(no subject)
Tonight: a house meeting led to me feeling like a cornered little animal and I fled into the misty night driving carelessly to Nathan's house and bursting forth into tears 10 minutes before we were to go see Michael Moore's new film. Earlier in the day, we had worked in the fabulously soft and damp afternoon planting the garden and talking seriously about me moving back in. Being confronted with a chore wheel and the things I do that Ethan and Alex dislike was so awful. I don't know why. I am so weak, so sensitive, so thinned-skinned or just non-skinned altogether. I'm a loudly beating exoskeleton heart pinned to the outside of my body and I'm totally transparent and vulnerable. Shit. If I can't handle this how on earth would I be able to study abroad?
I am so full of everything. Emotion you can't even imagine. As Nathan looked at me with those flashing, dear, deep eyes under the arch of the jasmine vines I couldn't describe the breadth of home that he is to me. His patience, kindness, and peace have gifted me all through the 7.5 years that we've been best soul friends.
Enough words. I must sleep. Hopefully I'll release them all in a torrent of sign language, which I am not yet capable of, in my dreams.
I am so full of everything. Emotion you can't even imagine. As Nathan looked at me with those flashing, dear, deep eyes under the arch of the jasmine vines I couldn't describe the breadth of home that he is to me. His patience, kindness, and peace have gifted me all through the 7.5 years that we've been best soul friends.
Enough words. I must sleep. Hopefully I'll release them all in a torrent of sign language, which I am not yet capable of, in my dreams.