VMARS FIC: "Adrenaline" (Kendall POV, Kendall/Logan, some L/V)
Will probably be x-posted.
TITLE: Adrenaline
SERIES: Veronica Mars
AUTHOR: amelia_kay
CHARACTER(s): Kendall POV, Kendall/Logan, some L/V
SUMMARY: Kendall has perfectly good reasons for everything she does.
SPOILERS: through 2x01
FEEDBACK: Please do, all kinds of feedback very much appreciated!
***
"Dude, why is your stepmom such a bitch?"
Kendall had never gotten stage fright. Not at her first dance recital when she was seven, not the eighth grade talent show, not when she was performing in front of thousands as a Laker Girl, not when she was walking down the aisle with one of the richest men she'd ever met. Not once.
The way she figured, stage fright was for people who allowed for the possibility that they might screw something up. And that just wasn't part of her gameplan. She always knew exactly what she was gonna do, and if it made her kinda phony, well, it also made her win.
*
I'm not running an orphanage here.
When she told people about growing up in Las Vegas, she always made sure to exaggerate just how poor she'd really been. A lucky break had rescued her from misery, welfare, and Walmart. Verrrrry romantic.
Also, big fat lie. Woops.
Hey, look, things hadn't exactly been Easy Street back home. Mom probably drank too much for everybody's own good; older brother hung around the wrong sorts of boys whose eyes eventually wandered to her (not that she minded that part, really), Dad probably could've used a lifetime supply of Xanax and some long term job counseling or reiki treatments or something.
But she'd had dance lessons. For years and years. Did the people of Neptune really think those got paid for by Goodwill or something?
God, people were sooooo stupid.
*
Get up and get it yourself.
The year she took off for Hollywood, destined for stardom or bankruptcy or porn or whatever, her brother spent an entire summer with his head under the hood of some sports car that was older than both of them put together. She didn't like suddenly having to divide his and all his friends' attention with a car, but she could live with it if she got to drive it a few times when it was done.
That summer she acquired a taste for convertibles.
Her brother conceded from the passenger seat once that she was the only one in the family that was gonna make something of herself, and it was like something out of some shitty TV movie, it was so goddamned touching, and she almost vomited, right there, but instead she smiled and promised him that she'd write a lot and send for him as soon as she could. She hadn't meant it, but it had made him smile and look something like hopeful, and that was kinda nice.
Honestly? She couldn't wait to get the hell out of there. Hopefully going as fast as possible... and with the top down.
*
There's an Ick Factor.
About three weeks into her fabulous new L.A. life, Kendall decided drugs were for total morons, because she sure as hell was never gonna be seen snorting anything off a public bathroom counter with her makeup looking like shit and then staggering off to hook up with some D-list loser.
She saw so many of her fellow Laker Girls cave for that, and always she thought, oh yeah, that's the life, you stupid bitches.
*
Unless I'm wearing a Naughty Schoolgirl uniform, and then it's very hot.
The first time she stepped out onto the court, for real this time, and her gaze swept over a seemingly endless ocean of people in the stands, she suddenly felt lighter than she'd ever felt in her life. The music had started, and maybe it sounded spectacularly stupid if you tried to explain it out loud, but when she moved then, she was weightless. She didn't have to remind herself to smile because she couldn't stop smiling.
And when the beat stopped and the crowds exploded into whoops and whistles and applause, Kendall knew it was for her. All for her.
*
"One of the players' wives had her fired."
It was only when Kendall was just settling in to believing her life was charmed, totally charmed, that things always went to shit.
Every time she thought about that dumpy bitter hausfrau scheming to get her fired and then having the gall to succeed, her cheeks felt like they were on fire. Ridiculous. So she hadn't "liked the look" of Kendall. She just knew this was bitter UGLY SAGGY BITCHASS hausfrau-speak for "I think that whore screwed my husband."
So, okay, maybe it was true. The point was, she was a damn good Laker Girl, maybe one of the best ones out there. So having her fired over some fling was really unfuckingprofessional and no, she was never ever gonna stop fuming, and, like, Kendall had never been in a fistfight in her life, but that bitch really should hope she never ran into her in a dark alleyway or she was gonna end up with a Manolo heel in her goddamned eye.
She then made a mental note to think of ways to make the story sound more tragic when she told it. Of course, in her version, she was always pristinely innocent. She would never, she'd say, wide eyed and lip qivering on cue. It's just that women get so jealous, and that wasn't her fault.
Yeah, guys always fell for that kinda thing.
*
Y'know, you're my first younger guy.
The first time she'd met Aaron Echolls, she'd thought he was a total schmuck. Okay, first of all? She really had no time for a guy that was more impressed with himself than he was with her. Being in his house had been like being eye-assaulted. She couldn't look anywhere that didn't have his mug plastered all over it. Jeez, this guy was possibly even more vain than she was.
She'd heard he had hellion kids (which she never saw, thank God) and that he was recently widowed (so fucking tragic, no, really), and like, blah, blah, blah, drama, drama, drama. Whatever! So, yeah, obviously this one was temporary. Obviously.
The important thing was: it was at one of his spring dinner parties (quiet, tasteful, because of the dead wife and all that) that Kendall had first seen Richard "Big Dick" Casablancas. She'd made Aaron introduce them, but not before reminding Aaron that discretion was oh, so very important in their arrangement, and waiting for understanding to flash in his eyes. He was cool because he understood her need for discretion. It wouldn't do for anyone to find out that he'd started banging her the week after his poor presumed-dead ball and chain's funeral, for example. People would think they were completely tacky.
Anyway, Dick had a nice smile and couldn't keep his eyes off her all night, which she always appreciated, and you know what? His conversational skills weren't that bad either. And he made jokes for her, just for her, and by the time the party was over, Kendall was determined to find out if "Big Dick" was just a name for show or what.
Three weeks later, they got married (in her home town, even, so her mother could come - like, how sweet, right?) and even though she suspected nobody believed her, it had totally not been her idea.
*
Hello, children. Does anybody want a Rice Krispie treat?
Four months into her new and fabulous marriage, Kendall realized that if only she could divide every day between sex and shopping, she'd never get bored. Unfortunately she never got her way in things like this, so she did get bored. And bored.
And so. Very. Goddamned. Bored.
She hated Dick's kids, of course, and that was okay because she was pretty sure they'd hate her right back sooner rather than later. Whatever. She didn't care as long as they stayed out of her hair, which they did for the most part, and thank God Dick never, ever suggested anything resembling "family time" or something equally annoying.
After she got married and had no choice but to relocate to this town, she didn't make a whole lot of friends. She had zero patience for the Botoxed shrews that were married to all of Dick's friends. They all hated her anyway (because she was hotter than they were, because they paid plastic surgeons to give them bodies that looked like hers, let's get real) and she just... She hadn't signed up for living the same thing day in and day out, okay? Like that Groundhog Day movie, but with no end credits in sight.
Oh, and somewhere along the way, Aaron Echolls got shipped off to maximum security for having killed some teenaged whore because he'd gone totally psycho on her. Jesus Christ.
And see, that, right there, is why Kendall always trusted her instincts.
*
You have to stop reminding me you're still in high school.
She didn't really remember when she'd first noticed Logan Echolls was even alive. Oh, sure, she'd seen him checking her out when he thought he was being subtle, but please, what 17 year old boy was ever subtle? Anyway, that was totally old hat; sure, he was a good looking kid and all, but all her pantywaste stepkids' little chums stared at her, because, you know, they had eyes.
Unfortunately, as the summer wore on, Logan was over all the goddamned time. The one time she'd mentioned it to DickSenior (she totally refused to call him that other name these days, because, come on) he'd whined about hardship and compassion and on and on and on. Jesus. She'd smiled and patted his face and called him "soooo sweet" and had thought to herself, "sucker." She'd seen hardship too, and she didn't become anybody's charity case. Bad things happened to a lot of people. That was life; you got over it. And yes, that was the full extent of Kendall Casablancas' repository of parental advice. You betcha.
So, she didn't remember when she first noticed that Logan Echolls was pretty much the only other person in the entire universe - or at least it seemed that way - that was passing the time with no real end in sight, just like she was. Like, in limbo. Like one day was just as good as the next, only, every day you just kind of hated everything a little tiny bit more, when, it bore repeating: this was not how she'd envisioned spending the rest of her whole entire life.
Then she realized that made him the first semi-interesting person she'd met in months, and she thought, Okay, so he wins a cookie.
He started hanging around the house like he lived there in late August, being a little Schlepprock underfoot all the time. It didn't escape her notice that he was now missing a certain mousy little blonde appendage. Aww. Young heartbreak.
God.
Anyway, one day too many she walked in on him rummaging through the fridge and she snapped. "Hey, are you homeless or something? I mean, no offense, but don't you have a house of your own?"
He threw her a quick glance and went back to rummaging, but not before drawling, "But the view is so much nicer here, Mrs. Casablancas."
And that's exactly when Kendall thought... Huh. Yeah. Maybe he's good for something after all.
***
A/N: Thanks to dreago for her thoughtful feedback on this, and to edie22 for the beta and read through. And especially for the encouragement; I tried something new for this one, so thoughts on the story would be very much appreciated.
TITLE: Adrenaline
SERIES: Veronica Mars
AUTHOR: amelia_kay
CHARACTER(s): Kendall POV, Kendall/Logan, some L/V
SUMMARY: Kendall has perfectly good reasons for everything she does.
SPOILERS: through 2x01
FEEDBACK: Please do, all kinds of feedback very much appreciated!
***
"Dude, why is your stepmom such a bitch?"
Kendall had never gotten stage fright. Not at her first dance recital when she was seven, not the eighth grade talent show, not when she was performing in front of thousands as a Laker Girl, not when she was walking down the aisle with one of the richest men she'd ever met. Not once.
The way she figured, stage fright was for people who allowed for the possibility that they might screw something up. And that just wasn't part of her gameplan. She always knew exactly what she was gonna do, and if it made her kinda phony, well, it also made her win.
*
I'm not running an orphanage here.
When she told people about growing up in Las Vegas, she always made sure to exaggerate just how poor she'd really been. A lucky break had rescued her from misery, welfare, and Walmart. Verrrrry romantic.
Also, big fat lie. Woops.
Hey, look, things hadn't exactly been Easy Street back home. Mom probably drank too much for everybody's own good; older brother hung around the wrong sorts of boys whose eyes eventually wandered to her (not that she minded that part, really), Dad probably could've used a lifetime supply of Xanax and some long term job counseling or reiki treatments or something.
But she'd had dance lessons. For years and years. Did the people of Neptune really think those got paid for by Goodwill or something?
God, people were sooooo stupid.
*
Get up and get it yourself.
The year she took off for Hollywood, destined for stardom or bankruptcy or porn or whatever, her brother spent an entire summer with his head under the hood of some sports car that was older than both of them put together. She didn't like suddenly having to divide his and all his friends' attention with a car, but she could live with it if she got to drive it a few times when it was done.
That summer she acquired a taste for convertibles.
Her brother conceded from the passenger seat once that she was the only one in the family that was gonna make something of herself, and it was like something out of some shitty TV movie, it was so goddamned touching, and she almost vomited, right there, but instead she smiled and promised him that she'd write a lot and send for him as soon as she could. She hadn't meant it, but it had made him smile and look something like hopeful, and that was kinda nice.
Honestly? She couldn't wait to get the hell out of there. Hopefully going as fast as possible... and with the top down.
*
There's an Ick Factor.
About three weeks into her fabulous new L.A. life, Kendall decided drugs were for total morons, because she sure as hell was never gonna be seen snorting anything off a public bathroom counter with her makeup looking like shit and then staggering off to hook up with some D-list loser.
She saw so many of her fellow Laker Girls cave for that, and always she thought, oh yeah, that's the life, you stupid bitches.
*
Unless I'm wearing a Naughty Schoolgirl uniform, and then it's very hot.
The first time she stepped out onto the court, for real this time, and her gaze swept over a seemingly endless ocean of people in the stands, she suddenly felt lighter than she'd ever felt in her life. The music had started, and maybe it sounded spectacularly stupid if you tried to explain it out loud, but when she moved then, she was weightless. She didn't have to remind herself to smile because she couldn't stop smiling.
And when the beat stopped and the crowds exploded into whoops and whistles and applause, Kendall knew it was for her. All for her.
*
"One of the players' wives had her fired."
It was only when Kendall was just settling in to believing her life was charmed, totally charmed, that things always went to shit.
Every time she thought about that dumpy bitter hausfrau scheming to get her fired and then having the gall to succeed, her cheeks felt like they were on fire. Ridiculous. So she hadn't "liked the look" of Kendall. She just knew this was bitter UGLY SAGGY BITCHASS hausfrau-speak for "I think that whore screwed my husband."
So, okay, maybe it was true. The point was, she was a damn good Laker Girl, maybe one of the best ones out there. So having her fired over some fling was really unfuckingprofessional and no, she was never ever gonna stop fuming, and, like, Kendall had never been in a fistfight in her life, but that bitch really should hope she never ran into her in a dark alleyway or she was gonna end up with a Manolo heel in her goddamned eye.
She then made a mental note to think of ways to make the story sound more tragic when she told it. Of course, in her version, she was always pristinely innocent. She would never, she'd say, wide eyed and lip qivering on cue. It's just that women get so jealous, and that wasn't her fault.
Yeah, guys always fell for that kinda thing.
*
Y'know, you're my first younger guy.
The first time she'd met Aaron Echolls, she'd thought he was a total schmuck. Okay, first of all? She really had no time for a guy that was more impressed with himself than he was with her. Being in his house had been like being eye-assaulted. She couldn't look anywhere that didn't have his mug plastered all over it. Jeez, this guy was possibly even more vain than she was.
She'd heard he had hellion kids (which she never saw, thank God) and that he was recently widowed (so fucking tragic, no, really), and like, blah, blah, blah, drama, drama, drama. Whatever! So, yeah, obviously this one was temporary. Obviously.
The important thing was: it was at one of his spring dinner parties (quiet, tasteful, because of the dead wife and all that) that Kendall had first seen Richard "Big Dick" Casablancas. She'd made Aaron introduce them, but not before reminding Aaron that discretion was oh, so very important in their arrangement, and waiting for understanding to flash in his eyes. He was cool because he understood her need for discretion. It wouldn't do for anyone to find out that he'd started banging her the week after his poor presumed-dead ball and chain's funeral, for example. People would think they were completely tacky.
Anyway, Dick had a nice smile and couldn't keep his eyes off her all night, which she always appreciated, and you know what? His conversational skills weren't that bad either. And he made jokes for her, just for her, and by the time the party was over, Kendall was determined to find out if "Big Dick" was just a name for show or what.
Three weeks later, they got married (in her home town, even, so her mother could come - like, how sweet, right?) and even though she suspected nobody believed her, it had totally not been her idea.
*
Hello, children. Does anybody want a Rice Krispie treat?
Four months into her new and fabulous marriage, Kendall realized that if only she could divide every day between sex and shopping, she'd never get bored. Unfortunately she never got her way in things like this, so she did get bored. And bored.
And so. Very. Goddamned. Bored.
She hated Dick's kids, of course, and that was okay because she was pretty sure they'd hate her right back sooner rather than later. Whatever. She didn't care as long as they stayed out of her hair, which they did for the most part, and thank God Dick never, ever suggested anything resembling "family time" or something equally annoying.
After she got married and had no choice but to relocate to this town, she didn't make a whole lot of friends. She had zero patience for the Botoxed shrews that were married to all of Dick's friends. They all hated her anyway (because she was hotter than they were, because they paid plastic surgeons to give them bodies that looked like hers, let's get real) and she just... She hadn't signed up for living the same thing day in and day out, okay? Like that Groundhog Day movie, but with no end credits in sight.
Oh, and somewhere along the way, Aaron Echolls got shipped off to maximum security for having killed some teenaged whore because he'd gone totally psycho on her. Jesus Christ.
And see, that, right there, is why Kendall always trusted her instincts.
*
You have to stop reminding me you're still in high school.
She didn't really remember when she'd first noticed Logan Echolls was even alive. Oh, sure, she'd seen him checking her out when he thought he was being subtle, but please, what 17 year old boy was ever subtle? Anyway, that was totally old hat; sure, he was a good looking kid and all, but all her pantywaste stepkids' little chums stared at her, because, you know, they had eyes.
Unfortunately, as the summer wore on, Logan was over all the goddamned time. The one time she'd mentioned it to DickSenior (she totally refused to call him that other name these days, because, come on) he'd whined about hardship and compassion and on and on and on. Jesus. She'd smiled and patted his face and called him "soooo sweet" and had thought to herself, "sucker." She'd seen hardship too, and she didn't become anybody's charity case. Bad things happened to a lot of people. That was life; you got over it. And yes, that was the full extent of Kendall Casablancas' repository of parental advice. You betcha.
So, she didn't remember when she first noticed that Logan Echolls was pretty much the only other person in the entire universe - or at least it seemed that way - that was passing the time with no real end in sight, just like she was. Like, in limbo. Like one day was just as good as the next, only, every day you just kind of hated everything a little tiny bit more, when, it bore repeating: this was not how she'd envisioned spending the rest of her whole entire life.
Then she realized that made him the first semi-interesting person she'd met in months, and she thought, Okay, so he wins a cookie.
He started hanging around the house like he lived there in late August, being a little Schlepprock underfoot all the time. It didn't escape her notice that he was now missing a certain mousy little blonde appendage. Aww. Young heartbreak.
God.
Anyway, one day too many she walked in on him rummaging through the fridge and she snapped. "Hey, are you homeless or something? I mean, no offense, but don't you have a house of your own?"
He threw her a quick glance and went back to rummaging, but not before drawling, "But the view is so much nicer here, Mrs. Casablancas."
And that's exactly when Kendall thought... Huh. Yeah. Maybe he's good for something after all.
***
A/N: Thanks to dreago for her thoughtful feedback on this, and to edie22 for the beta and read through. And especially for the encouragement; I tried something new for this one, so thoughts on the story would be very much appreciated.