when I feel like writing something off of my chest.
I called my brother for about 15 times today, and every time I came to voice-message or I didn’t get through at all. finally he called me back. it felt nice, hearing his voice again.
.
we’re eight years apart, I turn 20, and he’s turned 28. our relationship when I was young was great, since I can’t remember much and the moments I can remember were usually caught on tape. but I had a feeling he was never really there, but he was always around.
.
then he went travelling the world, made new adventures, and I only read about them on blogs, or heard about it when he returned home a few times.
.
then I just never saw him around
.
and one time, when I was 15, I finally had had it. I was so angry at him for ignoring me. he would give everyone in the room a hug, except for me. and I had always looked up to him, because he was my big brother. suddenly it felt like I didn’t have one. so I wrote him an email, explaining all of my anger, and why I felt like I felt. he answered me, told me that he was sorry, and that he would explain later why he acted the way he did. my birthday came, and I sat on the bus to my dad. my brother called and told me that he would pick me up at the station, and then we could go to his place, just to talk, the two of us.
.
and so we did, and there he was, my brother again.
.
now he has a family: the woman of his life, and two adorable little children. he’s living the ordinary life, so to say, and he seems happy about it. he rarely comes out to family gatherings though, which is a little sad, but our family is pretty split up anyway. but I still look up to this man. he’s the most genuine man in my eyes; the way he cares, how he will be the greatest of fathers, and how he always have such a calm around himself.
.
I’m meeting him on the 25th of december, and I can’t long for it more. a part of me wish that I knew him better, that I could somehow hide in his arms when I wanna feel like a little child again, but another part knows that we’re too old for that now. but the warmth I feel when I am with his family is indescribable.
.
I wish I had a picture with just the two of us together. maybe someday I’ll ask for it, when I’ve built up the courage for it. but until then I’m satisfied to know that he will always be there for me, whenever I need it. and that is one of the things that keeps me going in life.
.
this is now off of my chest. thank you.
.
we’re eight years apart, I turn 20, and he’s turned 28. our relationship when I was young was great, since I can’t remember much and the moments I can remember were usually caught on tape. but I had a feeling he was never really there, but he was always around.
.
then he went travelling the world, made new adventures, and I only read about them on blogs, or heard about it when he returned home a few times.
.
then I just never saw him around
.
and one time, when I was 15, I finally had had it. I was so angry at him for ignoring me. he would give everyone in the room a hug, except for me. and I had always looked up to him, because he was my big brother. suddenly it felt like I didn’t have one. so I wrote him an email, explaining all of my anger, and why I felt like I felt. he answered me, told me that he was sorry, and that he would explain later why he acted the way he did. my birthday came, and I sat on the bus to my dad. my brother called and told me that he would pick me up at the station, and then we could go to his place, just to talk, the two of us.
.
and so we did, and there he was, my brother again.
.
now he has a family: the woman of his life, and two adorable little children. he’s living the ordinary life, so to say, and he seems happy about it. he rarely comes out to family gatherings though, which is a little sad, but our family is pretty split up anyway. but I still look up to this man. he’s the most genuine man in my eyes; the way he cares, how he will be the greatest of fathers, and how he always have such a calm around himself.
.
I’m meeting him on the 25th of december, and I can’t long for it more. a part of me wish that I knew him better, that I could somehow hide in his arms when I wanna feel like a little child again, but another part knows that we’re too old for that now. but the warmth I feel when I am with his family is indescribable.
.
I wish I had a picture with just the two of us together. maybe someday I’ll ask for it, when I’ve built up the courage for it. but until then I’m satisfied to know that he will always be there for me, whenever I need it. and that is one of the things that keeps me going in life.
.
this is now off of my chest. thank you.