It's Personal
Today when my usually tablemates were absent I decided to sit with Rebecca, Sydni, Veronica instead. So when I moved my book I could tell Becca was sitting talking about Jose. Then I said I would leave if she wanted. Sydni said she didn't care but Rebecca said, It's Kinda Personal. This one statement sent chills down my spine, and I could feel the pain all the way to my toes. So Impersonal like we werent even friends.
This is the thing about me and Rebecca. Me and Rebecca have been best friends until a few months ago since our 6th grade year, She told me everything, absolutely everything. She called me when she first tried pot, when she cut herself, and when she was contemplating suicide. I was the first person she ever told about Jose. One night this semester I am going to say around February. Rebecca calls me out of nowhere and says you want to hang out. I didn't really feel good, but I hadnt spent time with her in is long I said yes. Her mother already didnt like me since I had a wreck when I was 15, and stole my moms car. (Another time, Another story) But she let me go out with her and after driving around for a while. Her boyfriend called and wanted us to come over, so I did. So my curfew was early that night and I had to go and I wanted to stay. So she was going to have Jose drive her home. So i went home, and around 11 her mom called. I answeared and not wanting to tell her mom she was Jose I said she was with Veronica. Her mom proceeded to yell at me and tell me I was "wrong." I was just very compliant and said I was sorry. Then i fell into bed and cried. Anyway Monday at school, Rebecca asked me what had happen. I told her the truth. And said her mom said that I had gotten smart with her and acted like I thought I was better than Rebecca. All my friends said they couldnt see me doing that, and I was nearly in tears. I thought it was resolved, but the next day she stopped sitting with me in photography and talking to me. I mean I lost my best friend. And you know what hurt even more is that she believed it. I dont know why she would believe that. I thought she knew me better then that. Now our friendship has been reduced to less than even aqquaintances. So today it hit me like a tons of bricks being lodged at my forehead.
its personal. Those two words. the same girl who has been to ever one of my birthday parties Its personal, those words. Its personal, it's personal, its personal. Nearly resolved me to tears of course I did not cry or shed a tear. Its funny. The first day of school in english we had to read a intro letter to the class, and i wrote all about how becca was my best friend, how we were so close, how we could talk about absolutely anything.
She looked at me like i was a stranger, a nosy stranger that she hardly knew.
"Its kinda Personal." Those small words broke my heart.
And to stop it all off, i feel unusally nausated right now. And ive been feeling this often. And Im so crabby and sensitive. *Sigh*
This is the thing about me and Rebecca. Me and Rebecca have been best friends until a few months ago since our 6th grade year, She told me everything, absolutely everything. She called me when she first tried pot, when she cut herself, and when she was contemplating suicide. I was the first person she ever told about Jose. One night this semester I am going to say around February. Rebecca calls me out of nowhere and says you want to hang out. I didn't really feel good, but I hadnt spent time with her in is long I said yes. Her mother already didnt like me since I had a wreck when I was 15, and stole my moms car. (Another time, Another story) But she let me go out with her and after driving around for a while. Her boyfriend called and wanted us to come over, so I did. So my curfew was early that night and I had to go and I wanted to stay. So she was going to have Jose drive her home. So i went home, and around 11 her mom called. I answeared and not wanting to tell her mom she was Jose I said she was with Veronica. Her mom proceeded to yell at me and tell me I was "wrong." I was just very compliant and said I was sorry. Then i fell into bed and cried. Anyway Monday at school, Rebecca asked me what had happen. I told her the truth. And said her mom said that I had gotten smart with her and acted like I thought I was better than Rebecca. All my friends said they couldnt see me doing that, and I was nearly in tears. I thought it was resolved, but the next day she stopped sitting with me in photography and talking to me. I mean I lost my best friend. And you know what hurt even more is that she believed it. I dont know why she would believe that. I thought she knew me better then that. Now our friendship has been reduced to less than even aqquaintances. So today it hit me like a tons of bricks being lodged at my forehead.
its personal. Those two words. the same girl who has been to ever one of my birthday parties Its personal, those words. Its personal, it's personal, its personal. Nearly resolved me to tears of course I did not cry or shed a tear. Its funny. The first day of school in english we had to read a intro letter to the class, and i wrote all about how becca was my best friend, how we were so close, how we could talk about absolutely anything.
She looked at me like i was a stranger, a nosy stranger that she hardly knew.
"Its kinda Personal." Those small words broke my heart.
And to stop it all off, i feel unusally nausated right now. And ive been feeling this often. And Im so crabby and sensitive. *Sigh*