[fic] of withered dreams; chapter three
Title: of withered dreams
Pairing: Mark/Jinyoung (Slight Mark/Jackson, Jaebum/Jinyoung)
Rating: R (this chapter only)
Warnings: Short mentions of bj scene, dub con(?)
Synopsis: When Jinyoung is dead drunk one night, Mark takes it in his kind character to lug the 'stranger' home. For lonely nights and nostalgic mornings, this is a story of forgotten childhoods, surreal neverlands, white lies, black truths and of withered dreams.
A/N: Beta-ed by the ever so wonderful neutralsmile (start writing again omgyouuuuaskdjsd)
//03//
The next time he sees Jackson, the other is pulling him into the pouring rain-grip on his wrist too tight, the gaze in his eyes too burdensome. “Let go,” Jinyoung says, gently rubbing his wrist when the other releases his grip.
“You’re welcome.” Jackson says, reminding the other that there was a need for a thank you. But there’s no response from Jinyoung, who only turns around to re-enter the restaurant. Jackson’s pulling him again and Jinyoung’s sure that the red mark around his wrist will darken into a mauve bruise. He tries to shake off the other’s grip and fails, falling into the other’s hold.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Jackson grits through his teeth.
“Doing my job.” He replies, all too nonchalantly.
“Your job is to let old men grope all over you?” Jackson says, tone too menacing as something in his heart falls with a thud, shattered memories flashing through his mind.
Jinyoung responds with a; “It doesn’t have anything to do with you,” and Jackson can’t help but notice how there’s pain in the other’s eyes. Jinyoung’s calling help whilst drowning, voice unheard, sound waves dissipating in water. He doesn’t mean what he says, doesn’t want what he allows to happen. Jackson knows.
So he punches him, hard. Jinyoung falls back on hard asphalt, rain falling into his eyes, nose, mouth, heart. “Where the fuck is your pride?! Life isn’t some fucking primetime idol drama where all you run into are dead ends!” Jackson’s voice is resonating through his brain, and Jinyoung knows-knows that life has so many roads and so little dead ends. But there are so many cliffs and broken bridges. He doesn’t need pride, doesn’t need morals, doesn’t need dreams. All Jinyoung wants is a home where he doesn’t have to worry about rental deadlines. A table where there’s always food on the table and not shelves and shelves of instant noodles. He isn’t sure whether the skies are crying, whether Jackson is crying, or whether he is crying.
Contract still unsigned and quota still unmet, Jinyoung crawls his way back into the restaurant muttering apologies and pleas. He feels a rough hand run through his wet hair and for the first time, he doesn’t pull away. He’s in the bathroom stall moments later, choking himself to tears as he suppresses the urge to vomit. The man’s hands grab onto his hair, holding Jinyoung’s head firm as he thrusts his member into the young man’s mouth. It hits the back of his throat too many times (he can’t breathe) and when the older man finally pulls out, he’s still gasping for air.
It doesn’t come.
He’s breathing in poison.
He’s tired, too tired to think, too tired to move. The old man was long gone now and Jinyoung lets himself fall onto the floor, pulling out his phone and tapping familiar digits. Jaebum comes in no time, face flushed and out of breath. Jackson’s behind him, eyes too dark-too cold. He feels himself being pulled up, it’s the smell of Jaebum’s cologne, and a damp towel falls onto his face. Warm water washing away putrid stains, touches gentle and cautious. He buries himself into Jaebum’s chest and lets him carry him outside. It’s still raining, cold droplets descending from the heavens. Jackson drives them home, thoughts overwhelming him as the window wipers moved from side to side. He catches Jaebum in the rear mirror, hugging onto the younger boy who looked soullessly out the window. There’s nothing but black outside, not a single star in the night sky. There’s nothing but black inside, kohl orbs reflecting noir souls. Pitter patter goes the rain droplets on the glass window. Pitter patter goes Jaebum’s heart.
Jinyoung drowns himself in the shower, it’s raining inside now, while Jackson sits in the living room. Jaebum’s ear perk up at mutters of, “I told him not to” and “Why did it turn out to this.” He hands him a coffee and settles down next to him; “I’m Im Jaebum.”
“Jackson.” He replies, voice hoarse and cracking.
“Jinyoung’s..” Jaebum begins, “..kind of broken.”
“...”
“He’s been through a lot, and still isn’t in the best state. So I hope-”
It gets Jackson angry, “So he’s broken and you let him go around breaking himself?”, because everyone’s broken on the inside. But that doesn’t mean anything.
“No.” Jaebum refutes, “Jinyoung doesn’t do anything like he did tonight-never did, never thought he would.”
“So.” Jackson really doesn’t get what point the other was trying to establish.
Jaebum takes an inhale before talking again, eyes colder than ever; “I meant that whatever you said to him shouldn’t have been said.” He continued, “Not everyone is tough enough to take reality, Jinyoung’s already struggling. Don’t push him over the cliff he’s trying to climb up.”
Jaebum doesn’t understand and Jaebum doesn’t expect him to-doesn’t want him too. It’s okay because he understands Jinyoung, and there’s really no need for anyone else to intrude upon the world they’ve created. It’s selfish and his heart’s rotten, but he wants to keep Jinyoung to himself. Broken or not.
Jackson doesn’t realize until Mark tells him, brows furrowing when he relays his memories. He’s never been one for keeping secrets and neither has Mark been one to gossip. The creases between the elder’s eyes deepen and Jackson’s heart drops. Everyone’s a bit broken on the inside and Jackson isn’t sure if Jaebum is patching Jinyoung up or breaking him into pieces.
Mark decides, it’s a bit of both.
A/N: Well, I'm really not sure about this chapter. Super self-conscious about it even, since I wasn't that satisfied with how it turned out and how it deviated with what I had in mind. :/ But I hope it's adequate.