I got it...

[amd_chiyou]

Okay, i asked the very question that's been on my mind lately, and I haven't just realised something, someone just pointed it to me subtly. I wasn't really shocked. What i did was wrong, and It actually made sense that Shini had a lot on her mind in those days. And with me caring, and cared too much, that I didn't know what she was feeling then and there. I didn't know that she felt that way. and I was so stupid for ignoring it. Yup! I'm an ignorant person. It's actually really nice to realise you've made the mistake, but I guess with that people can't just forgive you straight away. I guess with that people can't just say "you're forgiven", because deep down inside they want you to earn their trust again.
Though in what I see, how can you earn someones trust back when they wouldn't let you? how can you overcome this? It's eating your brains out everytime you think about it.
One thing I have learnt is to never give up. but.. it seemed it was just a waste of time not giving especially if your former friend didn't want to forgive you for it..

Only one thing I can say.. I regret everything i did from there on, i've been trying to avoid getting close to people in the fear of it happening again. In the fear of losing a friend because I didn't have enough sense to back off when they wanted it. And also in the fear having to lose a really close friend, that also understood you in your time of need....