(no subject)
adam and I briefly broke up, and we probably will do so again 3987857 more times. that's just the way we function. we met at a bar, so I don't think you can expect to have a stable relationship considering that and all other things that I do not feel like re-mentioning. I am not sure why we are back together, really, other than the fact that I get immense joy out of knowing that it drives michelle nolan insane every time she looks at my myspace profile and sees "Who I'd like to meet: we've already met." also, he has flawless table manners. he's an expert with knives. he knows which to use and for what specific purposes, and this is very important, as well as extremely attractive, to me. I don't know what he gets out of the relationship, however, besides that it means he can wear my scarves, which he likes to do because he's a homosexual, I mean, metrosexual.
actually, I suspect the real reason we are still dating is because he knows I have good aim, and I'd probably have a good shot, too, except I do not own a gun as of right now. when I was six years old, this boy I liked dared me to try to hit him with a water balloon, and we both, I think, assumed that I would miss terribly time after time, and he would laugh at me and make me feel like the uncoordinated mess that I have always been. I mean, my idea of athleticism is sewing. however, I nailed him right the fucking face on my first try. to this day, this remains one of the proudest moments of my life. he cried, never really talked to me again, and spent the rest of our childhoods attempting to make my life miserable by telling our teachers I did various things that would result in my name on the blackboard constantly. adam may know how to throw a punch, but I know how to throw a vase.
I am thinking that maybe we should celebrate our reconciliation by buying his & her ak47s. unfortunately, reconciliation also means I have to stop consuming massive amounts of frozen custard, though fat would probably really add something to my white trash look ala britney spears.
actually, I suspect the real reason we are still dating is because he knows I have good aim, and I'd probably have a good shot, too, except I do not own a gun as of right now. when I was six years old, this boy I liked dared me to try to hit him with a water balloon, and we both, I think, assumed that I would miss terribly time after time, and he would laugh at me and make me feel like the uncoordinated mess that I have always been. I mean, my idea of athleticism is sewing. however, I nailed him right the fucking face on my first try. to this day, this remains one of the proudest moments of my life. he cried, never really talked to me again, and spent the rest of our childhoods attempting to make my life miserable by telling our teachers I did various things that would result in my name on the blackboard constantly. adam may know how to throw a punch, but I know how to throw a vase.
I am thinking that maybe we should celebrate our reconciliation by buying his & her ak47s. unfortunately, reconciliation also means I have to stop consuming massive amounts of frozen custard, though fat would probably really add something to my white trash look ala britney spears.