Almost time... 6 days!!!!
6 days until our 6 months!
Soo just something that I've been thinking about today and really I know most of my entrys are either family, Mike or school related but, Mike was super awesome lastnight and this morning so I must document it because I have a thing with going back and reading these entries. So this is more for myself than anyone. But you can read too! :P
About Xzibit Kanye:
After an amazing day at the Detroit Thanksgiving Day Parade with Lynsey and Tenielle all to see Mike as a "Who" from "Whoville" I drove 2 hours to Lexington, and back! Lets just say my arms hurt veddy bad! Anyway, I have been thinking that Xzibit Kanye (my fish that I love like a cat or dog) was going to die because he wasn't swimming a lot and wasn't eating. Not only that, when I went up to his tank and yelled "XZIBIT WAKE UP!!!" he wasn't getting up to see me anymore. Now see, this was my first bit of family I had away from home. He was my "replacement" for Sasha being gone from Nikki. I talked to this fish everynight and I would watch him till I fell asleep. I even cried to him and told him all my stories and everything. He was like my own little best friend that was always aaalways there! He drove home with me from the dorms when I moved home for the Christmas break. He drove back when I came to the house and he drove back again when I left the house, then back again to the apartment. He was amazing! I'd talk to him the whole way and I'd drive really careful and slow, I didn't even listen to music because I didn't want it to stress him out with the vibrations in his water. He was the best fish in the world.
Soooo I come home and of course like I'd been thinking about all day, Xzibit was dead. He was at the bottom and I thought maybe he was sleeping but his gills weren't moving and I moved the tank around and called his name a few times but he didn't move. Aaaand I cried! :( So I called Mike and told him trying not to cry too much. I called originally to tell him that I was working the later shift today and if he wanted to spend the night it would be nice. So as I'm crying he's like well don't worry because I'll give you a hug in a minute. I didn't really understand because I thought he was at home. He was already driving and almost to my house when we were talking! So he came and I cried more and then went to bed. We woke up and I asked Mike to get Xzibit out of the tank and put him in the potty. So he did and I wanted to say the "Our Father" but I couldn't do it because I was already crying and just seeing him in the toilet was already really upsetting and I knew if I tried to talk and say the prayer it would just be horrible. The best part of everything besides Mike already being on his way regardless if I had to open the bank or close it, he said the Our Father for me. I've been thinking about this all day and I'm realizing that you know when someone loves you when you are pretty much devastated, they come through for you and help you along. I don't think people stop to think about that. I'm still in awe and it's only been 6 months...
I think I need to share a secret. Have you ever felt guilty for loving someone? Not just loving them, but because you love them soooo much that you would do anything in the whole entire world just to make sure they were happy. I've come to see that I've put Mike to be as important as myself. I've never done that before and the only thing I could see as being fit to describe it was not the word but the definition of the word.
Nirvana:
1: any place of complete bliss and delight and peace
2: a state of perfection
To love someone so much that when it gets so deep down that you really don't know what you are feeling anymore, but that it's simply amazing. I've never felt anything like this in my life. A state of subliminal nirvana.
You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light, to my soul.
You are my purpose, you're everything.
Xzibit Kanye- I'll love you forever and ever. You have been the first fish I can honestly say that I've cried over for more than 5 minutes. It's been 2 days and counting. I feel like I've lost a best friend, no- I have lost a best friend.
Soo just something that I've been thinking about today and really I know most of my entrys are either family, Mike or school related but, Mike was super awesome lastnight and this morning so I must document it because I have a thing with going back and reading these entries. So this is more for myself than anyone. But you can read too! :P
About Xzibit Kanye:
After an amazing day at the Detroit Thanksgiving Day Parade with Lynsey and Tenielle all to see Mike as a "Who" from "Whoville" I drove 2 hours to Lexington, and back! Lets just say my arms hurt veddy bad! Anyway, I have been thinking that Xzibit Kanye (my fish that I love like a cat or dog) was going to die because he wasn't swimming a lot and wasn't eating. Not only that, when I went up to his tank and yelled "XZIBIT WAKE UP!!!" he wasn't getting up to see me anymore. Now see, this was my first bit of family I had away from home. He was my "replacement" for Sasha being gone from Nikki. I talked to this fish everynight and I would watch him till I fell asleep. I even cried to him and told him all my stories and everything. He was like my own little best friend that was always aaalways there! He drove home with me from the dorms when I moved home for the Christmas break. He drove back when I came to the house and he drove back again when I left the house, then back again to the apartment. He was amazing! I'd talk to him the whole way and I'd drive really careful and slow, I didn't even listen to music because I didn't want it to stress him out with the vibrations in his water. He was the best fish in the world.
Soooo I come home and of course like I'd been thinking about all day, Xzibit was dead. He was at the bottom and I thought maybe he was sleeping but his gills weren't moving and I moved the tank around and called his name a few times but he didn't move. Aaaand I cried! :( So I called Mike and told him trying not to cry too much. I called originally to tell him that I was working the later shift today and if he wanted to spend the night it would be nice. So as I'm crying he's like well don't worry because I'll give you a hug in a minute. I didn't really understand because I thought he was at home. He was already driving and almost to my house when we were talking! So he came and I cried more and then went to bed. We woke up and I asked Mike to get Xzibit out of the tank and put him in the potty. So he did and I wanted to say the "Our Father" but I couldn't do it because I was already crying and just seeing him in the toilet was already really upsetting and I knew if I tried to talk and say the prayer it would just be horrible. The best part of everything besides Mike already being on his way regardless if I had to open the bank or close it, he said the Our Father for me. I've been thinking about this all day and I'm realizing that you know when someone loves you when you are pretty much devastated, they come through for you and help you along. I don't think people stop to think about that. I'm still in awe and it's only been 6 months...
I think I need to share a secret. Have you ever felt guilty for loving someone? Not just loving them, but because you love them soooo much that you would do anything in the whole entire world just to make sure they were happy. I've come to see that I've put Mike to be as important as myself. I've never done that before and the only thing I could see as being fit to describe it was not the word but the definition of the word.
Nirvana:
1: any place of complete bliss and delight and peace
2: a state of perfection
To love someone so much that when it gets so deep down that you really don't know what you are feeling anymore, but that it's simply amazing. I've never felt anything like this in my life. A state of subliminal nirvana.
You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light, to my soul.
You are my purpose, you're everything.
Xzibit Kanye- I'll love you forever and ever. You have been the first fish I can honestly say that I've cried over for more than 5 minutes. It's been 2 days and counting. I feel like I've lost a best friend, no- I have lost a best friend.