[Multi-Chaptered] Dear Snow (2/?)
The snow is still falling. Really, can you see snow from
where you are? I want to know…It’s been over a week now and this new boy, Aiba
Masaki will not leave me alone. Please make him go away? I don’t like seeing
him lie in your bed or use your coat. He knows nothing about you, but I can’t
tell him. I don’t know why I can’t tell him. I’ve only yelled at him since he
arrived and I’m starting to get sick of how I’m acting…Give me strength, ne? I
don’t want any friend but you…but I can’t let go…I can’t…this boy is so
friendly but I’m so miserable…I wish I was still alone in our room, but even
better, I wish I could see your smile again….it might have cheered me up.
Matsumoto Jun
Age 15
Over a week had passed and Aiba never let Jun go a moment without trying to touch
him. It all resulted in Jun slapping his hand away and him laughing it off. He asked around and found out about Sho. Aiba’s heart sank at hearing the tragic story and he didn’t know how to deal with helping him cope since a year had already passed. Secretly he wished Jun would forget about Sho and stop dwelling on it. Secretly he wanted to be close to Jun but there was no opportunity to do that.
Aiba sat on the edge of his bed drawing random things on his school notebook, occasionally glancing up
to look at Jun. He wondered why Jun was already writing. Who is he writing to day after day? Frustrated, Aiba ran a
hand through his shaggy brown hair and stood up and made a B-line right for Jun. Immediately Jun noticed and covered anything he had been writing.
“Get away from me! I’m busy!” Jun snapped. He continued to cover the paper. Aiba continued to curiously look over it.
“Eh~? Why are you so mean all the time? I just want to know who you’re writing for…” he whined.
Jun sighed heavily, “Just stay out of it, just….just leave me alone….and stop touching me, I don’t appreciate that either….” Aiba moved back a bit while Jun continued, “If you’re going to live here with me, then just stay out of my stuff and disappear, okay!”
Aiba was shocked and speechless. He backed away from Jun and went back to his bed where he picked up his notebook and scurried out of the room, trying to give Jun some space to cool down.
“He just exploded…”
Aiba sat next to Nino on the staircase.
“He just attacks me all the time…all I do is ask him a question…”
Nino blinked, “What did you ask about?”
Aiba sighed and began speaking fast about the situation, “I was tired of seeing Jun crabby day after day so I wanted to cheer him up but I didn’t cheer him up I made him mad and he’s smacked me before and I wanted to know who he’s writing to because he has no time for anyone else and he hates me being in his room becau-.”
Nino cut him off, “Who is he writing to? He’s writing to Sho you dumbass!”
“Sho? I thought he was dead…”
“Yeah, he’s dead but Jun is still grieving….”
“Oh! So that’s why he keeps throwing things around and calling me names and telling me I shouldn’t be here!”
Nino was a bit shocked that Aiba could react about the situation in the way he did. After a moment, Aiba’s eyes had gone a bit dull and he eventually stared at the floor. There was no mistake, Aiba felt badly about pushing Jun. He knew about Sho, but didn’t know Jun was in so much pain.
“It’s okay, Aiba-chan, he’ll get over it someday, just take your time with him so he doesn’t get triggered again, okay?
Nino patted Aiba’s back gently then smiled warmly, “Just stay out of his desk, otherwise you might wake up dead…well…not wake up.” He chuckled dryly and scooted off upstairs, probably to find Ohno.
“Jun’s desk…” A light bulb popped on in Aiba’s head. He was willing to take the chance of being torn apart by Jun, but he wanted to see where all those letters go and what they said. Hopefully he’d be able to understand Jun’s situation better and they could finally get along for once.
-----
It was Jun’s day to help clean up after dinner so that left Aiba bored without someone to bother. Aiba stood in front of Jun’s chipped up old desk and looked at the bottom drawer where Jun always slipped the envelopes into.
“Should I? I will!”
Aiba cracked open the drawer and dug his hand in and pulled out a random envelope. He took a deep breath and opened it as carefully as possible. He noticed wet mark that had caused some of the pen to bleed across the page. He unfolded the letter:
-January 26th-
Why didn’t anyone save you? It was your birthday too! Why didn’t anyone try and save you, Sho-chan…? I heard you fell through the ice on the river and got sucked underneath…was it scary? How did it feel knowing your life was leaving you? How did you feel about leaving me? I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I should have. I could have pulled you caught you and pulled you from the water, but I wasn’t there. I’m so sorry, Sho-chan. It was all my fault… You were just about to leave the home and you said you’d become famous, but…I’m sorry I wasn’t there, I really am. Please forgive me. They won’t hold a funeral for you, but I hope you can rest in peace after all you’ve been through. It’s still snowing like yesterday, the day you died. Is heaven a nice place? I really wish right now that I could join you, but you’d be mad if I tried. If you see me crying, don’t feel bad, it was my fault anyway, so please, don’t feel bad. I miss you, Sho-chan…I wish I could turn back time so I could see you
smile one more time, but I don’t have that ability… miss you a lot and I’m sorry…I’m sure I’ll see you one day…I promise…then I’ll apologize to you face to face.
Matsumoto Jun
Age 14
Aiba could feel tears slide down his cheek while reading the depressing letter. It was dated for the 26th of January and it said Jun was 14.
“This was the first letter…” he whispered to himself.
He sniffled a bit, “Why does Jun-chan think it’s all his fault…he lives with such a heavy guilt. There was nothing that could have saved Sho….nothing…it was completely out of his control…but he goes on with life, this hanging over his head….Sho wouldn’t want that for him…”
Hearing steps coming toward their out of the way room, Aiba quickly stuffed the letter back into the envelope and shoved it in the drawer. He practically flew to his bed and sat on the edge of it, wiping away the tears he’d shed from reading Jun’s letter to Sho.
Jun opened the door and sighed heavily when he saw Aiba.
“Don’t you have other things to do beside sit in here…?” Jun said, complaining as he usually did. It was then that he noticed the wetness on Aiba’s face.
“Were you crying? Why?” Jun’s question was harsh.
Aiba shook his head, “It’s nothing, I just felt tired and I can’t go to bed yet.”
The lame excuse was enough for Jun, just as long as it shut Aiba up. He sat down at his desk and pulled out a book. It was tattered and the binding was all ripped up. It was colored all over so there was no telling exactly what the title was. It had the word ‘Time’ on it, but the other was either ripped off or colored over.
“Ne…Jun-chan?”
“Matsumoto-san to you, remember?” he snapped in reply.
“Ah, Matsumoto-san….what are you reading…?”
Jun sighed, “The Time Machine.”
“Why is it all ripped up?”
“It was Sho’s favorite book.” Jun’s voice had gotten lower than usual and there was a hint of remorse
in the words he spoke.
“But why are you reading it?”
“I wanted to know Sho-chan’s thoughts.”
“But….” Aiba was confused.
“I want to go back in time…” Jun was in a bit of a daze, staring off into space trying to find his own answers as to why he was reading the book.
Aiba wanted to tell Jun he read the letter, but stayed quiet, for fear he would potentially get beat up. He stepped away from Jun and lied down on his bed. Quietly, he thought about the letter and tears came to his eyes. He wanted to do something nice to Jun, something that even he couldn’t refuse or freak out about. He began formulating an answer.
“Ne…Matsumoto-san…?” Aiba said softly.
“Hmm?”
“I’ve lost people I love too…you’re not alone…okay?”
Jun was silent. No one had ever said any such thing to him. It made him more sad, but in the tiniest way, helped him cope with his struggle to let go of Sho. He felt bad for treating Aiba so terribly, so he starting thinking honestly with himself.
He spoke softly in reply, “I know...”
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A/N: Yay! Chapter 2 is finished! :3 Things should be a bit more smooth from here on out and the rating may or may not go up depending on how I feel XD I hope you enjoyed it~!