(no subject)
I had a wonderful time last night. I'd like to thank Adam, Corey, Stevie, Lindsay, Courtney, My Spiritual Warrior Brother, Pat, Amber, Brad, Chuck, Rachel, Nolan, and Fish for spending the evening with me. I had a joyous time and hope you all did as well. I think we truely reached maximum occupancy in my basement.
I took a Psycology class this semseter in hopes that I would discover things about myself that would lead to growth and stability, but it turns out that the class was for fuck.
Even while sitting there snug between nearly 14 of you, I felt somewhat alone. Anxiety is strange, because it tends to amplify even the smallest of feelings. I fear being alone, and I fear the times when my basement is empty. When all of you are off with your boyfriends and girlfriends living your own seperate lives. And there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn't. I am truly happy for all of you.
I suppose I need to find someone special who will work thru my anxieties and fears with me, and not be turned off or shrug when I suddenly stop eating at a restaurant or incessantly begin to chew spearment gum. I've had chances, but something bigger usually comes in the way or I plain just loose my footing.
I savor and appreciate my solitude, but sometimes the need for a different kind of love is over-powering. How can someone surrounded by so many warm hearts and smiles constantly in their life, feel lonely?
I took a Psycology class this semseter in hopes that I would discover things about myself that would lead to growth and stability, but it turns out that the class was for fuck.
Even while sitting there snug between nearly 14 of you, I felt somewhat alone. Anxiety is strange, because it tends to amplify even the smallest of feelings. I fear being alone, and I fear the times when my basement is empty. When all of you are off with your boyfriends and girlfriends living your own seperate lives. And there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn't. I am truly happy for all of you.
I suppose I need to find someone special who will work thru my anxieties and fears with me, and not be turned off or shrug when I suddenly stop eating at a restaurant or incessantly begin to chew spearment gum. I've had chances, but something bigger usually comes in the way or I plain just loose my footing.
I savor and appreciate my solitude, but sometimes the need for a different kind of love is over-powering. How can someone surrounded by so many warm hearts and smiles constantly in their life, feel lonely?