FDSAFDSAFDSA.
i must have cried in my sleep last night even though i don't remember doing it because i woke up with my eyes all puffy and bloodshot and a tear soaked pillow. i swear my soul hurts. and i physically hurt. it feels like somebody got inside me and scooped out a bunch of stuff and then is squeezing my lungs. or something near my lungs. its the feeling of sadness. i hate it. i know i'll feel better some day but i can't stand waiting. the upside is i finally don't feel like i can eat so i guess i'll get skinny. (that will probably only last til lunch time as i sure do love food). the thought of dating is so hideous to me. just imagining the unfamiliar smells of new boys alone makes me want to puke. that's weird. but it's true. smell is my superhuman strength for some reason and i totally judge people based on it. and not what they cover it up with either. actually perfumes and colognes make me nauseous usually, unless they are really simple. walking through the perfume part of stores is torture for me. i don't know why i'm talking about this but at least i wrote a few sentences that weren't about misery. the end.