Excercise in Character and Audience

[amelancholykiss]

Broken Thoughts

You’ve made me tired of my life,
Tearing my principles down to nothing-
Pretending at perfection yourself
(Can you be perfect with all those drugs?).

My life lay exposed as you ripped me apart
Left me crying in the night-
Your opinion always mattered
And probably always will.

These flowers under snow
Are lost inside my random thoughts
As I sit smiling quietly,
Beaten and abraised.
I can’t stop remembering your easy laughter.

My life is organized and pre-ordained
Yet I’m afraid to face tomorrow,
Knowing what you think of me,
And how I’ve lived my life-
Knowing I did right in keeping Her.

I find my freedom behind golden bars
Devoid of promise,
Hidden behind illusion of uncaring.
Can’t let you know how I hurt, even now.

My questions are left unspoken
I keep them locked inside my head-
Keeping company with the Beatles
And the hours of video games you’d play.

I'm so lonely without my best friend
But it’s okay;
Like water in that ratty tin cup
It's only make believe.

Our dreams are rainbows out of leaves
Existing only to hope
But blurred by all my tears-
The plans we made left on the side of this road.

Surrounded by solid and unyielding truths
Filling these Canyons of Pain;
Is anything worth losing your best friend?

And the furniture of our souls
(Mine this normal sort of cream,
Your’s this strange myriad of colours,
They clash but are just so you
I can’t stop looking, and remembering.)
Lay on the shore of a dark lake.

All together, all alone,
Not saving time for me-
You’re in love, and I’m happy for you.

I won't modify my life
On pain of broken bonds
Almost, not quite, pure.

My hands tremble wrenchingly
As I write this poem to you.

I miss you.