(no subject)
My life at present:
Currently going through like my 6th break up and it hurts. I need to follow through with it though becuase I keep being put through the same shit over and over again. I'm sad but at the same time my heads like u need this (ur heads getting screwed up more every time) I want us both to end up happy. And with whoever that is as long as where happy its ok. I'm tired of feeling hurt, each time i feel it eats away a piece of me, as though my emotion just slips away. I barely cry anymore. I cry cos i sometimes may listen to a song that'll make me really sad perfect example while writing this i'm crying and listneing to nickelbacks song far away. another perfect song on such occasions is that guy with the wierd voices song... "goodbye my lover" or something like that. that makes me cry too.... this is just sad i dont cry from being sad on my own. i need provoking. from a song of all things. a mixture of lyrics put together sometimes by some guy just to make a few bucks. this nickelback song seems decent though. they dont seem like assholes... james blunt though. exactly what his last name says. blunt. stupid human.. and now i'm angry. still crying but angry. Also roxette listen to your hearts a nice sad song. Note the fact i dont have enough friends to have time to give me sympathy so i'm resorting to talking about sad songs on the net. no one i told asked me if i wanted to go watch chick flicks at the movies and eat tubs of ice cream i had to ask and then got regected. cos in the end. no one gives a fuck cos its the 6th or so time (those numbers dont make ppl upset, clearly i'm just stupid). i dont cry but that doesn't mean i dont feel like pure shit on the inside. i dont think many ppl actually know that about me. i could be dying on the inside but on the outside i'll seem like the happiest person in the world. i think thats called delirium. although i'm not quite sure. I guess its partly my fault cos i stopped telling ppl i was going through a break up because i dont even get supported i just get ppl complaining at me for wanting to go back and then they go on and on about "he wasnt good to you", and bullshit like that. when really ppl dont really know whats going on unless i tell them and usually i tell them things when i'm angry or upset, and that gives a warped perspective ending up all evil person when really its nothing like that, i need hugs, i dont even get those from friends anymore. my step sisters are also pretty useless. one actually listens and thinks hey yeah i understand what u mean and fair enough that u want to do that. while the other ones like NO ALL BOYS ARE BAD HE'LL FUCK U OVER BLAH BLAH BLAH my ex did it so u'll have it too. and i think mmhmm thats right considering my ex has the decency to say bye to my family and actually has feelings towards me even though were breaking up.
Currently going through like my 6th break up and it hurts. I need to follow through with it though becuase I keep being put through the same shit over and over again. I'm sad but at the same time my heads like u need this (ur heads getting screwed up more every time) I want us both to end up happy. And with whoever that is as long as where happy its ok. I'm tired of feeling hurt, each time i feel it eats away a piece of me, as though my emotion just slips away. I barely cry anymore. I cry cos i sometimes may listen to a song that'll make me really sad perfect example while writing this i'm crying and listneing to nickelbacks song far away. another perfect song on such occasions is that guy with the wierd voices song... "goodbye my lover" or something like that. that makes me cry too.... this is just sad i dont cry from being sad on my own. i need provoking. from a song of all things. a mixture of lyrics put together sometimes by some guy just to make a few bucks. this nickelback song seems decent though. they dont seem like assholes... james blunt though. exactly what his last name says. blunt. stupid human.. and now i'm angry. still crying but angry. Also roxette listen to your hearts a nice sad song. Note the fact i dont have enough friends to have time to give me sympathy so i'm resorting to talking about sad songs on the net. no one i told asked me if i wanted to go watch chick flicks at the movies and eat tubs of ice cream i had to ask and then got regected. cos in the end. no one gives a fuck cos its the 6th or so time (those numbers dont make ppl upset, clearly i'm just stupid). i dont cry but that doesn't mean i dont feel like pure shit on the inside. i dont think many ppl actually know that about me. i could be dying on the inside but on the outside i'll seem like the happiest person in the world. i think thats called delirium. although i'm not quite sure. I guess its partly my fault cos i stopped telling ppl i was going through a break up because i dont even get supported i just get ppl complaining at me for wanting to go back and then they go on and on about "he wasnt good to you", and bullshit like that. when really ppl dont really know whats going on unless i tell them and usually i tell them things when i'm angry or upset, and that gives a warped perspective ending up all evil person when really its nothing like that, i need hugs, i dont even get those from friends anymore. my step sisters are also pretty useless. one actually listens and thinks hey yeah i understand what u mean and fair enough that u want to do that. while the other ones like NO ALL BOYS ARE BAD HE'LL FUCK U OVER BLAH BLAH BLAH my ex did it so u'll have it too. and i think mmhmm thats right considering my ex has the decency to say bye to my family and actually has feelings towards me even though were breaking up.