you should take what you can get out of this life.

[amblerisazombie]

I sometimes wonder if it's possible for me to be stress free.

Yesterday morning I woke up to my mom telling me my grandfather's in the hospital.
He had a heart attack.

I get home from work tonight and my brother brings up how he's not doing too well.
Idk how long my mom has been at the hospital...I wanted to go but work currently consumes all of my time.
Wtf...like I can't believe I put work before my grandfather. What is wrong with me?

I don't know what to do anymore.

I talked to my dad briefly and my grandfather has apparently had two seizures.

I'm alone and I don't want to be alone, but that's how it always is with situations like these.

My back is seriously done for with the amount of knots that currently inhibit it.
I need to get out of the house...I need to ride my bike... maybe I should be alone.