Sometimes I can forget how fucked up everything is
But it usually doesn't last long.
Silly me, thinking I would be alllll better in a month. Yea, I can walk around with out my thigh aching (they cut several muscle tendons and such out) but...idk. I've noticed my scar will flare up icy or hot and it hurts and feels...weird.
I'm having a hard time with school now. I failed 3 tests! Like, wtf! Its either a by product of my meds messing with my already poor concentration..or I'm getting burned out on school.
*headdesk*
Its against the law for your job to fire you if you leave and come back due to medical issues. However, it is not against the law if they sudenly just never put you back on the scheduale, which apparently happened because I'm not able to work 10 hour shifts anymore.
Thanks guys, your a great model of a Christain establishment. Its not like I live on my own, and have these rather big (but not impossible) medical bills.
I think we should jsut stop putting religion on a label and selling it. Just cause.
Good news is that after almost 2 months of panic I have a job again, with the promise of maybe another.
I work at Starbucks now...o.O
Its rather strange, actually. Its so laid back and I get 2 ten minute breaks on the clock and a 30 minute lunch. I can actually sit down, and I have a boss that doesnt yell at me or throw me dirty looks! He's actually really nice and I get praise! Compliemts make the Ambria happy. ^.^
Plus, its just across from school, so saves gas.
Steven and I are still living together. I would say its awkward..but its not. Although I really wish he'd get a roomie soon. I wish I could move out soon too..but thats not going to happen while I still make under 1K a month.
I've decided for the next few months to focus on nothing but getting independent. Make enough so I can live comfortably on my own, have my own place, with REAL furniture (not plastic storage tubs for a dressor).
Why jump into another relationship? As horrible as it sounds right now all I want is money. So :P
Maybe I should just start saying that actually. I've been using the excuse that I'm a lesiban just to get a few people off my back.
And thats sad. No, I'm not interested should be enough.
And dont try that pity shit where you say you'll never find love, your so lonely, blah blah blah...
Seriously?
I've been in a relationships and nothing but relationships for the past 4 or 5 years. I guess I had to make up for never dating in high school. And now I'm burned out.
And I really could blame alot of it on Steven. All the dumb little games, broken promises, tears, let-downs, not having my feeling returned, having to chose between him or my friends, blah blah, (insert pity party here)
Sometimes I wonder how I'm not insane. And sometimes I think I may have been much better off never dating him. Or maybe, not getting back together for the 3rd time.
Now that we're NOT dating, and just being friends (with some benifits xP)..my stress levels have gone down soooo much.
Why the fuck didnt I reach this conclusion sooner?
Sometimes, I hate myself. >.<
Of course, can't blame everything on him, there were lost of others. He was just the primarly the "One".
I think this belongs in its own entry actually.
So yea....happy stuff. Starbucks.
I drank 6 shots of expresso half an hour ago. FB, Twitter, Shadows started to bore me, (or couldnt keep up with me) so I ended up here again.
xD