Oh how the tears stream down

[amek904]

So today was an awsome day till i got home. I went to work and then met up wit the rents for lunch. Called gary and made my day even better. I thought it would be better since i might be moving down near him. Until i got home. I decided to see if gary cared and thought he would cheat on me (stupid i know) so i asked Holly to im him and talk to him like she was interested. I got caught in a lie. Dam my life is alwayz being fucked up. I fuck up everything. Gary and i got into a huge fight and now it might be over between us. I dont think i can handle losing him. I mean yea i know we just started goin out but i feel like i've known him my whole life. I know that i have serious issues and problems that interfer wit everything i do. I love and cherish every moment that i talk and see him. I want us to be ok and i want to move down there to be with him. I had so much work to do tonite and all i could think about was losing him. I need to tell him that. I want to be in his arms and i cant hold back my tears anymore. I know that i fucked up alot of trust issues that he's goin to have with me. But it was my stupidity and i want everything to work out between us. I love him with all of my heart and i dont know what im goin to do if i lose him. I want to prove to him that no matter what happens were goin to be fine. I want to build up that trust issue and i want us to just be happy and fall asleep in each others arms and be together forever. I know this is soo corny but i've never felt this way about anyone before. When i was with Yorina i was like ya i love him and he loves me but this feels so totally differnt. Yorina was based on so many differnt things. I'm with gary out of straight love and everything that comes with it. So i'm goin to go to sleep and hopefully tomarrow we will work out all of our problems and next weekend when i go down and see him i can start to look for an apartment. (Hopefully) Well i keep on rambling and i need to get some sleep and tissues. I talked to my mom and she just told me to have faith. God i hope she's right. Well i'm heading out.. Good nite and leave me some hopefullness for tomarrow. I love you gary you know i do and alwayz will..

Peace
Andrea