She wants to go to the Seaside
Change of scenery brought with it this sort of out of body experience where I kept realizing that it was all so beautiful and holy that it was hard to stay present and process it. Incredibly similar to taking walks these days and feeling the sad beauty of this world so intensely. But too, in this my most revered place of worship, a long held dream unfolding step by step, just barely within reach maybe at least for the moment. An awareness of reminding myself to stay present feeling like trying to reel in a kite in a strong breeze, other times just letting the wind take me.
Grateful to whatever mindful neuro-pathways allowed me to take in small details. Wild strawberry white star and purple sweet pea blossoms that grow tangled in with buttercups and daisies on the beach access path. The blistered turquoise bench on the embankment vista, before a stone and concrete stairwell cobbled together with a few grecian molding tiles descends to the sand. Low tide at dusk when the water, warmed by a hot day, feels like a bath with tiny creatures swimming and digging in the puddles. Ruby tearing around off leash with the widest goofiest smile on her face, following the smallest tadpole sized fishes with her sharp eyes. Trading in a sunset on a cloudy night for whale spouts that we watched cross the horizon and then escorted us back to the access staircase as they cut in front of shrimping boats. Two glorious unmistakable Gods of the deep. A homemade baked box cake that had slightly too much almond extract and ended up tasting a bit like Tiramisu. The sounds of all the birds from the thick surrounding woods and the crackle of the fire into nightfall. Heavy eye lids mesmerized by something other than a screen. Breathing slower. Remembering how to.