SOMETIMES the truth HURTS but it ONLY helps you be STRONGER
HOW DO I EXPRESS HOW GOOD IT FEELS...
okai i have to admit i was so fuckin' scared for today...cuz i felt as if it was going to be a bash on amy conversation...although i have to admit it hurt alot at first because it was like seeing all my mistakes laid out in front of me...but HONESTLY through the shit i'm going through right now...it only HELPED me realize HOW FUCKED UP MY LIFE IS and HOW I NEED TO PICK UP AFTER MY SHIT!!!
like seriously...i was soo fuckin' clueless as to how i was acting...i knew i was messed up...changed and shit like that...but i guess the only way for me to truly accept it and realize it all i had to be straight out told...i cried just like i predicted but you know lately i've been so daym emotional it wasn't anything new haha...
first and for most i wanna to thank jamie joyce john kristen rachel for talking to me and even through all the shit i gave and put up you still tried to be my friend...and thanks for not dropping me cuz i don't know what i would have done if that happened...like straight out the truth...
also thanks to SCOTT ERIC and MATTHEW for waiting for me...i seriously appreciated that...shows how much you guys care too *tear* haha lol...thanks i love you guys like NO DOUBT...
actually i LOVE ALL MY CHURCH FRIENDS...and i thank GOD for giving me FORGIVING and UNDERSTANDING friends like them...
btw i said that i only used the boys to hang out with...but that was a mistake on my behalf...i love them too i don't just use them like that...but you know what i mean...
to the TWINS i'm sorry that i always thought you hated me...i just didn't want to be on you bad side...and i guess i never looked at as the way you put it...like how i don't have to try cuz you already were my friends...
its funny how when i said "you know i have a problem cuz i always worry about what people say..." and everyone...lol EVERYONE was like "WE KNOW!!" haha i was like .... ooh shit its that noticable?!?! haha i guess thats something i have to change...
GOD THANK YOU...doode do you know how good it felt to be with my FAMILY again...shit i'm so crying right now...daym...so fuckin' emotional...DAYM EMO-NESS haha lol...
baskin robbin's, honking at jamie's slow ass (haha), eating a pastrami sandwhich in front of erics face after i told him i didn't want to get one with him (hahah LOL), dancing at derek's house, eric trying to teach me to salsa, freak dancing kristen LOL, being with the ONES I FUCKIN' love...
GOSH how i've missed it...wow THANK YOU GUYS for not dropping me...i was such a stupid bitch haha...
to JOYCE...i know i've changed so much and just the way you straight out told me...man that hit me like nothing...but seriously that so fuckin' helped so much...cuz it made me realize how i need to pick up after my life...i want to be STRONG AGAIN...i want your respect back...and i hope i can do that...and i hope you'll be there to help me when i need it...seriously straight out...thanks for being straight with me...
so much has been lifted off my shoulders...man its like wow...
off the subject...i accidentally got really really buzzed last night with my parents...haha i was soo hyper...singing at the table and i was soo jittery haha daym that was funny...haha LOL my moms like "amy are you drunk?" hahahahah LOL LOL BEST FAMILY TIME EVER!!! haha...
well i gotta clean up cuz people might come over tonight...we'll see...
"how can i show you how much i wanna be with you...?"
AmEe NiCoLe
p.s. i was talking to eric about how i want to get married at 25 basically being engaged at 24...and he said "amy you need to start looking now..." and i thought to myself...OOH SHIT yah huh? haha...i'll give myself one year... :)