(no subject)
Day 4
Only had 10 hours of sleep today. At first I thought this was a good thing and decided to head out to some friends place. That wasn’t the best of ideas. I almost pasted out twice on the way there. While I was there we watched Tank Girl, good movie, I kept blanking out and missing whole parts. I just couldn’t concentrate and it was like I wasn’t even there. I tried to watch Austin Powers, but it just kept getting worse so I went home.
I got about 20 feet away from the apartment building when I completely forgot where I was and where I was headed too, I had no sense of direction, nothing. I started walking that I was already headed and jumped on the bus I thought was going the right way. Thankfully I was walking in the right direction and I got on the right bus. Tomorrow I am getting my cell turned back on so I can call someone if I get myself lost again. That was extremely scary. I never want to do that again. So cell phone it is.
I have one more day before I have to go back to school. I have no idea how I am going to handle school. I should have delt with this before I went to school. Hell, I should have delt with this the last time I landed myself in emerg. for this. I am so pissed at myself for not doing it then. I know it is not my fault though, not only does the disease not want me to get better, but the psychiatrist that I was seeing was an idiot, not only did he not believe me, but the pills he prescribed me only made me worse. He told me that he thought *if* there was anything wrong with me; it *might* be Bipolar Afficiate (sp) Disorder. And yet he kept me on anti-depressants which only makes the hypomania worse and in turn makes the depression worse, horrible cycle and all that.
Only had 10 hours of sleep today. At first I thought this was a good thing and decided to head out to some friends place. That wasn’t the best of ideas. I almost pasted out twice on the way there. While I was there we watched Tank Girl, good movie, I kept blanking out and missing whole parts. I just couldn’t concentrate and it was like I wasn’t even there. I tried to watch Austin Powers, but it just kept getting worse so I went home.
I got about 20 feet away from the apartment building when I completely forgot where I was and where I was headed too, I had no sense of direction, nothing. I started walking that I was already headed and jumped on the bus I thought was going the right way. Thankfully I was walking in the right direction and I got on the right bus. Tomorrow I am getting my cell turned back on so I can call someone if I get myself lost again. That was extremely scary. I never want to do that again. So cell phone it is.
I have one more day before I have to go back to school. I have no idea how I am going to handle school. I should have delt with this before I went to school. Hell, I should have delt with this the last time I landed myself in emerg. for this. I am so pissed at myself for not doing it then. I know it is not my fault though, not only does the disease not want me to get better, but the psychiatrist that I was seeing was an idiot, not only did he not believe me, but the pills he prescribed me only made me worse. He told me that he thought *if* there was anything wrong with me; it *might* be Bipolar Afficiate (sp) Disorder. And yet he kept me on anti-depressants which only makes the hypomania worse and in turn makes the depression worse, horrible cycle and all that.