anxiety is going to hold me back
i have started this entry over and over again. apparently i can't write.
i have two prospective opportunities. one would be to work in a lab for a psychology professor running labs and the like. this would certainly be great volunteer experience and allow me to get my foot in the door of the academic world once more, despite not actually being in school. i don't even know if he would accept me as a volunteer since i'm not actually enrolled. the other opportunity would be for a higher paying job if i can do well in a telephone interview tomorrow. the job wouldn't even be doing something i'm interested in or something i would like. it would be a challenge to say the least.
part of me doesn't want to email this professor. that same part doesn't want me to do well in the interview.
i think i'm terribly afraid of failing, of embarrassing myself. if i don't try then i can't fail. i'm having a really hard time figuring out what to do. the logical part of me knows i should try to pursue these opportunities. they would certainly help my personal growth and allow for future, greater opportunities. but i am comfortable.
i wish i could just get over myself.
i have two prospective opportunities. one would be to work in a lab for a psychology professor running labs and the like. this would certainly be great volunteer experience and allow me to get my foot in the door of the academic world once more, despite not actually being in school. i don't even know if he would accept me as a volunteer since i'm not actually enrolled. the other opportunity would be for a higher paying job if i can do well in a telephone interview tomorrow. the job wouldn't even be doing something i'm interested in or something i would like. it would be a challenge to say the least.
part of me doesn't want to email this professor. that same part doesn't want me to do well in the interview.
i think i'm terribly afraid of failing, of embarrassing myself. if i don't try then i can't fail. i'm having a really hard time figuring out what to do. the logical part of me knows i should try to pursue these opportunities. they would certainly help my personal growth and allow for future, greater opportunities. but i am comfortable.
i wish i could just get over myself.