responsible for what happens from here on out. You are responsible for learning the lesson, not repeating the lesson. You are also responsible for your own healing and you are responsible for letting it go and forgiving. I think a lot of us can’t let stuff go because we don’t take responsibility on ALL accounts and are too busy placing blame. If you don’t, you can wallow in guilt for a long time and be tied to some foolishness that really stopped mattering a really, really, REALLY, long time ago."
She hit the nail right on the head. Sometimes people refuse to use good judgement when they meet, befriend and/or date people. Have you ever asked yourself WHY? Maybe because it is easier to surround yourself with other low flyers than to dare yourself to fly high. Maybe it's because you don't think you CAN fly high, for one reason or another. But in the end, it's not the fault of the low flyers for keeping you down; it's your own for not leaving them behind.
I have barely crossed paths with "bad" people. It seems that the "good" people are all chain-linked together and as you branch further and further out from one good friend, you find more. The extension goes on for miles. So can it be that hard to find the uncorrupted?
I do, however, believe that even a good person can turn bad if given the reason- and the reason is that you let them. People who don't value themselves often give and give and give in attempt to make themselves think that that is their worth- to give endlessly to those that don't deserve it. Then the person that receives no longer has a reason to give. Why would they? They get without asking. Can you blame them for taking?
It pains me a little to know that there are people out there who have been hurt by people that they trusted but they never let them go. It's self sabotage of the worst kind. You let yourself truly believe that you had no control over what happens next.
It's a sad, cold, lonely world without the comfort of friends. Intentionally living within the arms of the hardened is no way to make it any better.
And even though I only see antigravity-no a couple of times a year, I forgive hm for his pussiness because he's my friend. Leo, I've seen DON more times in a year than I've seen you. DONALD. THE HERMIT. SHAME ON YOU.