First entry in a loooooong time
I have many things on my mind. I just don't know how to put my thoughts into words. I have thought a lot about my life and everything that is going on in it. I think it is time to let everything out.
My senior year has been amazing so far. I believe I have grown up so much. I have made so many new friends this year. I have spent time with all of my really good friends. It's amazing how much I know about these people. I love it. I've hung out with people I never imagined I'd talk to. I've done things I never thought would do. Who would imagine "sweet little innocent" Amber to be a wild risk taker??? Not me. But I am. It feels wonderful to take risks. I've finally realized how much I have been holding back. I've finally realized that I have not been living at all. I really need to start taking control of my life and live.
I have learned so much this year. I learned that I cannot make everyone happy. I learned that I cannot be good at everything no matter how hard I try. I learned that some people are not who I expect, that they are just two-faced and immature. I learned how to let go of negative people and feelings. I learned how to become a leader. I learned how to take risks. I learned that I cannot change everything in my life. I learned how to take advantage of the bad things in my life. I learned that I was depressed last year and I learned that it was not worth it. I learned how to put my life in God's hands and just live. I learned how to be happy.
I was very upset and depressed last year. I was in such bad shape. But this year, I changed all of that. I became more outgoing and I started going out more and spending more time with my friends. I recognized all of the bad influences and bad habits in my life and tossed them. Once I was able to manage my time and take more risks, I became healthier and happier. I started to laugh more. I've missed laughing.
I am so excited for college. I know that I will be able to experience so much more and take more risks. I'm going to be able to understand more about myself and hopefully become more of the person who I want to be. But, I am so scared. I am scared to leave my mother and my brother. I am scared to leave all of my good friends. I am scared that I won't talk to half of my friends ever again. I am scared to fail at every goal I have set for myself.
I've made choices and decisions that I hope were for the best. I don't want to disappoint myself anymore. I have had enough disappointment for two lifetimes. For once, I want to know that I am doing SOMETHING right.
These are just a few thoughts running in and out of my mind. They need to be let out before I became crazy. Thanks for listening.
*Amber*
My senior year has been amazing so far. I believe I have grown up so much. I have made so many new friends this year. I have spent time with all of my really good friends. It's amazing how much I know about these people. I love it. I've hung out with people I never imagined I'd talk to. I've done things I never thought would do. Who would imagine "sweet little innocent" Amber to be a wild risk taker??? Not me. But I am. It feels wonderful to take risks. I've finally realized how much I have been holding back. I've finally realized that I have not been living at all. I really need to start taking control of my life and live.
I have learned so much this year. I learned that I cannot make everyone happy. I learned that I cannot be good at everything no matter how hard I try. I learned that some people are not who I expect, that they are just two-faced and immature. I learned how to let go of negative people and feelings. I learned how to become a leader. I learned how to take risks. I learned that I cannot change everything in my life. I learned how to take advantage of the bad things in my life. I learned that I was depressed last year and I learned that it was not worth it. I learned how to put my life in God's hands and just live. I learned how to be happy.
I was very upset and depressed last year. I was in such bad shape. But this year, I changed all of that. I became more outgoing and I started going out more and spending more time with my friends. I recognized all of the bad influences and bad habits in my life and tossed them. Once I was able to manage my time and take more risks, I became healthier and happier. I started to laugh more. I've missed laughing.
I am so excited for college. I know that I will be able to experience so much more and take more risks. I'm going to be able to understand more about myself and hopefully become more of the person who I want to be. But, I am so scared. I am scared to leave my mother and my brother. I am scared to leave all of my good friends. I am scared that I won't talk to half of my friends ever again. I am scared to fail at every goal I have set for myself.
I've made choices and decisions that I hope were for the best. I don't want to disappoint myself anymore. I have had enough disappointment for two lifetimes. For once, I want to know that I am doing SOMETHING right.
These are just a few thoughts running in and out of my mind. They need to be let out before I became crazy. Thanks for listening.
*Amber*