(no subject)
Ahh, so much these days!
Trying to move out. Packing. Lists that get lost, get recycled, get mixed in with bags and boxes and under shoes thrown helter skelter when I rush around to leave for the show and then when I fall into bed after it. Working with Kathleen, listening and signing and nodding and laughing, so happy to have a job, so happy to have this relationship with someone. Not wanting to leave this house with Nathan, knowing that it's right. Trying to get school books bought, trying to get books sold, meeting friendly strangers in coffee shops to swap cash and text.
Boys all around me, as I stand and laugh tugging up my black corset, swishing my green skirt. Kissing boys on couches, in parking lots, in the neon whirl of parties. Boys coming out of the woodwork to tell me they always wanted to date me, find me gorgeous and magnetic. I don't know what to say, can only lapse into that wordless awe of giggling and blushing and "wow"s that build up and bubble forth one after another. I feel gorgeous, don't know what to make of it, my mind marvels at the way my body just goes ahead and looks the way it does whether my mind approves or not.
Costa Rica a crown of beating butterflies about my head, names of hostels and national parks drifting behind me in a streak of blurred oil paint Spanish as I drive through the channels of my life theater Kathleen home store woods, mingling with the motions of sign language.
Trying to move out. Packing. Lists that get lost, get recycled, get mixed in with bags and boxes and under shoes thrown helter skelter when I rush around to leave for the show and then when I fall into bed after it. Working with Kathleen, listening and signing and nodding and laughing, so happy to have a job, so happy to have this relationship with someone. Not wanting to leave this house with Nathan, knowing that it's right. Trying to get school books bought, trying to get books sold, meeting friendly strangers in coffee shops to swap cash and text.
Boys all around me, as I stand and laugh tugging up my black corset, swishing my green skirt. Kissing boys on couches, in parking lots, in the neon whirl of parties. Boys coming out of the woodwork to tell me they always wanted to date me, find me gorgeous and magnetic. I don't know what to say, can only lapse into that wordless awe of giggling and blushing and "wow"s that build up and bubble forth one after another. I feel gorgeous, don't know what to make of it, my mind marvels at the way my body just goes ahead and looks the way it does whether my mind approves or not.
Costa Rica a crown of beating butterflies about my head, names of hostels and national parks drifting behind me in a streak of blurred oil paint Spanish as I drive through the channels of my life theater Kathleen home store woods, mingling with the motions of sign language.