(no subject)
As is often the case, I'm not exactly sure how to put what I feel into words. How does one judge another's commitment and enthusiasm? By what they say, by what they promise to do, or what they ACTUALLY decide to do? Do they consider your time, your feelings, and your happiness? Or are they too wrapped up in their own impulsive attitudes and activities to give you a polite and considerate phone call.
Do people remain silent, or do they have the common courtesy to want to talk to you and repair the damage?
I have a tendency to start big projects, and I usually finish them....eventually. I am often extremely dependent on other's help and assistance, which I am forever greatful for. I have a whole slew of friends who are always more than willing to offer a helping hand. And frankly, that's exactly what they are. Honest, selfless, caring individuals. True friends, to say the least.
Now sometimes I become confused and perplexed by people who don't seem to want to be completely honest with me, and that can hurt.
There are some people in your life that bring you what seems like never-ending satisfaction and joy....
Some others take it from you. And you find yourself asking, "is this the last time"?
Are the increments of joy worth the occasional DEVASTATING BLOW?
How many times can your heart break before it becomes too hard to put the pieces back together?
I suppose you have to look at yourself in light of others suffering though, and you realize you don't have it all that bad....perhaps not even nearly as bad.
Ya know I've been thinking. I'm pretty lonely. I don't seem to be, and I do a lot of pretending that I'm not, but I am. I'm scared sometimes. I feel alienated by this world of youth who just likes to drink, get high, party, and fuck around. That's cool, do your own thing I say. But ya know it ain't all about that. You really ain't doin your own thing anyway. Your doing the exact same thing every other kid between 16-24 is doing, but somehow because ITS YOU in that picture on facebook holding a beer you're different. It's about feelings, and spending time with people, and laughing, and jokes, and love, and family, and friends who care, and sharing in the sometimes wonderful gift of humanity and emotion. But sometimes it can really be a bitch.
Who the hell can I fucking talk to.
You can see things so clearly it frustrates the hell out of you others can't. You watch people waste time in meaningless relationships just so they can avoid what I feel every day. Bullshit. You'll survive. I have. I have to. You have to.
And what about you? So now what's the deal, does this mean I'll only see you three times a year instead of the usual five? Really looking forward to next September. At least it's a year away. ANd don't think I forgot about you. No I know you got more important things going on....yeah right, I know what those things are. Hey lets hang out with an ex-boyfriend, or flirt with a member of an organized sport. Mightest well, there's so many cocky God damn many of them. Why are you so attracted to everything null and void of being the slightest bit interesting?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Do people remain silent, or do they have the common courtesy to want to talk to you and repair the damage?
I have a tendency to start big projects, and I usually finish them....eventually. I am often extremely dependent on other's help and assistance, which I am forever greatful for. I have a whole slew of friends who are always more than willing to offer a helping hand. And frankly, that's exactly what they are. Honest, selfless, caring individuals. True friends, to say the least.
Now sometimes I become confused and perplexed by people who don't seem to want to be completely honest with me, and that can hurt.
There are some people in your life that bring you what seems like never-ending satisfaction and joy....
Some others take it from you. And you find yourself asking, "is this the last time"?
Are the increments of joy worth the occasional DEVASTATING BLOW?
How many times can your heart break before it becomes too hard to put the pieces back together?
I suppose you have to look at yourself in light of others suffering though, and you realize you don't have it all that bad....perhaps not even nearly as bad.
Ya know I've been thinking. I'm pretty lonely. I don't seem to be, and I do a lot of pretending that I'm not, but I am. I'm scared sometimes. I feel alienated by this world of youth who just likes to drink, get high, party, and fuck around. That's cool, do your own thing I say. But ya know it ain't all about that. You really ain't doin your own thing anyway. Your doing the exact same thing every other kid between 16-24 is doing, but somehow because ITS YOU in that picture on facebook holding a beer you're different. It's about feelings, and spending time with people, and laughing, and jokes, and love, and family, and friends who care, and sharing in the sometimes wonderful gift of humanity and emotion. But sometimes it can really be a bitch.
Who the hell can I fucking talk to.
You can see things so clearly it frustrates the hell out of you others can't. You watch people waste time in meaningless relationships just so they can avoid what I feel every day. Bullshit. You'll survive. I have. I have to. You have to.
And what about you? So now what's the deal, does this mean I'll only see you three times a year instead of the usual five? Really looking forward to next September. At least it's a year away. ANd don't think I forgot about you. No I know you got more important things going on....yeah right, I know what those things are. Hey lets hang out with an ex-boyfriend, or flirt with a member of an organized sport. Mightest well, there's so many cocky God damn many of them. Why are you so attracted to everything null and void of being the slightest bit interesting?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!